Just me

You stand off looking in the distance

I whisper behind you

You keep looking out searching

I stand next to you

Your squint your eyes to see further

I grab your hand

You search the horizon

"What are you looking for" I whisper

You raise your hand to cover your brow

I wait for your answer.

You continue to search in silence

I start to look as well

Moments of pondering what it is your looking for

Getting lost in the search I forget the moment

I stare out long and hard looking for what, I do not know

There are no answers there but I continue to look

You start to come back to the now

I stare harder at the horizon

You step away from me closer to the edge

I stand still and watch

You look out again and turn towards me

I wait and watch wondering when you will see me

You slowly raise your gaze to meet mine

I hold my breath

Your eyes look at me

I wonder do you see me

Are you here in the now

Do I need to watch you live in the future

Are you willing to step back to me

Has the desire of possibilities taken you from me

Something in me snaps and I see you

I meet your eyes and wonder do you see me

Are you willing to be here with me I think

If I take the leap will you go with me

Your gaze keeps its hold on me

I ask what it is you want

You turn your head back to look out into the nothing

I sigh and turn to walk back to the forrest to hide

You stay rooted where you are staring out.

My sadness turns to anger and I turn around

Your back is to me looking out again

I yell at you "if you wont see me I will make you"

You make no move

"Your looking for answers that cant be found

You want the solution instead of the moment

You tell me I deserve more

Your right I do

I deserve to be a part of it

I deserve to have you in the moment with me

I deserve to know your feelings

I deserve to be believed when I say I'm happy

I deserve to not feel bad when a situation scares me

I deserve to be able to love you and live my part of us how I want.

You deserve all of me not something I hold back

You deserve to have short term goals with me

You deserve to dream a little

You deserve happiness

You deserve to desire and want

You deserve someone willing to give you everything

I deserve all of you not just a little bit of you. "

You remain with your back to me

Tears start to fall as I say

"I know what I'm getting into

I know what I have to offer

If you dont want what I am willing to give

You have to say

I dont need anything more than you

I want to cross the bridges we will come to

Together hand in hand

I dont want you to try and figure it out

I dont want to cause you stress

I can turn and walk back behind my wall of trees where no one sees me...."

Your body twitches, you have heard me

I take a deep breath

I run to the cliff and jump

I have faith in us I know I wont fall

Will you see me and jump

Or are you going to keep looking so far out.

I took a much needed break but still continued to read blogs. So many emotions are played out  here in our words. 

I wanted to respond to some but really didnt want to be online. Still not sure if I do. 

This past week was a challenge for me in so many ways. I let my littles go away with their other parent (still not easy) I had major challenges at work, friendships were tested in my real world and I learned to survive and focus again. 

I have missed writing but have continued to do so in my nightly journal to Sir. This life is hard enough without some of the doubt and insecurities others can implant in your head. I took my walls down for him and spent this week building some up to protect us. 

I will stand up for what I believe in and support him in every way. I will defend my friends and encourage them always. I have my issues and will stumble and fall but I wont ever give up on those I love and adore.

This week I start some changes to be a better me, I am going to try to write more here. My journey maybe mine but others can relate. I want to be the encouragement for someone who may be as shy as I am or as confused as I was when I first came here. 

Never loose sight of who you are in all the chaos around you. You are strong and can make it in even the darkest waters. 

To my Sir no matter what I stand beside you and support you! You deserve the world and I cant wait to watch you take it. 

Happy blogging cagers. 

J

I still am still on a break but Sir asked me to post this. The finish of his Christmas gift. This was a fun story to write with him and I am hoping to write more with him. 

So without further delay here is my last part of the Chase.....

 
Her whole body was shaking as she felt his hand wrap in her hair grabbing the long curls. Her head pulled up to see the wolf's face right in front of her. Those long fangs and saliva dripping. She tried to swallow but couldnt the fear stuck in her throat. She heard the growl and the wolf backed away, sniffing her as the wolf moved. She could feel the hot puffs of air on her skin causing her flesh to crawl. "Oh god!  It's going to bite me!" Was all she could think.  

