A scent of Woman

To be a Man

As I walk this earth to find out more on what it has to offer me

I look back on what I become I a Man a Gentleman A Dom

What makes me them giving Manners to all I come Across

And give Respect to all that Deserve it

Been strong in what I believe is right and standing up for the ones who can’t

The true Traits of a man is to look after your self not to be Scared to be different

Stand out from the rest and not just be a number

Fight for what you Believe in

Giving your heart out and not been Scared to show it

Be Humble and Respect those who Deserve it

Have Compassion

Listening is so important to those who can teach you but do not be easy led

Do what’s right in your heart not always in your head

Go with that gut feeling

Don’t lose hope when things are looking down

Appreciate things you have around you

Remember money not everything

Put your own happiness first and learn to love your self before you can love anyone else

Live to your best Ability you can

Do not lie cheat or be Dishonest

When you find love hold onto it and hold it close to your chest

Use your body to show love not lust

Kiss that one you love like it going to be the last time

Know who you are on the inside

Show all your sides but hold your Anger

That’s what is it be a Man

What is to be a Gentleman

Manners

Hold doors open pull chairs out and open car doors show you Respect

Always treat a women with the most Respect

Hold her close but let her have a voice

Pick up the tap for her

Offer to drive her home

Remember always say Thank you and remember say please

It’s not on what you say always it your Actions and there talk louder then words

Remember to dress up nice and take her somewhere special

That’s how To be a Gentleman

How to be a Dom

Take control in the bedroom show her your Strength

Show her how to be take control outside the bedroom

Remember it a gift she has given you to choose you to be her Dom

And if she submits its should mean everything to you don’t take it for Granted

Tell her how Beautiful she is inside and out

Surprise her with a gift from the heart

Make her kinks count on given her true happiness

But look into her life and find out who she is and what makes her tick

Give her your time you love your Attention
And Devotion

And if you put all 3 things together and do your best in all 3 you might Been seen doing ok in life

That’s who I am

And I live by those rules

The Morals of a Dom

I hear the same story over and over from women on here fake Doms full stop

Here are some of my Morals of being a Dom for me

One be open with a sub tell her who you are and what you stand for

Open your whole self to her so she won’t be shocked later on

Tell her to do her homework on you tell her to find out who you are and if you are real

One of all get time know her as a person not as a sub

Find out her Triggers and set backs what holding her back or fears

Open up to her be your true self and do not Lie

Build trust in her

Make that deep connection

The one that can’t be broken

Give her something to smile about

Show you care

Do not miss lead

Do not leave Unbroken promises

Found out her hard limits and do not step over them

Show her you soft side as much as your Dom side

Been Vulnerable counts a lot on both sides you must show her you can be Vulnerable to

Treat her with the most Respect you have

Do not push her if she not ready

You must be able to understand her on all her needs and wants

But first get to know her mind heart and soul

It’s not about her sexual side

Be prepared to do more then you ever done for any other women

Hold her thoughts study her mind

Find out what’s going on for her inside her self

Don’t be asshole

Treated with kindness and respect

Give her all your time you have

Txt her or ring her often ti show you thinking of her

Remember who she is ti you

Give her what she needs not just sexual

Remember been a Dom is not a game or it a thing you turn on when horny

It’s a life style it who I am and it what I am

Those are a few of my Morals of been a true Dom

AFTERCARE

BDSM Aftercare – Ways to Care for All play people In After Play

If you’re getting into any form of BDSM, you’ll need to learn proper aftercare. Here are the basics and a list of suggestions

WHAT IS AFTERCARE?

In short, it’s a fancy way of saying that everyone is okay and happy after playing around in BDSM.

It’s also gently bringing someone back to reality (from the fantasy of play) and helping them feel grounded again and/or re-establishing the normal, loving roles you would normally assume (if you’re in a relationship).

But, there’s a lot to aftercare that many new players might not realize – including special attention to physical and mental or emotional needs.

It’s also important when dealing with physical injuries or “drop”.

WHAT IS SUB/DOM DROP?

When you’re playing around in BDSM, there are often spikes of endorphins and adrenaline (especially if you’re doing something intense). When you crash from this natural high, there is a chance of “drop”. This can include…

Can’t calm down or feeling irritable
Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless
Feeling tired or lazy
Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
Persistent sad, anxious, or feelings of emptiness
Problems with appetite
Problems with sleep cycle (too much or not enough)
Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not go away even with treatment
These feelings can show up right after a scene or anywhere from 24 to 72 hours after (depending on the intensity of the scene and the Dom/sub’s personality, constitution level, or problems they might be going through at that moment.)

Basically, drop is different for each person and for each scene.

SIDE NOTE – One way to help avoid drop is to gradually go into and recede from a scene.

