Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Our last day together for a while....what a bitter sweet day! Started off with a workout together and then back to the house to get ready for the day! Once ready Master had a surprise/ punishment for me.

We get in the car headed somewhere??? He won’t tell me where we are going or what we are doing! I’m nervous...

We finally arrive at the place...a tattoo shop. I look at him like what’s happening??? He says it’s time to get your tongue pierced! Now we have talked about this...but I didn’t ever do it (excuses I guess)...but here we are. He says “Do you want to back out?” Uuummmmm....No. My only protest at this point is...I won’t be able to eat Thanksgiving!! He just laughs and say “Did you actually just say that!!??” Well...it was a good shot.

So here I am writing this blog with a newly pierced tongue...yes it’s swollen...yes it’s sore...but it’s done! And when he comes back...he will be able to reap the benefits of this punishment...and so will I! Lol!

We went and had a nice dinner...and I was able to eat a little! And now our last night for a while will commence...i still have another punishment...we will see how this goes!! Whatever happens...i will love every second with him.

Until tomorrow... D Day.

So we’ve been shopping for some more toys to add to our collection. One of which is his choice and one is anything of my choosing. He has chosen nipple clamps with weights and I have not chosen yet.

Shopping for nipple clamps with weights is a little bit of a difficult task! You would not believe the choices! He has specifically asked me to find clamps that are sexy yet have removable weights. I have found many choices...some aren’t that sexy though. Anyone have any suggestions?

As for me...I can’t decide between a Kegel exerciser or Ben Wa balls. I have read about both. I would like to strengthen my pelvic and vaginal muscles...but would like to enjoy it at the same time. Any suggestions?

Help me out...go...

Until tomorrow...

Last night was absolutely amazing. I was laying in the bed writing my blog beside him. Our normal go to bed time looks like me crawling into bed with him...he’s playing him game or finishing up work...I look at emails, social media or write my blog while he finishes...then it’s our cuddle time. It’s our time to just hold each other, feel each other’s bodies and kiss. Sometimes we will have play time after...sometimes not. 

 
On this night I was not expecting to have play time...we had had a long day of shopping and a dinner date. But there I was writing my blog when he gets on top of me. He’s kissing me, kissing my neck....and moving so he can be between my legs. He tells me to continue writing (which I can’t!!)...he’s grinding on me and of course I become wet just by his touch so he knows I’m ready for him. He moves inside of me...deep and slow....he is moving slow and steady...I can’t help but to move and grind into him....he tells me to go slow...I relax and let him mesmerize me with his movements. I’m enjoying every single slide of his cock inside of me....he stops and pulls me down further on the bed...hands me my phone and says continue writing and he goes down on me. I can’t write anymore...I’m just holding my phone moaning...he sucks and licks my clit just right...I’m begging him to let me cum...and he tells me yes as he puts his fingers inside of me...

 
He continued to make me cum several more times with his tongue and his fingers....he knows just how to simulate all of me...then he pulls me into him....I feel his cock so hard inside of me...my pussy is still pulsing from all the orgasms...and he’s penetrating me hard and deep. He’s grabbing me hard...puts his hands around my neck...I’m going crazy....the pain and the pleasure is so erotic...I can feel myself moving to a huge orgasm....I tell him I’m going to cum...and he says to cum with him...the feel of his pulsing cock with my pulsing pussy is heaven...it’s pure heaven.

 
I could make love to this man until I passed out....it’s so amazing. I can’t wait for tonight...

 
Until tomorrow...

Sexy...the word means so many different things in a lot of different contexts. It could be a description for how we act, an object, a thought, etc. I’ve often wondered if that word and me would ever go together.

 
My description for sexy comes in a lot of forms...but when it came to describing a person...the word sexy went hand in hand with the way they looked. I now think different. Especially for myself.

Sexy is a state of mind. Sexy is not only what we can portray to others but how we can view ourselves...not just for sexual reasons but the way we carry ourselves. I personally see a lot of things and people as sexy. But most importantly I can honestly see myself and say I’m sexy.

 
It’s not only for the sexual being I am learning to be...but in the way I think...the way I move...the way I carry myself. I think I’m getting better at being sexy every single day. And while it’s nice to get confirmation from others of this fact...I’m enjoying the way I feel to myself.