She felt a rough tongue slide up her hip and she closed her eyes.  "This is it" she thought, "I won’t ever get to see his beautiful face looking at me again."  And then nothing.  

As the thought played in her mind, she felt her head pulling her up on her knees and turning around. Opening her eyes she saw him. Relief filled her and she opened her mouth to say thank you but it was quickly filled with his cock, so fast that she gagged. 

Feeling his soft skin slide in between her lips to her throat, she relaxed and moaned. She would show him how grateful she was by accepting him. Adrenaline coursing through her, she slid her mouth up and down his cock, letting her tounge flick as she did. He was so hard and tasted so good. She could feel his cock pulse between her lips and knew he was reaching this edge.

He pulled himself away from her and yanked her up. No words were exchanged but the hunger in his eyes spoke volumes. He walked her backwards and her body slammed into a tree, the rough bark against her back, the smell of the forest all around. He grabbed her leg, lifting and opening her, and she held around his waist. Her pussy was dripping for him. He leaned over her and kissed her neck, the head of his cock right at her entrance. Biting down he thrust into her. One push and he was all the way in, grinding her soft ass against the rough bark of the tree.
Together they let out a low moan. Her hands finding his shoulders holding on to him. He started his assault on her, thrusting in and out hard and fast while her back rubbed against the bark. Her hands dug into his shoulders as he claimed what was his. She opened her eyes and saw the pack watching them. She grinned and moaned louder at the primal audience. Her body giving into him and right on the edge; she was so close she begged "Please Master, may I cum?" He grunted and pushed in one last time before he pulled out.
 
He pushed her to her knees and stuck his cock back into her mouth. Groaning she cleaned his cock off, loving the taste of them mixed together. His movements were slower and longer. He held in the back of her throat till she almost couldn't breathe. He pulled out again leaving her feeling the loss. She looked up at him knowing what he wanted. 

She got on all fours presenting her ass for him. She heard him growl and knew she had pleased him. He warned "you unleashed the beast.  I won’t be slow or gentle.  I'm taking what's mine!" She whimpered knowing what he was going to do. 

He took his fingers and slide them into her pussy, taking her essence and wiping it up to her bud. His hands finding her hips, he positioned himself behind her. His cock outside of her and just as he promised, he was not slow. In one violent move he penetrated her deep. Throwing her head back, she yelled out as she felt his fingers slip into her pussy and then a thumb on her clit. As his cock tore into her ass, his fingers played, bringing her closer and closer to the edge.

He continued to move, pushing her quickly beyond the edge. She struggled to keep it in, begging again for release, but only to hear the gruff voice growl,  "No." 
She whimpered and focused on the dirt digging into her skin; the pain and burn on her back from the bite of the tree bark. He kept moving, thrusting in and out.  She felt him swelling and again begged, "Please my Master!  I cant hold back." 

She felt him increase his pace, his cock pounding her as her breaths came in gasps. He slammed into her ass one last, deep time and he growled "Now!"  Her body responded and released as she wracked in a body clenching orgasm that refused to stop. She screamed, only to be drowned out by the roar behind her. She felt His cock pulsing, so hard and deep, and then the release within her.  One of his hands gripped her hip mercilessly while the other continued working her pussy and clit, demanding her orgasm to continue. She felt her self start to drift, the orgasm taking her higher. 

They collapsed on the ground, his body covering hers. Their breathing rough and ragged, yet slowing and fading, becoming one.  As her body calms from the adrenaline, excitement and fear she feels herself fading.  

She blinks her eyes open, sees his face and knows she’s wrapped in his arms.  She feels him stand and lift her in his arms, moving through the forest. When she comes to again they are sitting in a warm bath as he washes her rash from the tree, caring for all the scrapes and cuts she earned on the chase. When she is clean he helps her out of the tub and wraps her in a big towel. He guides her to the living room where they curl together on the couch in front of the fire. 

