Rolled for seduction, Now what?

So We tried another tie today. Unfornetly the wax did not go according to plan. The wich went out and we didn't realize it. But we did a simple wrist wrap which turned out to be a little fun. Kitten complained that it was a bit lose and I did probably add one extra wrap more than was needed. But I was being cautious. I worry about her and didn't want it to be too tight. but now we know. I find I enjoy the concentration and the fact that shibari makes me slow down and I can concentrate on it. I look forward to tomorrow where we are going to try a series of more complex ties including a harness! It's a little shorter tonight but kitten did give me permission to upload a photo of her (well her wrist) all tied up!

So I have a score on my Kink inventory that is 99% Primal (Hunter) and that's awesome from the minor description I vibe with but... I'm still confused. Maybe my reading comprehension is not quite up to snuff with the stress of quarantine and all that. But I read that and think Garruk and then what class would a primal hunter be. hey, it's not my fault I just got invited to my first game in forever let alone as a player and not DM. but I'm pretty sure that's not the dungeon anyone is here to talk about. I'm sure I can google more and I plan to. But not yet, not until after this blog. because That's one of the things I love about kink is that by going back and reviewing just out of boredom and looking for inspiration I find something new to explore. And so I shall. And I will report in. Like how I hope by this time tomorrow I will be updating on getting a little tied up and maybe some wax. Others keep exploring, keep having kinky fun and stay say out there. I also plan to try and update daily again. Even if it is just a bit of a blurb like this. 

So it finally came! the shibari rope and the wax! and the wax was kind of a bust. Mostly due to user error and some poor timing on my part. But hey there's always next time. The rope, however, was amazing. Kitten absolutely loved it. Mind you we started out simple and only did a basic wrist restraint but it was still a blast. However after that simple tie and flipping through that book I think I found my BDSM prestige class. This is one thing I would really like to become more talented at.

Something about the beauty of the ropes against her skin and the complexity of the knots and the ties. Something to think about. and the more talented I get the more I want to expand into suspension. It was one of those moments in life that just seemed to vibe and felt right. And I think I want to prestige into ropes. And my little rope bunny, (Rope kitten?) Seems to very much enjoy my new found excitement. 

So it was only a matter of time. The themes of the blogs are meeting, and I have no other inspiration. It's time to talk about a kink based TTRPG. I like to think that I am creative enough to make a new ttrpg game and the number of interesting, fun creative unfinished projects shows that to be true. It's when you get to the nitty-gritty details, you know like the rules that run a system my ideas break down. However, for a while, I've been thinking it would be really fun to run a kink themed game. And the nice thing is, no matter how bad I may want to, I don't need to reinvent the wheel. just reflavor some things. And really with the right group of players, they will do most of the work. Do you want to play a gimp pact of chain warlock? go for it. You want a dominatrix barbarian, who uses a flogger and a paddle? yeah sure sounds fun. How about a submissive paladin who sees their divine being as their dom and always says yes daddy before smiting? Why not sounds like a good time. 

Now It would obviously be a more comedic game from the way I'm imagining it but that tends to be how I run my games, epic adventure, daring heroics, and touching moments all with a large splash of comedy. But it doesn't have to be that way. One of the things I love about TTRPG and kink is it was safe ways to explore who we are and to wider space humanity at it's best and worst. And I think that's awesome, You want a superserious game that is one tragedy after another and you're playing the stoic adventurers who suffer every indignity with grim determination? go for it. I am most definitely not the guy you want running it but I definitely see the appeal. And I think TTRPG's have a lot in common with kink in a lot of ways. And the combination of the two would be a ton of fun whether you take a more humorous approach to it like I would or a serious exploratory look at power dynamics and the relationship between kinks and people. And it doesn't have to be D&D why not mutants and masterminds? Superheroes pretty much already where fetish gear so that wouldn't be a big step. Or Starfinder? Kink in space is a dream that would be awesome. Besides your crew has to pass the time somehow. I think with the right group of folks playing a game together this would be one of the most fun games out there. And to quote my kitten when she saw the topic, "Honey, kink is an RPG." 

