Pheonix J(sub female)

Just me

My journey is a road I travel most of the time with friends by my side. Some days I walk alone, others I hold someone's hand. This is my journey on cage. If you really want to know about me go back 2 years ago to my first blog. Enjoy

Taking a break

4 years ago. January 7, 2020 at 1:02 AM

So after some serious crap at the end of last year and some issues with my blog now I think I may step away for a bit.

The end of last year was a roller coaster to say the least. There was someone I had to block after a bit of a heated ending because I know MY temper. I didnt want to say things worse than I already had. The Need to not express my wrath needed to be the priority.

I live with my heart on my shoulder and give my all. I failed here. I didnt trust and I hurt another human. As my happiness grew this other started to lash out. It hurt and hurt bad but I deserved every bit of it. I let it get to me and the anger grew again.

I tried to not pay attention but that didnt work. Now I see he has found happiness and I am genuinely happy for him. I want him to feel complete. He changed himself to wash away things and I get that so well done!

Anyway I wrote a blog entitled the zoo and apparently once again people thought it was aimed at them. I was actually jumping on the animal band wagon. I used a lot of animals in my blog. Anyway apparently what I was talking about took on a life of it's own. I will defend my friends but this really had nothing to do with that. It was more about the end of my last year. (Okay and defending my friend)

Anyone who knows me knows damn well I am the typo queen. I do all this on my phone and never stop to check because most times I'll delete what I have to say because I second guess it. Again this had nothing to do with anyone but me and my own fault.

Somewhere in all this crazy I found my complete self. He compliments me in so many ways. I fear I will self destruct here too.

So to those of you that suffered at my hand I'm sorry To those of you who thought it was about you maybe you need to check something inside your bubble because it's not always about you or me or them sometimes its about something else.

To my friends you know where I am or how to get ahold of me. I'm not leaving cage and if Sir asks me to blog of course I will but for now I need to take a step back and just be the best me for him.

Thank you Sir for being amazing.

Always your J

CrimsonRose - PJ you are not responsible for how others interpreted your words. You know what is in your heart. There will always be those who take things and twist them to fit their own story line. If you need to step back from the drama then do so but know that your blogs will be missed. Hugs and Love TX

4 years ago

Gelsemium(sub female) - It’s the internet, lol who cares what others outside of your friends circle think. Do you!

4 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - You be YOU!! No need to apologize, or leave... FUCK... You are a great writer and bring to the Cage your talent where I believe most resonate with your writing and love it and will miss it!!

Fuck the past, again, it's already forgot you.... Do NOT let it seep in... It's venomous if you do... Just be You!!! We can't control tomorrow or change the past.. so live in the today!!

You have some hard days coming up (Dreamons), so, don't walk away from the community who will support you! Know that, hold on to that, and all the other bullshit? Inhale the good shit... Exhale the bullshit!!

Hoping you change your mind, however, it's understandable if you don't! Just know your loved here and the community will always be there for you!!

Much love and peace to you e❤️❤️❤️

4 years ago

ulfhednar - As Gelsemium stated its the net over the years ive learned two things one sites and games have this glorius thing called a block/mute button took me years to understand and be confidant enough to learn not everyone can be saved helped and you cant hope for everyone to come around and understand you its just not worth the frustration you only wind up self sbattoging your life no one elses accept the ones who have a potential to be real with you with that said point and life lesson number two which pertains to reality humans created this thing called a side walk ive learned that if someone doesnt like me or accept me for who i am how i am this wonderful creation goes in two directions sometimes 4 we can each pick a direction and be on our merry take the time you need to defuse you will be missed aye but remember you have control always over who you let in and who you keep around also you should never really worry about someone getting butthurt over what you say for actions will always speak louder then words and no one who is being real with another person ever deserves any form hostile graces or actions just my thoughts

4 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Oh my geez yall! Making me tear up! I'm not leaving just taking a break.

Red thank you for your kind words as always. I just need a moment to get my footing and be me in my blogs.

Gels: I only care about my circle but I hate hurting people even if it is only the internet

Morley: omg I just cant even! Today is day one and I'm already feing it. Part if why I am stepping back for a few. Letting them go is so hard. I so appreciate this community and the support and knowing me it will only be for 24 hours or less. As you said I have to take that moment to breathe out the bs. Tomorrow I gain a little normalcy as Sir is back to his normal so hopefully that will help. Thank you

Poofey; your words always get me. Thank you for being you and always on my side.

Dont worry just breathing as Morley said and finding my center. This week is going to be very hard but I do know my circle is there.
Much love 💜

4 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - ❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️

4 years ago

RopeBunnie(sub female){Not Lookin} - As I say, "if the shoe fits" Because I used to be careful what I posted on social media (not here, because I haven't posted much here) but places like Facebook.... Then I decided, why should I be careful because someone MIGHT get hurt feelings or be offended? If they're hurt or offended, then there's something they need to reflect on about themselves. Sometimes you just post something because it's funny or resonates within you and has absolutely nothing to do with someone else! But, if they think it's about them, then it's an issue THEY have, not YOU. Don't stop because someone gets butt hurt. Your blogs are great! 🥰

4 years ago

HGB(sub female){Scottish M} - You know how I feel about you. You take care of yourself. Always here for you. Hugs.

4 years ago

ulfhednar - Butt hurt ha get em a band aid and a box of depends so there can always be a moment of depends on what they are butt hurt about haha 😝

4 years ago

Ingénue{VK} - Enjoy your break and hoping you return refreshed.

4 years ago

SSG{ENM-TLP} - I took several weeks away and it was good. I came back with a purpose and a vision of what I want from The Cage. It makes all the difference. Enjoy your time of recharging.

4 years ago

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Pheonix J​(sub female)

Just me

Taking a break

Pheonix J(sub female)