Views on Raceplay

Views on Raceplay

Slavetoronto​(sub male) • Jul 27, 2020

I've been off this site for a long time and decided to log back in.

Me. I'm a submissive black male and I have always been attracted to dominant woman. Pro-Dommes that I have spoken to in the past always tell me that a black man cannot be submissive which I find strange.

I've been into raceplay since I was about 18-19, I'm 37 years now and I still find it a turn on to act out. My past relationships and BDSM encounters have been with white woman and some have taken part in raceplay activities. I was wondering what are peoples views on this? I don't kink shame and to each their own however I find that more and more people are frowning upon it. Where I am in Canada, it is had to find a woman into this. Past girlfriends were accepting and I did serve a woman for 6 years who was okay with it but her time now is spent less on the BDSM lifestyle. Now I find myself seeking a domanint woman into it but no one seems okay with it.

TheChimera​(sub female) • Jul 27, 2020

Personally, if you're into raceplay, then you're into it!~ Enjoy it!

I'm sorry, but if anyone tries to tell you what you can and cannot be based on your sex,age,race,etc. They can piss up a rope.
Clearly those "Pro-Dommes" weren't as pro as they think they are, lol!

I've met and seen a few wonderful submissives of different cultures and races since I've returned to the lifestyle~

Justme26 • Jul 27, 2020

I think you will find groups for race play on Fetlife. A lady, into race play, did once approach me, and a part of me got very excited about the idea. But a bigger part of me was very uncomfortable. I suppose I am part of a group of people (white, English, middle class etc) who have (and maybe still do) who have harmed a lot of other people (women, other races etc) and, for me personally, role playing my own history does not feel right. I guess nothing gets you limp more quickly than British middle class guilt.

It is clear, I hope, that this is not a judgment on what you do, just an explanation on why I do not do it. But maybe try Fetlife.

LordofPain56 • Jul 28, 2020

Long ago, when I was younger, I met a black girl who was loose, happy and easy to talk to. I liked her and we dated. At some point she wanted to play, but I told he that I don't do vanilla and if she wanted playtime with me that I would hang her by her wrists from the ceiling and beat her with whips. She covered her face and asked; "you mean you want to make me a slave" (meaning that she thought there was a racial component to my attitude). No, I replied, I am a sadistic Dominant, but I am the type that is opposed to slavery, indentured servitude and believe that God made all equal in his eyes regardless of color of skin. She perked up and then asked, but are you going to hurt me? I told her that I intended to give her a good beating up to the point that I find her pain limit, but that I would not leave marks or any injury. She agreed. Crazy, right?
We kept seeing each other over several months till she finally disappeared. Best submissive I ever had and she never even knew she was a sub.
In this case, there was no racial component to the play, in fact if a girl wanted to play that way, it would have turned me off. I can only suggest that you lay it on the line and see if you can reel somebody in. Worked for me.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Jul 28, 2020

Eh. "Race" is a factor even if people pretend otherwise. But a white person can have a "black" attitude. And vice versa.

Those women that said a black man can't be submissive are wrong. Likely said out of fear from back when black people were used for "slave labour". Which is NOT the same thing at all.

What exactly about the "race" of another person appeals to you? And more importantly are you even considering that others of different skin types can have what you look for? If it's "The color of the skin" from a "artistic" stand point, fair enough. But if it's "attitude" then that can be taught and learned regardless of skin color.

Bunnie • Jul 28, 2020

@ Slavetoronto,

In all honesty, I don’t know anything about raceplay. I’m kind of curious how it works... does each person just have specific behaviours that they associate with their race and they exaggerate them? I will google to see if I can find info, but if anyone is comfortable to please explain what it is, I’d be very grateful.
As for whether I believe it’s ok or not... as far as I’m concerned, like with anything... if it’s enthusiastically consensual amongst all parties involved, have at it

IowaDom​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2020

From Kinkly.com - NOT my definition, theirs - just so everybody in the chat understands what it means

Definition - What does Race Play mean?
Race play is when a dominant and submissive take part in BDSM play that involves role play with race. People take on roles of power and submission of different races to create a power dynamic that is historically or contemporarily accurate. For example, a scene of race play could be an African-American woman role-playing the role of a slave with a White dominant. Another example is a White woman and an Asian American man taking on the roles of colonial Indochina. The important thing to remember is the real historical disparities in power that people really suffered. Being aware of the political overtones and the real pain that existed in a master/slave relationship is crucial. The BDSM scene is not exempt from racial politics. There are many who may be uncomfortable and offended by taking part in race play due to the real suffering that many of their ancestors or family have experienced. However, there are others who enjoy race play and look at it as a form of sexual stimulation.

~end kinkly, begin ID~

All that being said, with todays social climate, and everything that is going on, I have no doubt you are having difficulty finding partners. It is often times difficult enough to engage in the lifestyle period, with having to concern yourself with people using it against you, or even going as far as to blackmail others. Add this particular element into what is already happening in our world around us, throw it into a public hotspot. and some horrible things could happen.

I am not kink shaming, and I am certainly not judging anybody who wants to participate, I may not agree on a personal level enough to take part, but I will defend your right to make your choices from the rooftops... Safe, Sane, Consensual choices.

Bunnie • Jul 28, 2020

Thank you @ IowaDom, I really appreciate that information. Best way to learn is to ask, so I’m grateful to you for helping me.

I also came across this snippet which I think helped me understand a bit better what defines it differently from what could otherwise simply be any other form of power exchange...

“Race Play is an avant-garde form of role play used by consenting adults, that incorporates racist, hurtful, & derogatory terms and comments regarding the others race, to fulfill and reach sexual pleasure.

**** although this is very controversial, MOST participating in RacePlay keep things strictly sexual and do not support or advocate for racial inequities. *****”

Anyway, without further hijacking the discussion, I just wanted to share this for anyone else who may not have known much about this type of play.

Great discussion topic, thank you @ Slavetoronto.

DrKrall • Aug 6, 2020

The way I see it raceplay doesn't equal racism. I doubt a racist Dominant would want a submissive of a different "race".
I'm all for womens rights, equality and all that, but even so I like my women to submit. I like to whip and spank them. I'm into TPE and CNC.
Do I think rape is fine? No! Do I think abuse is OK? No! Most of us can tell a BDSM relationship built on consent from abuse.
Why would raceplay differ from other "plays"? If I had a black sub I think it would have to be discussed. Would the contrast in skin tone matter? Would it be a turn on? And what would the white Master/black slave do to us? Personally I don't know if I would be into it or not, but either way I would let her decide. And even if we did engage in raceplay I definitely would not tolerate any racist remarks from anybody else outside of our dynamic.

If raceplay is your thing, what right have others to judge?