So My favorite class in D&D is the monk, I enjoy playing others but the Monk's unique resource management and ability to run on water and punch it till it's dead mentality really appeal to me. (Ignoring the fact that I also love Kung fu movies and bruce lee. And something important about the monk is they only have so many Ki points to do cool monk things. And I feel a little bit like that with this virus going around.

I have a lot of hobbies. Like a lot and lately, I haven't been doing them and it's been a huge bummer. And now the virus is affecting kink. My kitten and I were supposed to have a session today, but we made breakfast burritos for our neighbors. Which was fun I love to cook. Unfournetly that's where all my ki points went. At first, I was kicking myself when this all started bummed that I wasn't using the time in the house to be productive. But when lamenting to my adviser he stopped me and told me this, "We're all going through a collective trauma and exerting a lot of energy just to get through the day with all this extra stress and uncertainty. So if all you do is get through it that's ok and that's enough. and it really made me think. Yeah, I feel bad that I haven't done my leatherwork and cleared out my list of todos so I can finally make my dream set of bondage gear. And we did just get the new toys and it sucks I don't have the energy for a session but you know, we used a lot of ki points making food and talking to the family today.  Besides every adventurer knows that using when you no longer have the resources that make you a functional party member it's time for a rest. Unfournetly unlike some of my friends, I am not a monk or a warlock. So I'm not in the short rest crew. But hey we all have our unique builds and that's what makes life fun. And so even though kink is not on the menu for tonight, That's ok because I only have so much Ki to spend and so much to do and the fact is I can't do it all. the leatherwork will be there tomorrow. The rope and candles, well I do have two days off coming up here soon and am bored with electronics so... Kitten is going to have a very tiring Wednesday and by then I'll have my Ki points ready to go again. So while today's adventures are over I'm ready to roll initiative again tomorrow. 

So a few days ago I talked about how downtime in a dynamic is important. And for mine, it can be. In the past, our dynamic has slipped into the day to day downtime. Just the way we would speak to one another and the gentle little touches. Yesterday I tried to expand that to a day of downtime pampering for my kitten. And well there were mixed results. The kitten was pampered there were blindfolds, and massages and baths. and well it didn't remain just a pampering day, but it was fun and low-key session. And kitten enjoyed being in the dynamic for longer than usual. So overall it was a very pleasant afternoon. Oh, and our new rope and candle came in so there's that to look forward too!

Downtime, In D&D your players don't technically need it, but their characters sure do. Some of my favorite experiences has been the downtime encounters between my characters and my friends or my NPC's and my players. and as with all things, this is a point where the dungeon can meet the dragons again. Because what about kinky downtime? I'm not suggesting taking a break from kink, just maybe step back from the ropes and the paddles and the sex (not for to long though.) Let me ask you something Dom's when's the last time you took a day just to treat and pamper your sub? If your not a 24/7 couple like us I mean your sub in the role of sub not your partner? How bout your subs? when was the last time you were pampered for the sake of pampering in subspace? has it been awhile? Same for my kitten. I mean sure as my wife I treat her fairly often but as a sub, for the sake of her being a sub while in subspace? I haven't. And I think that's a shame. After all, we do have our dynamic out of the bedroom and she goes out of her way to take care of her sir. Which is great it meets the needs we both have and the dynamic. but that being said She needs to be pampered by sir outside of aftercare or as a reward. But just because Sir loves and appreciates his kitten and all that she does as a sub. And so Friday, I have decided that my kitten is getting pampered and extra special attention, no kink strings attached simply because she deserves it. And if kinkery follows well all the better but if it doesn't well that's ok too. since today's a shorter blog, I'll leave a few of my favorite memes for the Dungeon Master's in our life... and remember it works for both types of dungeons. 

So I prefer my games to be more story and roleplay based, (D&D here though roleplay in scenes is also fun.) But like any good D&D player I love combat, got to get that flurry of blows going and a stunning strike for good measure. And I love a challenge. My sub gets creepy messages all the time and today is no different Kitten got a creepy PM on here from a random dom. Now, To be honest, both of our profiles kind of hint that we would be open to other people for play, so I don't mind kitten getting flirty messages from others as long as they're polite and respect her both as a person and a submissive. Now I don't plan to out the individual but do want to talk about it especially because he did something I've never experienced in these scenarios, apologized and tried to make things right. And the reason I want to use this as an example is to contrast to the numerous other similar messages that either double down on their creepy inappropriate messages or disappear when confronted. 