COMMUNICATION FIRST

If you are new play partners, you must discuss/share what aftercare is needed.
If you’ve played often with your partner, you might just need to quickly double check nothing has changed (or you’ve played often enough that you’re already familiar with the aftercare needed).
If you’re new to BDSM, it’s better to start slow and try things that aren’t as intense – you’ll also need to talk during your aftercare to share what works and what doesn’t.
THING TO DO IN AFTERCARE

bdsm after care ideas
Taking off all BDSM gear – like blindfold, ropes, or restraints
Moving the sub somewhere comfortable and warm (off the floor)
Cleaning, disinfecting, applying medicine, and dressing any injuries
Applying any lotions, aloe, cooling creams etc. to make the body feel better
Offering painkillers, vitamins, supplements or antacids to deal with pain, lactic acid build up, or loss of nutrients
Wrapping the sub in a blanket or bathrobe to counteract the body’s temperature drop (if you’re worried about your sub overheating, use a breathable fabric or something lose with holes, like a knitted or crocheted blanket).
Offer water (don’t force them to drink)
Offer chocolate (if the sub can have it) to take care of blood sugar levels
Juice or power drinks are a good alternative to chocolate
Hugging, cuddling, caressing
A soft and gentle voice from the Dom
Reassurance that everything is okay
Offering praise
Reassurance (if the sub feels awkward about their kinks) that they are normal and their pleasures are nothing to feel ashamed about
Offer a reassuring and gentle touch to a part of the body that wasn’t affected by the scene
Make sure participants are serene and positive
A phone call or meet up a day or two after an intense scene to talk about things and make sure everything is okay
Have a warm bubble bath with candles
Put the sub in their favorite comfortable clothing
Watch a movie the sub likes
Journal writing
Being left alone to reflect or even meditate
Remember, everyone is different. Some might need very little, while others might need a lot. It’s not for a Dom to judge what’s right or wrong – rather to take care of their sub.

DOMS CAN HAVE DROP TOO

Did you know that Doms sometimes need aftercare too?

Yep.

The stereotype is that Dom’s are strong creatures that don’t need help or reassurance – but this is an unhealthy mentality towards Tops. They are human too, and they can experience fatigue or have a rough day. The reason people don’t think about Dom aftercare is because they’re so busy taking care of the other person, they’re just starting to learn the craft, or it’s a professional arrangement that is solely focused on the sub.

What can you do?

If you’re practicing BDSM in a relationship, it’s a balance of making sure both parties are happy and calm. If you’re a professional Dom, you should make sure you have a system in place to take care of your own aftercare – this can be having a friend you can hang out with or call, a partner that can take on the responsibility.

EXTENDED CARE OPTIONS

Remember, a sub might need care for a few days after you’ve played. This can be in the form of a scheduled phone call, video chat, or in-person meet up.

However, there are times where that might not be possible, And that’s where a “babysitter” comes into play – this is someone trusted by both parties to step in for the Dom and offer aftercare based on the sub and Dom’s pre-negotiations.

Extended care is important to maintain good communication, deal with any negative feelings that might pop up, and avoid any toxic behaviors.

QUICK CLOSING

With all things BDSM, every person and every experience is unique. That’s why communication, positive attitudes, and consensual actions are VERY important. So is not judging or forcing your own BDSM beliefs on others.

If you like to read more writings like this come into my group

To the lost soul who wants to be a sub

I may be able to put something back into your life. Like with a feeling of lost or lonely heart, or the feeling of letting go of all things in your mind, to let your emotions rest and stop you thinking, letting me take over that confusion, it's what a Dom's job is.

To put back what is missing
To find out what she needs
To build trust
To build a connection
To build foundations
To give meaning
To give her goals to reach
To give structure

I think substance is missing from a lot of women’s life and it's something I love, a woman with passion. You have to have it in BDSM not just not for the kink, it's got to be shown in the mental side for me, it's got be shown in her strength of what she is willing to do to better her life with what I have to offer her.
Can she allow an intensity of empowerment & control to feed her mind, bare her soul and eventually her desires to peace and calmness. Comfortingly, the rules are defined, she merely obeys.

In the tasks I set out, I meet a lot of women all keen on giving and doing it for a while, then the bubble bursts and it's all over before it starts.

For me, I ask all women do they truely know what it is to be a sub and the psychological involvement needed to be one. Are you willing to do your homework, are you willing to sit down and dive so deep into your life and tell me the most dark secrets over time. Are you willing to work on every aspect of your life, not just the things you want to look at.

As I keep telling women, it comes down to 20% play, 80% psychological.
And I have to know you are dedicated to what we will talk about and what I will set down as tasks, and rules and protocols.

If you are not willing to put the work in, how can I help to change your life. I can’t really help you and it’s a shame, as I can see so much potential in you, as I've dedicated my life to being a Dom/Master.
And the benefits have paid off for me, on who I am and what I have to offer the right subs in my teachings.

