The Culture that has been here all the time

If you are reading this, you have put up with my blog. Sometimes, ok, sometimes just a shit post now and then.

Full Circle? Yes I have been many times through the Yin and Yang scenario. 

When I started in life, I was so ignorant I needed adults to lead me by the hand, feed me, teach me to speak, and change my diaper.

Then, one day, I discovered I knew everything that I needed to know (duh).

That was fine until I found out about sex, and the whole world became a new planet. Sex drive made most of my decisions, and it was sex that was the center of my universe.

Oh wo and oh wow and back again. Every female I liked didn't like me.  Those who liked me, I didn't like. Some gay guys failed to convert me, and in the end, after a stupid youth, I married three times. The third is the one that lasted forty years - as they say, three is a charm. Old, not just older. I don't know why I am cursed with a strong libido with no one to apply my desire to.

Full Circle?

Now, once again, I don't know "nothin". "De Ja Vu all over again." YB

Many of my peers succumbed to the second law of Thermodynamics, and their energy returned to the Universe, but they left the chemical elements to blow in the wind.

If you visit a nursing home, you will learn that if we live long enough, we go back to the beginning. We are led by the hand and fed, and our diapers are changed again.

FULL CIRCLE? YES - not for me. Oh, one more thing: Once again, we don't know anything it seems. And the women I like don't like me, and the ones I like are not "my type," LOL.

If you are religious, this post is not for you.

Can you remember anything about the world's reality before you were born? Unless you believe in reincarnation (I don't believe in reincarnation myself), you can not know anything about life before you were born. Why is this a critical thought to consider?

It is essential because when you die, the "lights go out again," there is nothing like the nothing there was before you were born. You will not know anything about the realities after you are gone.

I can not even say you would be oblivious because that would imply you had some sort of connection to some sort of reality. No, that is our end, period.

You can remove the poor boy from the lower class (yours truly is one), but you can never elevate him to a higher class.

Greed is the true religion of the US, and common Religions lead the way. No matter how poor my family was, "The Church" always wanted its cut.

I don't want to incite a nasty debate; I only want to suggest I am a man without religion, and I have my reasons; I will never return to religion ever again.

The church we had belonged to for decades - and my wife was a diligent servant - was the first group of people we were associated with that left me to care for her by myself when she was diagnosed with dementia (the last four years have been hard). Next came family, and by that time, I no longer had friends as well. I will continue to care for my wife until my last breath or her last breath.

Bitter? Yes. I do not expect that I will have a caregiver for me when that time arrives.

My wife still has diarrhea, and I still have a big caregiver challenge.

You, my friend, probably do not lose sleep thinking about cosmology as I have (Though I know it is not logical). However, perhaps you should consider "Forever and for always" and its implications. My wife and I selected that concept as our wedding theme and song forty years ago, and it is one reason I remain her caregiver through these challenging times.

Science is like any other human activity; it is dynamic and not static. Contrary to what was once believed, it isn't absolute either. Things change: theories and data are updated, new tools make changes, and the use of mathematics is also fluid. 

Once, we thought the Earth was the center of the Universe, followed by the Sun and then the Milky Way Galaxy. With each update, our perception of reality is altered. Take, for example, "The Big Bank" theory and the expanding cosmos. To read about this carefully, the suggestion is that the Cosmos began from nothing and will end in nothing (functionally) sometime in the distant future. Relavent for us, NO! Don't lose sleep thinking about this.

New data and theories suggest the universe is infinite (many spin-off topics are addressed in science fiction literature and cinema). The James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) has added mystery to the origin of the Universe. Was there a "Big Bang"? What existed before this theoretical birth of our Universe? No one knows - we have only theory.

Perhaps your past lovers are still making love with you in the past. Or maybe with another you in a parallel Universe?

Where is the center of the universe (where the Big Bang occurred), and where is its edge?

As counterintuitive as it may seem, the universe has no center, and it has no boundary.

I know that the center of my reality (including my thoughts about the Cosmos) is in my mind based on what I believe is true.

Ok, so I am paranoid and have to self-adjust my OCD.

I was too trusting, but that changed in 2023. I had been scammed several times by ladies claiming they would help me care for my wife and be my companion, too. It always came down to, "Send me X amount of dollars, and I will be headed your way." They never arrived.

