Just me

Today I read an interesting blog and it got me thinking. Of course when I go into my own thoughts it will for sure pin point who the author of the other blog is.
In this journey I have searched and read and read more. I have had discussions with many on who and why I am me and why I see myself as a sub. I'd have to say it wasnt until recently that I fully understood myself.
In talking with Doms and hearing things they like for their subs to do I started to see I have always been a submissive in my relationships just never knew it. I have read some of the gor books I have spoken with some of the old guard and when I was told in the past that I am a 40's type of woman I never understood. I do now. I always felt my place was beside my man but that his word was final. I have always walked a little behind and let him guide me. I trusted until it wasnt deserved and loved endlessly. I know that some will say some of my relationships were on a fine line of mental or verbal abuse but I never saw that. I was seen as weak by other women as a push over but I felt that this was who I was.
So flash forward to my learning I figured out it was the submissive inside me who would do whatever it took to make my man happy. Yes I know then it was not good because the man didnt realize what a gift he had.
My life has taught and reaffirmed who I am. My submission wasnt just a choice I made it is who I am in my core. I am a fiercely strong woman at work, I am a killer momma bear who protects her kids but I also am a woman wo needs a stronger man to guide and protect her.
My Alpha side doesnt make me a bad submissive, my submissive side doesnt make me weak or a door mat, together they make ME! I am everything I need to be for those I love and care for.
I know this kinda got off point and I'm not sure if it makes sense at this point but dealing with my day to day right now has my head spinning. So I guess I'll end with this, I am me take it or leave it, I am a small piece of every title a sub has, I am someone who knows what I want and will work my ass off to get it, I am emotional, wear my heart on my sleeve and give my all to those around me. I am proud to say I am a submissive and to me that one word is the umbrella for all the other titles we have here.
Okay off to crash for the night so I can fight the war tomorrow. Day what ever and were still COVID free! Woo hoo! Some how my Alpha side has kept 200 employees and 130 patients safe even when I'm taking major hits about my character. (Sometimes the hits make me laugh others is when I want to be the sub and just let go with my other person)
Happy hump day cagers
💜Phe💜