Being a “Boss Lady” - why is this an issue?

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Nov 19, 2021

!

P!, I swear, I hadn't seen this thread before I posted my blog! "Boss Lady"! *Raises hand* does it count if I'm only the Boss Lady once a week?

For me, I LOVE being in charge because it provides me with the opportunity to serve my team. My leadership style is one of service. I try very hard to make sure that my team doesn't feel alone, that they are supported in their work both emotionally as well as physically (do they have what they need? Do they need help? Guidance? A laugh? A repremand?) and because im the one organizing the work flow, it allows me to tame the "head cats" and not feel unstable or like I'm floundering.

But when I get home, I need to be able to release the stress and tension. I need someone else to take the reins and guide ME and support ME. At work, my body is always moving so the "head cats" are caged but at home, they break free and I no longer have the emotional strength to control them.

Unfortunately, right now, I AM alone so it's a struggle.

I feel able to rest when I'm in submission.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Nov 19, 2021

Submission is a choice " Boss lady " or not .

"So I am curious why some have commented that a Boss Lady
- wants to be a man
- that the more money she makes the more she expects a man to make
- too intelligent to be submissive
- is really a closet Domme"


Weak people say / think such things.

I've yet to meet a submissive that is "too intelligent". Those who say such stupidity spew other red flags.

We are who we lead if we cant deal with the person as a whole human being we have no right to call ourselves a Dom.

Miki • Nov 19, 2021

One must remember how old that word is, and how things were when it was common..

Not that it's OK and ppl ought not be using it now.

-----------

Senior citizens still occasionally still refer to me as "oriental". It was the word to use back in the day. While except for expensive, hand-weaved rugs, it ought not be used anymore. But it's a word. I don't get my panties all bunched up when I hear it.

Side note: I have been called "Boss Lady" back when I held such a position--- by women no less. Again, just a word.

I honestly believe there are too many, much bigger things to worry about in this world to sweat an outdated slang word.

And a rhetorical question. Are there no slang words used by women agains t men? Let's take a chill pill.

DaddyPP​(dom male) • Nov 20, 2021

I hear people talk about this often enough, but I have never actually seen or heard anyone say any of that. In my view it would boil down to insecurity and feelings of inferiority. A real man doesn't give a rats ass about any of that, at all. Men, or women, who feel they still have something to prove might I suppose.
I think I would steer clear of anyone who openly expressed those views. There is too much self discovery yet to be had.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Nov 20, 2021

Is that really an issue? Serious question.
I I have never heard, and don't agree with the opinion that, a strong, in charge woman is any of these things. In fact I think it's pretty fucking sexy.
So let's tickle these issues one by one:

- She wants to be a man
* I am not sure how one translates to the other but surely there are much better ways to manifest one's trans inclinations?

- that the more money she makes the more she expects a man to make
* I am pretty sure that no paper currency has a gender identity. But if it did then the optimist in me thinks if George Washington and Susan B Anthony had a kid it would did it would probably be bisexual.

- too intelligent to be submissive
* there is no such thing as "too intelligent" for anything. Except for being stupid or ignorant. I guess one can be too intelligent to be stupid or ignorant. However I don't have any information or supporting material regarding this (because I am ignorant about it, get it?)

- is really a closet Domme
* Does that argument apply more so or less if it is a walk-in closet Domme?

I have had both female supervisors and managers, some of whom were awesome and some who were crap, and in no case having to do with their gender. They were simply either capable bosses or shit bosses.

Re: Being a “Boss Lady” - why is this an issue?

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 20, 2021

Oh wow, i love this topic, thank you for posting.

i think a lot of the attitudes and notions we encounter in life are ingrained in the dominant culture, and i am not referring to BDSM when i say that, but culture in general. i think most cultures like BDSM or gay or ___________, have absorbed attitudes and notions of the cultures around them. i think a lot of those attitudes and notions are unconscious, or worse, accepted as 'truth.'

There is nothing like a personal reality to wake one up to a social or cultural standard that just isn't 'true.' i would say it is a "miss to jump to the assumption that a Boss Lady is not a true submissive," because that notion misses you, and you are real.

To me it's a matter of elevating standards or ideas over living, breathing people. Some turn standards/ideas into rules of what must be and find security in conformity. Rules that are static, that do not move around. i think there is something in human nature that perceives static as "secure." But i think that is both an illusion and delusion. i think the only thing that is static is death, so i have wondered if that drive for 'security' (in that static, rule sense) is not some sort of death wish? i think living is moving, change. i think in order to live and be alive, we have to pay attention and see/hear and respond to what is vs what 'should be.'

i think those who say:
- wants to be a man
- that the more money she makes the more she expects a man to make
- too intelligent to be submissive
- is really a closet Domme
are making rules about what they think should be instead of living with reality.

PrecorX​(sub female) • Nov 20, 2021

You are fortunate to not have seen these comments.

“Boss Lady” and women wanting to be men was pulled from a recent forum thread. The other comments were pulled from unsolicited comments in private messages.

I agree with your statement that a real man, who is self assured and confident cares not these things. Instead he is secure, unthreatened and appreciates the submission of such a woman.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 21, 2021

Hey Precor,

I'm sorry to drop in late on your post. In this modern world a woman can do it all. Be a strong, aggressive, take no prisoners boss lady! And yet be the softest, sweetest, most loving sub to her Dom. We learn how to separate this from that.

Many men are the super alpha at work but want to be dominated by a woman at home. That's not how I roll but it's all about balance and what makes you happy and fulfilled. I got no problem with it.

I did lash out at Butterflies in the other post (apologies Butterflies). But I was just giving the energy that was given to me. But truly I feel a woman can be both boss and sub with style and grace.

Lastly, allow me to publicly say that I appreciate you for reaching out to me personally. You actually took the time to find out why I came to the conclusions that I did. And I apologize if I offended you in any way. Things got testy. From our brief discussions though, I think you're a wonderful woman, BOSS LADY. Keep doin what ya doin.

Love This!

Noire{Owned (NH)} • Nov 22, 2021

This topic has intrigued me! So I wanted to hop on in and give my own input.
Personally, I am a business owner and I would fall under this category of a “boss lady.”
However my characteristics differ only slightly. I resonate within both my masculine and feminine energy. While at work my masculine or alpha energy is full throttle. Conducting my business with efficiency brings me pride and I relish in a job well done.

But once I’m out of work. My switch flips back to femininity. My natural resting place. I am a soft woman with a nurturing energy. So being a submissive organically comes to me with little effort. Also it’s lovely having a dominant energy calming me back into my feminine rest.

In my dating or vetting life I’m pleased to say. I haven’t attracted men to me who’ve seen my success as a threat. Or see my financial earnings as a means to emasculate them. Maybe that’s just my luck. But I’m a firm believer that if a man feels emasculated by his spouses wages being more then his own.

He is not the man for me, simply.
Because the kind of person I want, will congratulate me on my success. But also use me as their inspiration to want more for themselves vice versa. So that together we may evolve and better each other.