His hand slips under the pillow.  He laughs as he glances down upon her, "Kitten, you thought of everything didn’t you?" She returned his look and saw the keys dangling above her head. She giggled and shakes her ankle in response, the slave bell makes it's beautiful sound.  "So did you Daddy." 

He kisses her on the head and tells her "Thank you for an amazing hunt." 

She smiled in return and in her head began to plan the next Chase...
 

So after some serious crap at the end of last year and some issues with my blog now I think I may step away for a bit. 

 The end of last year was a roller coaster to say the least. There was someone I had to block after a bit of a heated ending because I know MY temper. I didnt want to say things worse than I already had.  The Need to not express my wrath needed to be the priority. 

I live with my heart on my shoulder and give my all. I failed here. I didnt trust and I hurt another human. As my happiness grew this other started to lash out. It hurt and hurt bad but I deserved every bit of it. I let it get to me and the anger grew again. 

I tried to not pay attention but that didnt work. Now I see he has found happiness and I am genuinely happy for him. I want him to feel complete. He changed himself to wash away things and I get that so well done! 

Anyway I wrote a blog entitled the zoo and apparently once again people thought it was aimed at them. I was actually jumping on the animal band wagon. I used a lot of animals in my blog. Anyway apparently what I was talking about took on a life of it's own. I will defend my friends but this really had nothing to do with that. It was more about the end of my last year. (Okay and defending my friend)

Anyone who knows me knows damn well I am the typo queen. I do all this on my phone and never stop to check because most times I'll delete what I have to say because I second guess it. Again this had nothing to do with anyone but me and my own fault. 

Somewhere in all this crazy I found my complete self. He compliments me in so many ways. I fear I will self destruct here too. 

So to those of you that suffered at my hand I'm sorry  To those of you who thought it was about you maybe you need to check something inside your bubble because it's not always about you or me or them sometimes its about something else. 

To my friends you know where I am or how to get ahold of me. I'm not leaving cage and if Sir asks me to blog of course I will but for now I need to take a step back and just be the best me for him.

Thank you Sir for being amazing. 

Always your J

Geez all these blogs about animals and reptiles.

Well heres my addition. 

Have you ever noticed bugs. They are annoying little pests that keep buzzing around and wont stop. Easily killed with a stomp of a foot. The better person sends them away with a swoosh of a hand letting them live their little buggy lives. 

People here change their names, deleted information in their profile try to run and hide behind a fake newness. Well guess what you will still be you. Your true colors will shine through and you cant hide. Not only do you out yourself acting the same way, cage has a way of showing who's who still. 

You can be a snake in the grass, a lemming following others, a condor loyal to one, a wolf in the pack, a lioness in her pride, a kitten, really any animal metaphor you want, but let's not forget a leopard never changes his spots. 

Just be you, worry about your own. Be unique like a zebra and wear your own stripes! Let others live how they want and enjoy the day. 

Now back to my Lycan and being wrapped up in him....

Have a great weekend cagers! 

So my crazy self thought it would be fun to have LL post my part and vise versa. Well when I realized I cant comment on my own words I didnt like it. So the story continues and the right authors will post their parrs...  the chase continues....

       She stripped off her dress under the sails and left it there.  She crawled out knowing the chair would give her away.  Moving slowly so the bell wouldn't make a noise knowing he was close she had to be extra careful.  Going to the back of the boat and slipping into the water. She went under the doors, swimming as fast as she could underwater with her single breath.

      She came up slowly trying to not make a sound. Seeing she was quite a bit away from the house she watched him.  He was naked, Every muscle showing as he approved the boat house. Treding water she stared and his beautiful figure the want to be caught almost made her forget why she was doing this.  He moved swiftly and went in through the window. A huge smile across her face she took deep breath and started to swim again.  She may not have been able to get to the cave on foot but she could get closer swimming.

       She swam and swam until she saw the trees lining the area just before the cave.  She looked for him but didnt see him.  Creeping out of the water waking towards the trees, looking around she took off running.  To the trees where she could hide and work her way to the cave. He would track her she was sure of it it was in his nature to get what he wanted.  She kept looking and listening for him and the stupid bell kept making noise she turned to her right to see if he was coming and tripped. 