 
Im so thankful for my Sir for helping me open my eyes to this...and in little ways everyday he opens my confidence up a little more. Being with him...his confidence is contagious...you can’t help but to breathe it in.

I hope all of you ladies feel sexy...if for nobody else feel sexy for yourself...it’s absolutely amazing how sexy you will be when you find yourself absolutely the sexiest beast you know!

Until tomorrow...

Sometimes I wonder if my sex drive is to high? There could be several reasons this could be...but it does make me wonder if it’s a bad thing?

 
I’m in my 40’s and I have read that a lot of women are in their sexual prime in the age. I wonder if that’s what’s going on...but it could be a huge list of other things! Such as...what if I just never had great sexual experiences until now...what if it’s because I’ve never loved anyone like I do now...what if it’s because I have some sort of chemical imbalance...what if it’s because I’ve never had anyone love me like this and make me feel sexy like this so it’s my body responding? I could go on with all the what if scenarios...but it really does make me wonder.

 
I know that I feel closer to him when we are having sex...or simply making out. I also know that I feel more him when we are having sex. Maybe this is my brain telling my body how to deal with wanting his undivided attention for a few more minutes. It’s our time that is exclusively ours...we don’t have anything else but us and our connections through our bodies. 

 
I know that’s extremely selfish...but is it? I have an amazing sex life with this man...is it so bad that I want him all the time? But I also don’t like rejection...it hurts even when you know it wasn’t meant to be hurtful. And maybe it’s hurtful because I’ve never felt as wanted as I have now...and your brain gets greedy and just wants more.

 
I want him to enjoy our sexy life as much as I do...I never want him to feel pressure from my constant desire to have sexy time. I want it to be natural and passionate...not planned or expected. Hopefully I can control myself enough that we never have to go down that road...

 
Thoughts of the day....lol

Until tomorrow....

Do you like surprises? Either you love them or you hate them...I personally love them!! My Master loves to give surprises!

Since I became his he has given me lots of surprises...he has left me sweet messages on post it notes, surprise visits, ordered and shipped me clothes and shoes, took me surprise shopping, took me to some fancy places for dinner, brought me food...even bought me some fancy hair products and had them shipped to me! All of this as a surprise!!

So it was not shocking to me when 2 of my punishments were going to be “surprises”.  Meaning that I would know when it was happening and not before. Ok...I’m good with that...I think. Surprise punishment #1 came during the middle of the movie yesterday.

There we are watching the movie. I was all settled in...he was so sweet in making sure we had all of our snacks and drinks...the movie had been going about 30 minutes...he has his hand on my leg....and then he starts shifting...moving the snacks over to the other chair beside him...and then he turns to me and says “Are you ready for one of your punishments?”...I said yes Sir...and he tells me he wants me to suck his cock...right here, right now. I immediately say OK...as I start moving to get in front of him...he already was ready for me. I kneel before him and take him in my mouth. He always tastes so good to me...I think I could suck him for hours. He only lets me do this for a couple of minutes...and then he tells me to come back and sit down.

 
It was very erotic...the thrill of maybe getting caught...the thoughts of what if someone see’s...but more than that for me it was I going to get to show him I will obey...as he commands. It was such a turn on...

I asked him after why he didn’t let me finish? He told me he was really going to see if I would do it...I hope he was pleased with my response!

Another first for me...on my knees in a public movie theater...pleasing my Master.

I have another surprise punishment sometime before he goes back to work...I wonder if this one will be like the last??

I love home time...

Until tomorrow...

Another perfect day...

My day started with sleeping in a bit..and getting to sneak in a few extra cuddles. Then I made Master some breakfast and then off to the gym.

While at the gym I decided to stay on the bike and finish my show on Netflix...which if you haven’t watched the Haunting of Hill House...you should.

Then it was back to the house to get ready...we have a date!

I got in the shower and Master decided to join me. I’m washing him and decided that he could be cleaner with my mouth. I’m enjoying him while he rubs my back...the water is running down his body and down my face....he tastes so good. He pulls me up and spins me around...he is holding me tight with is left hand...and pleasuring me with his right. I’m begging him to let me cum...he says “cum for me” in sexy growl in my ear...and then bends me over and goes in deep! This just sends me over the edge! I feel myself exploding...I know I’m moaning and screaming loudly....the neighbors probably hear me! I’m in my tip toes...hands against the walls and he is taking me....I just have orgasm after orgasm!! He grabs fists full of my hair as he pushes deeper inside me....and I fill him explode...He is truly amazing!

