lambsone's thoughts

amalthea​(sub female){Mr Gregory} - You got to keep sifting to find the good ones. Can take awhile.

lambsone - Thank you for your thoughts. At 72 though, I'm not sure how much of "awhile" I've got left.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} - We are out here. We tend to stay quiet for the most part. Ask my why? 🤷‍♂️. It is probably because we have to overcome the insta and fake doms which is difficult to do online. Don’t think for a minute we aren’t here. We are in the shadows watching and waiting. We have been grouped in with the others also due to a stigma that all D types are the same. The only time we are not seen that way is when we have found a partner and others see those interactions and wish that they could find the same.
Just my perspective.

lambsone - If the good ones stay in the shadows, the subs won't know what a good Dom is. Much less know that they exist. They'll only know what the bad ones look like, because they are more primunant, and a newbie sub could believe that that's what a Dom is.

Also it tends to look like they are afraid to make contact in a relationship which makes me question their leadership abilities. Actions speak louder than words. If they don't match then that's a problem.

It also makes me think that they want the sub to carry most of the responsibility in the relationship and they will sit back and enjoy the ride.

So no I don't think that's a good strategy.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} - It isn’t a good strategy but the good Doms are tired of getting grouped in with the wannabes. I hear complaints from both sides of the slash. Newbies tend to have the fantasy mind set of what a Dom is compared to the reality of it.
A good Dom comes in and says hi and is respectful and we get told we are not man or woman enough and then they go to the wannabe because they are getting the fantasy fix. Then they realize what is happening and complain. It goes both ways. This is why the good Doms don’t engage much anymore.
If people were authentic in the beginning then there wouldn’t be the issue.
Someone coming into this lifestyle shouldn’t be looking for a D/s right away. They should be talking with people and learning what to watch for. Maybe read the forums and the blogs. That is where you will find us. We write and chat. We are playful in our chats. We have knowledge for those that want to hear it. I get D types and s types messaging me and asking questions because they took the time to read some of my educational posts. I get questions on what to look for, how to vet, what should a contract look like, etc. A good Dom is always respectful. They do not demand shit until informed consent is given.
It is easy to spot us. And we stay in the shadows to watch what is going on being respectful and playful.
Spotting a good Dom is easy, even if we are in the shadows. One just needs to open their eyes and get rid of any fantasy’s of what a Dom should look like.

Just my opinion

lambsone - Well at least now I know you guys at least engage others somehow rather than be entirely incognito. That gives me some hope at least.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} - We do. We just don’t do it full out. 😉

Look for those that are on the forums and blogs. We will always be respectful unless we are calling out a wannabe like I do. 🤣

Sir Don​(dom male){Nt looking} - So true