      She landed hard right outside of the cave.  She heard the low growl before she looked up.  Slowly she raised her eyes and saw the pack.  They were all looking at her.  Surrounding their fresh kill and letting her know she wasnt welcome.  She lowered her eyes and made sure she was smaller than they were.  An act of submission to the beasts.  She scolded herself in her head forgetting how he had warned her of the pack in their woods.  She backed away slowly watching them hoping they would she she was no threat.  Their low growls turned into yips and then ontop of the hill one started to howl.  The pack followed suite.

      Her heart beat pounded in her ears fear taking hold.  She knew when they did this they were getting ready to strike. It wasnt the ones she could see that she feared but the ones lurking in the shadows.  They were the ones that would make the kill.  She tried to calm herself her whole body shaking from fear.  Her only thought was to get away.  She inched back further and that's when she heard the branches breaking behind her and the pack started to howl and yip in a frenzy.  She laid flat to the ground and started to cry.  She waited for the one behind her to strike.  Praying it would be quick hoping he wouldnt see them ending her.  She closed her eyes and thought of his beautiful face, his loving hands his hunger... then she felt something touch her back and she froze. Whispering I'm sorry sir...

Laying here in the dark

Eyes swollen from lack of sleep and tears

A shiver runs over my body

The way this man still plays my head

Can get in and make me feel worthless

Strip me of the power and courage

Smash me under his boot.

I show him no weakness

Most times I pass it off and move on

Then the night comes

It takes a lot to quiet my mind on these days

Then my eyes grow heavy

My chaotic mind takes over

The dark reaches up grabs hold

Pulls me under fast.

Visions of my littles

Him holding them from me

Laughing as my sweet E cries for me

He refuses to let her come to me

He laughs and holds them in his grip

E cries harder and A holds on to her

Reminding her that i love her.

M hits and fights to get to me

I watch it all play out

Stuck unable to move

My feet cemented to the ground

I cant touch them

I cant comfort her

I cant breathe

He scoops them up and runs further away

I hear E screaming for me

Her cries growing faint

My world taken

A blow to the gut I cant breathe

His laugh still present

His beady eyes still seared in my mind

The look of satisfaction at my pain as he runs away.

I fall to the ground cant breathe

Cant stop my heart from racing

I hear the sweetest sound

"Mommy" and I bolt.up

Breathing rapidly I realize I am in bed

My son is talking in his sleep

If he hadn't said my name

How far would I have sunk.

I will be the good girl behind the wall

I will not let them see the anxiety

That is brewing for the next week to come

I will show no fear as I build this wall

Strong and mighty because behind it

The most precious gift waits

And it depends on me to keep them safe.

Next week my littles leave me for 4 extra days to be with their dad. I am freaking out. I want them to spend time with him and it gives me a break but the amount of threats hes given me about disappearing with them so he doesnt have to pay guts me as you can see. My little E is a mommas girl and has a hard enough time with one night. This is going to kill her. Her sister protects her and my M hes the fighter. Gonna be a long few days for us. Got my game face on and always the encouraging mom. There last 2 days home with me will be great! 

2733 miles between us each mile is part of our journey. It represents what were willing to do, what were willing to work at. Some see distance as what separates them, for me its a number that gives us time to grow. To figure out our next steps.

How long will it take to make that trip
Planes and cars may bring us closer
But to truly travel that distance we have to take the time to walk each mile.
Learn eachother, grow together, support one another, learn to love, and learn to trust.
Every day brings us closer and I'm so thankful for this.

Barely a month ago we started this, my submission was yours, we started to close the distance between us and continue to do so at our pace. 2733 miles may physically be between us but nothing worth having comes easily. I am 100% willing to put in the work to make your days brighter and to make you happy.

So to me 2733 is not a huge number to be separated by when I'm willing to walk to the ends of the earth to learn all about you and to be with you.