It started as all the messages do. No introduction just asking my kitten was asked fairly inappropriate things. That was the first message. As a dom I'm a little offended. And now I know I should probably be offended for some dude perving on my kitten, stepping into "my territory". But I'm not. I fully trust my kitten and know she can handle herself. What really irks me is how this reflects on doms. When she told me she got the message my first thought was whats wrong with self-proclaimed doms in this world? I never once thought it would be another sub. I mean seriously that message could have been kinda fun after building a relationship and getting to know one another building they dynamic. My kitten and I have been together for 9+ years, (10 in September) and over half of it has been kinky. That's not a brag, as a dom I will be the first to say that I've got a long way to go and our dynamic is still evolving. But my point is that we have it well established and then maybe it would be ok for me to say something like that to my kitten. Though she would think I was kidding. I guess I just don't understand skipping the part where you build the relationship and dynamic. Because without that you also skip the point you build the trust that allows for a kinky relationship to be successful and safe. There's also the point that she did not consent to be a part of his dynamic or play his game and just starting is concerning.

Now for the "combat" the battle of wits! ok, that's an exaggeration. My hackles were raised but cooler heads prevailed. Kitten simply explained why messages like that were unacceptable. That's it. And that was the proper response. I admittedly wanted to be more immature and respond with movie quotes. But you know her response got a proper apology and he stepped up and admitted he was in the wrong. I went from very irked to have a great respect for this gentleman. We all make mistakes and say stupid things. Trust me the first draft of this blog was just that. And it takes a big person to step up sincerely apologize and admit they made a mistake.  And The only appropriate response I can have is to extend the forgiveness and grace I would like to receive as well as apologize. If your reading this I sincerely apologize for beginning to rant about this scenario before giving you a chance to show your true colors. I had to go back and edit much of this blog post because well, My assumption based on experience was that the message that triggered this would lead to them doubling down. I choose to keep the first part mostly because he was not the first and will not be the last. And I feel that even though this instance was resolved in a positive way I still should speak out against the numerous other times it did not. 

I guess I really don't have a summary of today's blog. I was just frustrated and wanted to scream in my personal digital kink void. I guess if there is any lesson from this, as fun as combat can be each encounter has more than just one solution and diplomacy will often get you much farther than even flurry of blows or rage, or sneak attack... It's been a while since I've gamed and even longer since I was a player and not DM. I apologize for the off track. Now back to it. It also showed as a dom I may feel like a novice but I'm doing something right and that I still have a ways to go. And it gives me all the more admiration towards my sub. The instance that sparked this frustration has ended positively and I'm extremely grateful that this dom has shown my kitten the respect that she deserves. And I hope that in writing this though I kept them anonymous I have extended the same respect to him. But my overall concerns about self-proclaimed, "doms" who treat subs even collard subs as a plaything to be used still stands. It's insulting to their dom sure, but more importantly, it's insulting to the sub, the dynamic and all the positive and wonderful things about BDSM and kink. And while this gentleman proved to be a true dom who cares about sub's and just made a minor error. The other messengers did not and it frustrates and concerns me that there are those out there who use our title that is more or less earned when a sub chooses of their own free will to gift us their submission knowing what that means. 

So I don't actually know if the terms I'm using are the right ones, but I've never really heard anyone talk about this. We always talk about subspace and sub drop after sessions. Which we should Subs put in a lot of emotional energy into a session and depending on what your kink is even while they're having fun it can take a toll on them. Kinda like when I go snowboarding a ton of fun but the physical energy used completely wipes me physically after the end of the day. I have seen people talk about Dom space, but I have not seen anyone talk about Dom drop. 

