YourDarlingSub

Vetting VS topping from the bottom

To the new Domly doms that slap that title to their name and expect to be treated like one.
Let me give you a little info. If you pop up in my inbox we are on equal ground. You are NOT superior because you chose that role from the many options.
If we are communicating, it's apart of the vetting process. Getting to know each other. If I ask questions or call you out on your domly BS. I am not topping from the bottom because you are NOT topping me.
Accusing me of being a bad sub, a brat, fake or topping is a very childish move. I owe you nothing, not even respect.
If you can't handle your motives be questioned, better move on because I might just end up topping you.

Cutting the last rope

3 years ago. August 16, 2021 at 2:45 AM

Since nobody knows who I am on here, i need to let this out.

I just handed my group over to someone else and my last munch is this week. My Fet account will vanish by the end of it. It will be the last rope that needs to be cut that keeps me bound to the community.

I cannot be associated with people that find sex crimes as a "mistake " someone made and that it's forgivable, especially if it's against children. Leaders and board members will defend those that commit these crimes. One even stated that child porn is acceptable.

This has been eating at me for awhile and it has broke me of wanting any involvement in the lifestyle. It's an internal battle that is leaving so confused. Today, I will walk away with my head held low, as I leave a part of me behind, but BDSM will never leave me because as a good friend once told me "it's in your blood and it defines who you are"

Just don't understand why there are so many shitty people that make this thing up as " community "

TaskMasterNZ(dom male) - I must have lead a sheltered existence because I can't imagine anyone condoning sexual acts on children.

The very foundation of BDSM is consent. Those who commit sexual crimes should rightly be shunned by any safe, sane and consensual-thinking person or group.

I think you've made the right call to withdraw from those groups and wish you well.

3 years ago

YourDarlingSub - We have a twice convicted pedophile here that throws a monthly party
Someone brought this up in another group to warn newbies and the way they defended him was digusting. They trashed the guy for bringing it up. To them EVERY crime is forgivable if you served your time.
I withdrew from MY group and MY munches and activities because I won't be considered apart of that behavior. It is just hard to let go but best for my mental health.

3 years ago

Sasa(dom female) - I'm sorry to hear that. It's unethical. I believe there is no "lifestyle" only people in one group you have to leave. I'd do the same and I hope you tell them why.

3 years ago

Voldemort(dom male) - A crime is a crime. Irrespective of who committed it and what he adhered to.

3 years ago

YourDarlingSub - But are all crimes forgivable offenses? Because around here many believe they are.

3 years ago

Voldemort(dom male) - Crimes are crimes and punishable.

3 years ago

SageFlame(sub female) - To the forgiving crime thing....

Forgiveness is a construed concept and varies in definition/ application depending on social environment.

Forgiveness is not making something acceptable. Forgiveness is not taking a side.
Forgiveness is not saying " it's okay honey"

It isn't a magic wand that erases boundaries that protect the innocent.

If a crime was committed it is due to intent. Sometimes our intent warps our vision and we can't see clearly the path. Sometimes it is blatant.

Age of consent is there to protect. Because we protect what is valuable and precious.

To YourDarlingSub,
I'm sure this runs deep. Your making a clear statement - this is good! If you ever hold a rally/movement I'll help make signs and walk with you.
I hope you find peace as well as strength in the days to come.

3 years ago

YourDarlingSub - Thank you for your kind words. These days I usually get the opposite. I'm a big advocate for safety and it just breaks my heart to see so many that approve of sexual abuse against children. They run the community. My name and reputation have been drugged through the mud by standing up to them. It has wore me down to a emotional mess. Walking away is not something I do, so this has been tough but I keep telling myself that I might have lost this battle but there is a bigger one to fight. Instead of focusing my time within the community, I will be better off donating my time to the sex trafficking groups in the area. At least there, I know we are all on the same side.
I'm been on this site for years but never used it, glad I found it again when I needed it most.

3 years ago

HEAVEN'S STARCHILD(switch female) - As a victim of sexual abuse as a child and older, I stand with you. To have someone like him being defended makes me.sick. what if this person comes into contact with a.child they know, would they defend him then? Imho, they probably would, they will fight for the abuser more than the victim. And of all places, here???? How sickening is that? Too bad there isn't a way to.let.others know about the abuser and defenders. I would not want to associate myself with them.
May.you continue to have peace within you on your journey ((HUGS))

3 years ago

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