It’s like who you friend with in the world, they have to mean something to you.
And it's like BDSM, it's my life, I don’t play it or use it as a game or jump into it when I'm horny.
It’s made me strong in so many ways in all I do, it helps who I am and where I am in my life.

You all come here for a purpose to learn something new about yourselves.
You need structure and to shown your strength and who you are
It’s not just about you dropping to your knees and handing over your all to a Dom
It’s about learning so much about us as people and a Dom may have some of the answers you crave for.
He can make a difference for you in your life.

You don't have to know it all but you have be willing to give it a try
You are worthy of your own self, you don’t need people telling you.

But it’s not a Dom's job to

Use her to make himself look good
Not encourage her self-confidence
To bring her down
Tell her what’s wrong with her
Make her feel weak
Show her up
Only play with her (unless that’s all you are here for, is kink )

And if these things happen they are Red Flags 🚩 .,

We can work on your emotions, around what you feel is missing from your life.

I see a lot what is missing

Self acceptance in yourself
Self-confidence
Love
Connection
Passion
Structure
Understanding of yourself
Not letting go
Feeling trapped
Can’t stop thinking (turn the mind off )
Trust issues
Mental health

These are just some of the issues a good Dom will be looking at in your life and putting structures in place to help you over come or to help you deal with.

It’s so important you learn to open up to your Dom or finding someone you fully trust to give your connection to, as it's something that can’t be rushed into.

It’s a Dom's role to assess every bit of your life, from the moment you wake up to the moment to go to sleep and even the nightmares.

For me, it is so important for her well-being that I know all I can, to be there for her emotional state. To open my arms to her, to give her safety, make her feel loved and safe, make her feel like she can come to me at any point of time with her concerns, no matter how small or big they are.

Does she need to be weak sometimes - unshackled & vulnerable. Can she let me be the strong one, with nourishment and protection. ?
When her needs become a saturated, painful mess and she wants someone to just listen when she whispers or wants to cry out, can she let me be the balance of that need, help to suppress those feelings but still cherish and honour her mind ?

TASKS
What are these ? And why do I put them in my sub's life ?

For Stability, a big one for me, is Fitness.
It helps work on her self confidence, the little things like a power walk morning and night. It makes her feel like she is doing something for herself, so by putting that in, its showing I want her to love her body as much as I do.

I love to promote a good mind, body and soul and spirit
We need structure to show our strength.
It's so important to show her why you put tasks into her life and we must explain why they are good for her.

And to record in her journal for her emotional state. How she feels and what is going on inside her head each day, so she can bring this to her Dom and he can see for himself the support she needs.

And finally, she will long for my mastership, devotingly and respectfully, ready to serve and please attentively to my own needs and desires.

If you like this writting why don’t you come join my Learning group

A Submissives Needs

I need to feel safe
I need to know You accept me for all I am
I need to have clearly defined limits
I need You to be consistant
I need to expand my limits
I need You to teach me
I need goals
I need to be corrected
I need you to be my role-model
I need Your approval and reassurance
I need to be able to express myself
I need to learn from my mistakes
I nee forgiveness when I fail you
I need to feel I contribute
I need to enjoy successes
I need to share with you
I need to feel loved, respected and
protected in Your ownership

TO KNOW HER
Do you know your sub

Do you know how to get inside her head

So you know how to Tear down here walls

So do you walk in her Shadow

To know her is be her

To feel her is know her pain

To see her is to look Through her eyes

Those are ways to make her yours

As we all Want the strong connection

That deep Belief in each other

That deep bond that Connects you

The time to reach inside her to get to know her

Walk in her Footprints to know where and what she come from

Make her want to Release her mind to you

Make her see she’s not alone

Fine her inner Strength

Find her Weakness

Built on making the her trust you to let you so far in

To know her is to understand everything about her

Make her want you

Make her yours

Give her Notting to Doubt you

You must show her love Respect Loyalty
And your whole Commitment to her

If she is going to give you her self she must want your true self to be hers

You must work on the soul, Spirit mind to know her

Do not leave a stone unturned in her mind

It’s take a lot ti break someone

But it take a lot more to Know someone

Your job as True Dom is to Figure her out

Tear to walls down and do what it takes to
Release her

Find what she needs

It’s time to Silence in mind

And stop her from thinking

As I said to know her is to be her and get inside her mind

Feel her be her know her

What she is and who she is

Where she’s been

What is she missing

Find These answers

And you may call your self a Dom

And then she may make you her Master
 

I WANT YOU

I want your heart because,
selflessness breeds love.
I want your mind because,
conversation breeds connection.
I want your soul because,
energy breeds an intangible bond.
I wants you because,
nothing can replace the impact
of your presence
I want to feel you inside and out.