Just me

Laying in the dark and cold alone
Waiting to hear from him
A message
A voice
The fear creeps in
The anxiety rises
I pull the blankets closer to my face
Wrap a little tighter
Tears prick the corners of my eyes
As sleep starts to grab hold
Sleep comes with the demons right behind
Many nightmares sleep isnt a safe place
I wake before everyone else in the house
I listen to the even breathing of my littles
I feel their peace and joy
Their sound calms my rapid heartbeat
I am their safety
When they are close to me they sleep without a fear
They dream of delightful things while I take all the bad away.
How can I be the strength for them
How can I be their rock
When mentally I am scared to be anything
Physically I am exhausted
And emotionally I am drained
Its what makes me the fighter I am
Makes me put up the facade
I have to be the powerful one for them
When all I really want
Laying in the darkness and cold alone
Is to feel his arms around me and to whisper in my ear, your safe with me and I've got you...