Anywho on to my story, This weekend was a ton of kinky fun, after all, what do you do when you're bored in a house alone with your sub. It was great, I was in dom space on top of the world my sub was in a good place and enjoying the extra attention It was a blast... until yesterday, where I rolled poorly on my will save. I just dropped from that high. To be fair I also had to go back to the real world, I'm lucky enough to have an essential job and still be going to work at the moment. My sub as wonderful as she was picked up on it almost immediately and jumped into action, my favorite cup of herbal tea was on my desk while I was getting it picked up and usable, and when I was done, pancakes. My sub is awesome. (I don't know If I mentioned that yet in this blog.) But at the same time, it wasn't a fun morning. Just that emotionally spent feeling especially after the high I get from being my subs dom. Now I'm again lucky enough to have a sub who will see that struggle I have and jump to action and is prepared for that for me. Which frankly is quite amazing. She's very clingy and thrives on attention. She aftercare is being cuddled fed and told she's pretty. which I am always more than happy to give her... Until I drop. I need time to myself to recoup and put myself together. And she gets that. After I had my tea by myself and then pancakes, in silence with her she suggested we take the cat on a quick stroll through the neighborhood so he could look at the squirrels. she gave me the time to work at my own pace and come back to my baseline. And I think that's the amazing part about my kitten. She knows how to support me as her dom while I'm dropping while still getting her needs met and maintaining the dynamic we agreed upon. I have no qualms in saying that my kitten is the powerhouse in our dynamic! Ok, I really did not mean for this to turn into me bragging about how awesome my kitten is, so time to bring it back around.

My main point is that Dom drop is just as real as sub drop and while I still stand that subs need to be taken care of first because they're taking the brunt of well, everything. Dom's will also have a drop and will need the support of their sub whatever that means within the dynamic and works for them. I think often, that dom's like to be viewed as indomitable personalities who never falter. Ok, I admit maybe that's how I like to see myself in Dom space. but there is this idea of projecting strength which makes sense for the role we fill but we're still human, (unless someone perfected a true polymorph spell then hit me.) and it's important to admit that and to take care of yourself and to let others take care of you. Like a sub who adores you and wants to do things for you as part of their being your sub. not naming any names but kitten... Ok, last time this blog post I promise. I get it pride is a big thing for a lot of folks and that's good for a dom to have but don't let that become hubris and be a detriment to yourself or your sub/dynamic because then you learn the hard way like I did. It will begin to impact your ability to be a good dom and begin to impact your sub in negative ways. We all need self-care. 

So this one's going to be out there a bit because I'm talking about how weird fetishes are. And just to nip it in the bud, I'm not shaming anyone, let your freak flag fly, I'm actually talking about one of my favorite and most infuriating fetishes. But first lets briefly talk about fetishes in general. At first, when I started to explore my sexuality and interest I was a little weirded out. but nowadays, I look at as a sorcerer's wild magic table. Roll a d100 and see what happens.  And you keep rolling on the table every so often. And as long as it's safe sane and consensual, it's fun and sure kinda weird, but so is writing a D&D themed kink blog.

Now on to the kink of the day! I got a breeding fetish. Which is funny, because I don't even know if I want kids. And if I do I want to adopt. Hard stop no Bio kids. But at the same time the idea of getting my sub pregnant, that being the goal gets me going. And it's stupid. Stupid fun, but stupid. I was putzing around reading erotic stories online and found one that focussed on that aspect. And there a fetish was born. and it's weird to me that it's that easy to form one. more have formed over time like bondage. I really like tieing my kitten up. And every once in awhile getting tied. That one developed slowly over time and then more quickly when a certain kinky graphic novel was discovered and truly opened the world of kink to me. Just another roll of the D100. 

It used to make me really uncomfortable. And confuse me. And to be honest I was a little ashamed and very embarrassed. but over time and with the support of my wonderful kitten, I grew comfortable with it.  And learned to enjoy it. Sure it's hard because the first rule of Kink is SAFE. which includes you know no unwanted pregnancies.  But we found away. And it opened lines of communication and brought new experiences to us and you know what it led to some pretty important conversations and decisions in our relationship as well. To me, that is the cool think about kinks though. They are a safe way to explore parts of ourselves that sometimes we don't know need exploring. And maybe it's just the little spark of chaos in me but I always look forward to another roll on that table and to see what the great goblin of chaos has in store for us.