Pheonix J(sub female)

Just me

My journey is a road I travel most of the time with friends by my side. Some days I walk alone, others I hold someone's hand. This is my journey on cage. If you really want to know about me go back 2 years ago to my first blog. Enjoy

Just a thought

5 years ago. November 2, 2019 at 1:10 PM

Laying in the dark and cold alone
Waiting to hear from him
A message
A voice
The fear creeps in
The anxiety rises
I pull the blankets closer to my face
Wrap a little tighter
Tears prick the corners of my eyes
As sleep starts to grab hold
Sleep comes with the demons right behind
Many nightmares sleep isnt a safe place
I wake before everyone else in the house
I listen to the even breathing of my littles
I feel their peace and joy
Their sound calms my rapid heartbeat
I am their safety
When they are close to me they sleep without a fear
They dream of delightful things while I take all the bad away.
How can I be the strength for them
How can I be their rock
When mentally I am scared to be anything
Physically I am exhausted
And emotionally I am drained
Its what makes me the fighter I am
Makes me put up the facade
I have to be the powerful one for them
When all I really want
Laying in the darkness and cold alone
Is to feel his arms around me and to whisper in my ear, your safe with me and I've got you...

TreasureMe(sub female){Consumed} - Damn...I felt this 💔 Very well written though. So powerful.

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Thanks T. It's crazy how I can do my best writing when I'm so exhausted and sleep deprived..
Work is taking its tole on me but have to keep going

5 years ago

TreasureMe(sub female){Consumed} - Im the same way. The stress and exhaustion leave only the rawness to write from. Its very bittersweet.

5 years ago

SeekingOne(dom male){Taken} - Your words always touch me. I can feel all your raw emotion in your post. Be strong for the little ones. When the time is right you will have that soft spot to land and you will be safe too!! ❤️

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Thank you NH, I try to be as open as possible here. It's one way I have learned to let the stress fall off. My writing is my escape.

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Your pain jumped off the page into my heart. This was a very powerful, and heart wrenching read. I am sure, one day, you will find the peace you are looking for.
P.S
A mothers love is more powerful than any other. Its this love that will keep your little ones safe. one day find peace in the arms of another.

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Thank you WW they are the fire in me. If it wasnt for them the shadows would have swallowed me a long time ago.

5 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - WOW!!! This is just so powerful and raw and hits my heart.... sending you much love and peace! ❤️❤️❤️

5 years ago

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Pheonix J​(sub female)

Just me

Just a thought

Pheonix J(sub female)