He came home from his hunt, scratched and worn.  He hunted with only a blade and his skills and had taken down a large buck.  Never one to waste, he had insured a den of wolves took the remains of his kill while he took the choice cuts such as backstrap, loin and a large haunch.  

The haunch of meat he had carried slung over his shoulder through the woods took an effort to skin and salt in the shelter behind his cabin.  The salt would draw the meat’s natural juices to the surface, where the salt would dissolve into brine that would coat the surface and eventually be reabsorbed into the meat itself.  Once salted, he hung the haunch up from a hook dangling from the overhead beams. 

The loin and backstrap he carried into the main cabin, where he found his home well maintained, clean and precise.  In the far corner, he saw her, kneeling with her eyes down, wearing only the light summer dress he had approved for the day.  He knew she wore no other clothing.

He took a moment to walk into the kitchen, where he placed the backstrap and loin in the sink, wrapped in the leather he had brought them in.  Returning to the large room, he walked to her, looking down upon her. Something was off.  He felt her excitement, although nothing in her person gave away her mood.  It was simply a feeling.  A hunter knows.

Kneeling down, he pulled the anklet with bell from his pocket.  He knew she smelled his sweat and the smell of his kill as well as the undertones of earth and nature.  He always smelled strong after a hunt, and he knew it affected her.  Attaching the chain to her ankle, he smiled, locking it in place. Once in place, he flicked the small bell, and the locking slave bell jingled with a high sweet tone.  
“Now, I’ll know where you are always.”  He laughed. 
Standing, he turned walked heavily across the floor towards the shower, stripping as he went.  He knew she would pick up his clothing and gather them for wash later.  When he was done with his shower, he would need to release his desires in her, completely. The hunt always brought out the beast in him.

He had barely allowed the hot water to course over his head and shoulders when he felt the shift in air and pressure.  He froze, listening.  For a brief moment, he felt the air stir and knew the door had opened.  He listened intently, his senses passing beyond the sound of water splashing down around his body.  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Including the little bell that should have been ringing as she gathered his clothing.

He grinned.  She had taken his challenge issued so many weeks ago.  He was giving him a chase!

He moves through the house, not bothering to cloth himself or even shut off the shower.  A massive grin across his face, he howls as he hurls the door open and steps into the wild.

Roaring to the night, he gives chase, padding across the earth in bare feet.  He can see her small prints and follows:  an overturned rock here, a snapped twig there, a scrap of torn summer dress.  Her stride is long and even as she is racing full speed through the brush and trees. She is giving him a great chase.

In mid woods, her path suddenly shifts and her trail turns towards his boathouse.  He followed, turning as her footprints continued to lead the way.  Calling out in a deep roar, he announced her name and threatened what he would do to her. 

Approaching the boathouse, he slows.  The front door remained locked, yet he sees a chair near a window and realizes the screen has been pulled.  Listening intently, he hears just the faint tingle of a bell, muffled.  His savage grin broadens.  Following to the window, he launches himself from the chair through the windowsill shattering the glass and rolls into the room, coming through a summersault to a crouched position, his eyes scanning the room.

Across the room, he saw the pile of sails and sniffed at the air.  And then, just barely, a small hem of dress.  He grinned, and stalked across the wooden floor of the boathouse.  He felt his arousal, hard and ready to claim all of his prize.

So sometimes being so far apart makes exchanging gifts almost impossible. I did what I know he likes and what I do best, I wrote. So yes to those of you who follow our writings another story is on the way.  I asked him to post my side up and I would post his to try and change things up he told me to post both sides. Well I think he did I'm a bit confused. Anyway I am not posting because I want to clear this up a bit and I also am working on another part. 

Today he gave me a gift better than any possession. He gave me his beautiful words. He rendered me speechless and left me grinning like a fool. I have never had someone check off every box for me but Sir does that and even more. I am a lucky girl.

So for today this is the blog I choose to post and maybe tomorrow the chase will start. 

As always Sir thank you for being my inspiration. ??