Musings of a Dom .... D/s relationships through the eyes of a Dom

I have been in this lifestyle a long time. my introduction to BDSM was the time of The Old Guard, of high protocol. Since then, BDSM, has evolved. Throughout my 30+ years, many branches have appeared on the scene. One of which has been DD/bg. The dynamics in that relationship vary ... there are littles, middles, baby girls, kittens, and the like. The dynamics vary according to the needs within these relationships. However, some characteristics, of a Daddy, should remain constant. With powerful titles, comes great responsibility. The potential for devastation, is quite high. Most of us are damaged. However, a “ broken little girl,” inside of a woman, is probably one of the most vulnerable parts of her. Imagine the level of trust needed to let her out. Herein lies the potential for devastation.

In the interest of education, I have provided, what I consider, to be some crucial responsibilities that come with the title “ Daddy”

So ....You want to call yourself her daddy?

Tell me this ;

What’s her favorite color?

What’s something that always makes her laugh?

What are her goals?

Her dreams?

What is she afraid of?

Do you know what she likes do to when she wants to relax?

Do you know what helps her when she’s had a bad day?

Can you recognize when she needs extra love because she’s feeling needy but doesn’t want to say anything?

Can you tell when she’s bothered by something?

Do you know her favorite way to be held, to be cuddled, to be wrapped up in your arms?

Are you her safe place to go to when the world gets scary?

Does she feel safe opening up to you?

Does she feel like she can tell you anything?

Do you punish from a place of love/caring, for correction of her destructive behaviors, for her own good?

Do you see her as a person, a whole complete, complicated person?

Do you make her feel respected and cherished? Do you protect her?

Do you take care of her?

Being a Daddy is way more than fucking her, and if you’re not ready to take her heart, mind, body and soul, if you are not committed to protecting & treating her with all the love, care, tenderness, and respect that you are capable of giving ... you’re not her “ Daddy.” You’re just some asshole who wants to be called “ Daddy. “

~Wicked

Lilkitten(sub female){Deepwater} - Thank you so much for this WW. As a little/middle myself, I can say that the potential for devastation can be profound, in the case of abandonment or being treated badly. It is for anyone, but for littles, can be more so. Every Daddy should read this and take it to heart. Thanks again.

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - That was my intention. I just hope this resonates

5 years ago

ADIDAS - I wish I could like this a million times!!! I LOVE this post! I know a few fake Daddy's, faddys, that needs to read this and learn!! . MyDaddy I have now fits all this criteria and more... He's absolutely perfection! I don't know what I'd ever do without him!

Thank you for an incredible Post Ms. Wicked. I appreciate you and your blog very much! 💗

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Thank you ADIDAS!

5 years ago

Lilkitten(sub female){Deepwater} - It is important for any dynamic. All Sirs/Masters/Daddies should display those caring and loving qualities for their subs. The absence of it only causes harm.

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - So very true kitten !

5 years ago

boofygurl(sub female){Taken} - I love every single bit of this post!! Thank you so much for sharing!! I hope that all of those who are new.... and old.... to this lifestyle read this!! Doms and subs alike!!

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Thank you bg! I hope for the same.

5 years ago

TheAnt(dom male) - WW,
I went down the list of questions, I couldn't help it. I know as a Daddy, myself, that we have such a delicate job. After being a Master for decades, I think this form of the Dom has to be the most challenging AND the most REWARDING. No slam to the Masters out there. My dynamic may have been flawed when I was a Master and likely they were. BUT everything is so much more intense, wonderful and the LOVE WOW!

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - DA - } - I agree with you are all counts! I too, have made Many mistakes throughout my years in this lifestyle. However, out of all my “ roles,” I find this to be one of the most delicate. Most of us are damaged. However, a “ broken little girl,” inside of a woman, is probably one of the most vulnerable parts of her. Imagine the level of trust needed to let her out. Here in lies the potential for devastation. I’m happy to see you take your role with the care, and awareness needed.

~Wicked

5 years ago

Litlegrl(sub female){Dragon11} - This is such great advice! All Daddy's should read this. Actually any role should, but especially Daddys. Definitely agree broken little girls in a woman's body give much trust. Thus are more prone to hurt. Thank you a million gazillion times for this

5 years ago

Alljack(dom male) - WW,i commend you for this.for myself have made mistakes in the dynamic.i am my own worst critic when it comes to doing something wrong.but you have to learn from your mistakes.
And yes the little girl inside is the most vulnerable,and there are to many assholes out there preying on them.
Thanks WW!!