Unfortunately, this ignited the misanthropic side of my personality. Jim the Hermitcrab inside a shell.

Yes, Friends, I am thinking out loud again,

I was wondering how people define their soul mate.

Is it tangible? Does it happen immediately, or does it take time to manifest?

I've experienced that when two people are opposites in several ways, that doesn't seem to hinder the feeling of a soul mate if the differences are complementary. However, if the "in commonness" is too strong, this can create competitiveness and rule the relationship[ thus diminishing the enjoyment of togetherness?

I have discovered an indefinable aspect: When sharing time with some people, a sense of comfort and ease transcends the details. This can happen when two people just encounter each other briefly, and it engulfs them so quickly.

Thinking back to my youth, making friends seemed to happen quickly, but it has become challenging to make new friends now. Some of that is learned caution from disappointments and betrayals (perceived, at least).

My wife, with her cognitive disease, still has very slight fleeting moments of affection - this keeps me going. If we humans can anthropomorphize pets, even inanimate objects like dolls, I surely can amplify the tiny bit of affection my wife shows on occasion. She even attempts an I love you with her pronounced aphasia distorting her speech. Ironically, if I ask her, "Are we married?" She usually replies, "No."

I have a lot of practice masking my sorrows and depressive moods. If I see a neighbor or meet a healthcare worker, I can appear upbeat and unphased by the negatives surrounding me - I suppose this is preferable to being downtrodden and under a dark cloud. Yet, I cannot hide the way I feel from myself. Also, I always seemed to view the future with optimism - the view from now is, at best, uncertainty.

I have been dealing with a more challenging caregiving situation recently. It is lonely since my wife is in hospital. I do a great deal of reflection and thinking.

Reality is unique for every living entity: We must survive and ensure our species continues. The story from each entities point of view is different. Ears, tongues, fingerprints, and DNA reflect individuality. The variations enhance survivability and play a part in the social aspects of interactions between individuals. I read not long ago that even plants sense other plants' nearness and adjust their position in an ecosystem.

We can never ignore the sexual tension between men and women, and even so-called platonic relationships indeed have a sexual component, even if it is suppressed. Therefore, friendship between species may involve food. There is an example of cross-species friends that seem to be just that: friendship.

My old dogs comfort me in this lonely time, but my friend Sunny Day, the cat, is very important to me.

James

Hello to my readers,

Most of you know I am the sole caregiver for my wife, who has cognitive issues. Since my caregiving became the most intense and intricate, I have learned much—some from share groups, some from literature, and others from other sources. The one thing I wish to share today is a discovery that has made all the difference in how I feel about my taking care of her. Her disease destroyed much, and the toll on intimacy seemed to be among the first issues in relationships with friends and family. Since I never gave up, I have learned important lessons.

She has aphasia but understands much more than anyone imagined.

She was a woman who regarded touch as her primary mode of communication, and that remains true.

Dementia allows the sufferer to read body language, and she often strokes my head or back on a bad day for me.

Now that I have this knowledge, I am careful about how I take care of her physically. I brush her hair 101 times in the morning, and she seems to enjoy that. Of course, she can be rebellious as most Alzheimer's patients with baths and dressing, but with care, I can minimize the negative interactions. I also no longer give her the drug that is intended to reduce the angry type of mood. Instead, I hug, kiss, and tell her I love her, and her negative state diminishes, and there is no groggy-like after-effect from a med.

Now, here is my thought. I know she has never been a woman who used much makeup, but she did care about her appearance, and she seemed to enjoy me brushing her hair. She often looks at herself in the mirror, sometimes uttering words affected by aphasia. I want to try applying a little makeup on her face (no more than she ever applied herself) and observe her reaction. I already apply college cream to dry skin, and she has no problem with me doing that.

Do any of you have any experience along these lines? It is a form of intimacy with intrinsic benefits for her and me.

To Friends and Acquaintances,

Do you get tired of a lover? Do you tire quickly, or does it depend on something? Kinky folks should have an edge on avoiding getting bored with a lover. Isn't that true? There should always be something new to try: a position, a location, a toy, or a situation. Am I right to assume this?

What does love have to do with it? What about personality? Is it more than sex?

I have gotten tired or bored with a lover quickly sometimes (almost immediately), but three years, seven years and forty years worked for me with a significant other.

It would be best if you let go sometimes.