evergrey(sub female){Ashigeru}

Ev's kink corner

I've been around a few decades, and have a bit to say. I'm not going to call myself an expert, but I'm happy to share my thoughts on BDSM.

Losing my home, but maybe gaining a life.

4 years ago. March 27, 2020 at 1:38 PM

I am devastated.

I am also a little excited.

See, we are losing our home, and we have, unfortunately, come to the conclusion that despite our best efforts, we cannot possibly afford to remain in the bay area.

I love it here. This is my home. I have lived here my entire adult life. I have numerous communities here. I have beloved friends, chosen family, lovers, and an amazing tea ceremony mentor here. I love the culture. I love the food. I love Wicked Grounds, I love our scene, I love the redwoods, and I love Stanford hospital. I get the medications I need, here.

It's gonna really hurt, and I'm scared that things won't work out wherever we move to. I'm worried that we won't fit in. I'm worried that I will be lonely and sad.

However!

We are looking at Syracuse, NY. The housing there is so cheap compared to here that we could finally afford a house that we wouldn't have to share with housemates. We could live our lifestyle full time, if we wanted. We wouldn't have to live in fear of losing out home at any moment. We could maybe even save money. Buy some nice furniture. Have enough room in the fridge, at last. Bring out the nice cooking supplies and dishware. Have a LIVING ROOM. Not be pressed in on all sides by too many people sharing too little space.

We could host play parties, if we made good connections in the local kink community. We could exercise in a real back yard! My autoimmune disease is still here, and that would be a long trip to a qualified hospital, but on the plus side, NYC is a little over 4 hours away, so we'd get to visit that at least a few times a year, and I do have a number of friends there.

There is someone there. I really, really, really hope things work out with him, too. I'm feeling pretty gun-shy. I've had my trust betrayed a lot. I've been ghosted a lot. I've had people talk a big talk and then drop me after playing with me once. I've had a lot of people promise one thing and deliver another, but... if it works out with this guy, then I will be a very happy sub, I think.

I want to be able to be the creature that I really am, as much of the time as possible.

So.

Since the bay area is now actively hostile to the poor and disabled, since we don't make six figures and are no longer welcome here, we will forge ahead and try to build a new life for ourselves.

Here's to a future that moves beyond surviving to actually living, and thriving!

If, that is, we survive the pandemic.

Bunnie - Good luck to you both! Change sometimes may come unexpectedly... but sometimes that’s just what we need. Those are some very good positives!
*Big hugs*

4 years ago

Satindragon{Not Lookin} - I agree with Bunnie. Change can be good

4 years ago

T slave(sub female){Owned} - Agreed on housing prices, sometimes you just have to look forward at the adventures yet to come and i think you have a good positive outlook! I imagine the dramatic weather change may be the hardest part.

Master and I moved from So.Florida after 30 years to the midwest and there was an adjustment period!

Best Wishes!

4 years ago

HGB(sub female){Scottish M} - So many beautiful things and people in the bay but there are beautiful people and beautiful places all over the world. Hope you find an amazing place to land. Change can be very scary, but it can be so good too.

4 years ago

SSG{ENM-TLP} - There are so many places in the US to offer you whatever your heart desires. My personal advice is to take a breath, do some research on which state offers the best services given your specific set of needs, the best weather for your condition, a great kink community, and move based on YOU and not a person. If it doesn't work out (and we know that so many times they work for a moment but not forever), you will still be happy with where you are and have a lot to offer yourself. Just my two cents. Take care of you.

4 years ago

evergrey(sub female){Ashigeru} - Yes, absolutely! Upstate NY was one of the places I was considering quite a while ago. I would love to live along the coast in Washington, but it is already too expensive for us, and we expect it to get even worse as time goes by. We are looking at the move as though things will not work out with that person, because it's almost never a good idea to move for a person.

4 years ago

SchrodingersDinosaur(switch female){N/a} - I totally understand how hard the decision to leave the left coast can be, I've gone back and forth more than a few times in my life. Unfortunately the downsides that you mentioned are sometimes insurmountable. It's great to hear that you have a potential direction and I don't mean to piss on your plans but have you considered that the bitter cold may affect your conditions, Evergrey? I know the Bay Area can get pretty chilly but upstate NY is no joke. I suffer from some of the same issues you do and bitter cold affects my quality of life too much to be reasonable. Better chance than not that I'll be confined south of the Mason Dixon for the remainder of my days, short of the occasional short northern excursion to visit friends and family. Sending positive intentions to you for upcoming Life changes and it's nice to see you pop in once in awhile! - Henna

4 years ago

evergrey(sub female){Ashigeru} - Oh yes, I have considered the cold! One of the bigger downsides. It'll suck for my joints, but it's heat that causes my t-cells to attack my own body!

4 years ago

MissBonnie(dom female){oz} - Home is where the heart is, not where you keep your things. Best wishes for the move

4 years ago

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evergrey​(sub female){Ashigeru}

Ev's kink corner

Losing my home, but maybe gaining a life.

evergrey(sub female){Ashigeru}