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - I appreciate your comment Aljack!
~ Wicked

5 years ago

Dellydoodah(neither female) - This made me cry

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Noooo ... don’t do that ! It’s supposed to give you hope 🌹

5 years ago

Angel Wings(sub female) - Great post!!

5 years ago

Little momma(sub female) - Too many times I've talked with a "Daddy" who really isn't. Instead they are really just looking to prey on the little/middle/babygirl we are. They want the adoration we give our Daddy but don't bother to find out what makes us tick. They don't understand how quickly we can go into a tailspin from something as simple as not hearing "good morning babygirl."

5 years ago

TheAnt(dom male) - Lm, You are so right. I make sure I say it every morning to Kitty. She needs it and I need to give it to her. Being a Daddy is a full time job. AND the best job I have ever had...

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - That’s exactly why I wrote this post. In the hopes of providing some guidance.

5 years ago

CrimsonRose - Oh my goodness, so well put. Thank you for your post.

5 years ago

Massdomguy(dom male){Not lookin} - Very well said, I couldn't agree more!

5 years ago

Finished(switch female) - Great post! I’ve been curious about the rise of ‘littles’ and corresponding Daddies and Mommies this lifestyle. Maybe you could speak more to that? I’ve tried to look for info on the net but most just give cursory info on the role play aspect of it. But since you come from ‘old guard ‘ (which is my background as well) I’d really appreciate your take on it. Just for curiosity’s sake as I don’t have any little in me but this site does have quite a few and while I’ve read some blogs I still feel like I don’t really understand it from a BDSM perspective. ☺️

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Like you, DD/lg relationships were foreign to me. It was a far cry from my Sadistic leather days of high protocol. However, these two things are not mutually exclusive. One does not have to give up one for the other. Instead you learn to incorporate the two. I will
say, that was not so easy for me. My experience as a Daddy, May be a little different than most. In my relationships the term “ Daddy,” is inferred. I do not use that as any form of protocol. In my relationships, that “ role” needs no title, nor honorifics. It’s something that just is.
Since old habits die hard, I have learned to incorporate some of the protocols into this dynamic. This is what works for me, and mine. That may not work for everyone

5 years ago

venia(sub female){notlooking} - Sometimes the “broken little girl” denies her very existence.because it leaves her so very vulnerable. The Daddy that draws her out carries a great responsibility. He needs to be certain that he is truly ready to take that on that responsibility or he can do great damage.

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - It’s a good thing you have nothing to worry about ❤️

5 years ago

venia(sub female){notlooking} - I know that deep in my soul. ❤️

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - ❤️❤️❤️

5 years ago

ADIDAS - This is soooo very true!!! I just as soon stay a happy lil girl for MyDaddy and I think He likes me this way as well. I'm not really sure why we HAVE to draw out the brokenness in us, anyway. At least in me. Maybe for some it helps them reach that lil girl, for me, not so much. I totally wouldn't want my broken jagged pieces pulled out though. Not fun.

5 years ago

WhiteRoses(sub female) - It made me cry too. Not from sadness but the depth and the truth of it.

As I continue to learn I am realizing how much little there is in me.

The one who deals with and is responsible for everything. The strong one who handles it all.

A lot to process.

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - It is a lot to process. Take your time, connect with who your are, and most importantly, make sure you only give yourself to someone deserving.

5 years ago

PrincessChel(sub female) - There are so many more assholes out there who just want to be called a daddy than who really want to live the DD/lg lifestyle and dynamic.

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Amen!! Such is the reason for this post

5 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - Absolutely LOVE this post. Must be read over and over again. Thank you for the permission to share! ❤️🤗❤️

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Anytime 🌹

5 years ago

princesstae(sub female) - I been recommeded to read this blog and being new to the site and community this help me understand the things Daddy/Doms should get to know about us Sub/Littles. I now know more of how it shows if Daddy/Doms truly care and real or is fake thank you!

5 years ago

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia} - Glad you found this helpful.

5 years ago

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Wicked Ways​(dom male){venia}

Musings of a Dom .... D/s relationships through the eyes of a Dom

So You Say You’re a “Daddy”

Wicked Ways(dom male){venia}