We get dressed up and he treats me to a movie...some shopping and then comes home and he fixes the most amazing dinner!! 

The Christmas Tree is also up thanks to him...

Remember to enjoy every single second. Don’t waste one moment. Enjoy each other’s laughter, smiles, messing Morning hair and other silly things. All of it is precious....

Until tomorrow...

Sweet bliss of being together. The smell of him...his touch...just watching him do the little things just takes my breathe away. How is it that one single person can have so much awe in my eyes. I hope this feeling never goes away.

It’s still a dream to me the way everything is turning out. For me it’s perfect...well mostly perfect. I do still have doubts sometimes about me personally on this side of the partnership...Am I doing enough? I have no idea why I keep questioning myself??? Maybe it’s because I have always been the dominant (not that I liked it...in fact I hated it)...but because that is what I have always been used to...I’m always wondering if I am doing what I should? 

I don’t want to bother him with these questions because I don’t want him to think that I am doubting myself again...personally I feel better than I ever have!! But as a submissive I am always wondering if I should be doing more to please him.... I mean am I supposed to wait for him to command me? Do I take the initiative to just do it for him? 

Some of these conundrums are still hard for me to understand....I want to stay in my role in this relationship...I don’t want to step out. Sometimes that line gets hazy for me... and I know that still being in training is part of the process. 

 
It’s funny how the more I know about this life the more personal questions come into play...especially for regular day to day life. Maybe I just need to sit down with him and go over expectations...maybe I need more rules? Who knows....I just want to give him the best of me.

Any feedback or suggestions are welcome.

Until tomorrow...

The waiting and the tears are worth the reunion. Our first night back together was absolutely amazing!

Sir showed me how much he missed me with multiple orgasms delivered in so many different ways. He showed my body the attention is was screaming for...and connected my body back to my heart! 

Now we are back in the regular day...and guess what I went and did?? That’s right...not even 24 hours in and I’ve already broken 2 rules. This happened last time too...I get comfortable with him here and so happy that I forgot 2 of my rules that I must do before Noon every single day...no matter where he is!!!

I already racked up 3 punishments while he was gone! 2 of which I know what they will be...and I don’t foresee that has horrible. 1 I have no idea what it will be...since he will not tell me. Now I will have to pull 2 more cards! On day 1 of him home!!! What is wrong with me???

Punishments are scary and exciting to me....all because most of them I have never experienced! It’s not the pain I am afraid of...it’s more about what if I like it...and harsher punishments will ensue?? The excitement comes from the unknown...and the fact that I want to please him...and knowing that he is giving me what I earned...I mean he did tell me what would bring punishments...and I disobeyed.

Punishments in a strange way let me know that he does care and is invested in this. I know...it sounds weird...but I feel that way. Twisted maybe? Whatever it is...I’m kinda looking forward to it...

Until tomorrow...

Well here I am sitting at the airport waiting for him. I’m in his favorite outfit. Patiently waiting for him to get here. Just a little bit early...about 45 mins early lol...but it gives me time to write my blog for the night.

 
I honestly can’t believe this day has finally came!! We almost had a a delay when he almost missed his first flight...but he made it! Just thinking about all the days and nights I have waited seems like so long ago...and some how in this moment it feels like it was just yesterday he left.

 
So much has changed over the last 20 days...it’s really incredible. Even through the rough times everything is turning out just like it should. 

 
Over this time away we have said I Love You, had our first “fight”, had a steamy video sex experience, learned more about each other and now we are moving to the next stage of the relationship. I feel like most of it has been a dream...a dream filled with everything you could imagine and from my side every emotion you can think of.

 
My body is literally aching for him...but my soul is looking for her heart to return. Even though we talk constantly...the need to be with him is strong. It’s stronger than anything I’ve ever felt. I feel like an addict needing their drug...I feel lost without him.

The excitement is boiling and almost out of control...but at the same time I feel calm and relaxed...more than I have in the last 20 days. I just want him holding me...caressing my face and kissing my lips. And later i want him to take me...own me...possess every part of me. 

Thank-you all for sticking with me through the last 20 days!!! Your support and encouragement is precious to me. These blogs and your comments keep me going and really help me learn to be better for him.

I hope you stick with me for what’s to come!!! It’s just getting good...

Until tomorrow...