taxi's ladies

warning: bad language used.

   His version of honor turned out to be the most fucking frustrating and honest to all of us  there is. 

   This is my story and I chose to include  this in it but all of us went through our version. When we came to him and told him we loved him, he would smile and say no you do not I fascinate and intrigue you but in order to really love me you must first know and understand me and before you can do that you must understand and know yourself to see if we can make it fit into a seamless dynamic. (I can see like me the w.t.f does that mean.) I asked him what he meant by that he said it is really simple you have only ever seen the  good in me the kindness,generosity, the love i have for those I care for do you know I am very capable of killing without compassion digging the hole burying them and walking away and never think about it again. I have done it before and am very capable of doing it again. And my only nod to the fact is that I only wear black. This is as much a part of me as anything else. I have looked into that place that many refuse to see in themselves and worst of all I  make my subs look into that place and come to terms with what they see before I will take them on. Stacy do you really want to look that deeply into yourself and see remember this is the same thing that caused your problems before but I will be there this time to lift  you back out of there put you back on your feet. So that you will continue to be a serviceable human being and good mother but you will not belong to me is this a journey you want to take the good part  is that you will be able to handle the worst that life can throw at you and be able to smile the down side is you will never be able to have me in the way you want I will just be the father figure you can look up to.

   Did Jane go through this? Yes and as a result she now walks around as she is now she can't help but broadcast love and peace wherever she go's and to my fortune has become the soul I thought I lost can you become part of my soul handle the responsibility for a man's soul help keep him as he should be not as he is deep inside. Do I want to go back to that place that made me insane can he keep me sane can I trust him to do that to take the bad and return only the good in me take the anger and replace it with love make the unacceptable acceptable? Is he worth the risk?  those were those questions going though my mind for the next several weeks. He did not rush me to make a chose or pressure me ether way he just continued being the strong shinning man that i fell for but did not receive the love I wanted and need from him.Kindness, compassion and care yes but not the love. sorry for know that's all I can write my fear is coming back.             

   Between that first morning and the next month I could see him for who he was through the way he treated the people and little one that here was a man who deserved the role of father and friend. If it was raining little one was coloring or reading in front of the fire in sir's office, on nice day's she would be outside with wolf walking by her side or sir on warhorse riding and on occasion sitting leaning against warhorse with wolf and reading out loud to them and even some cats and cattle  around. I watched her get stronger every day until she looked like a normal 5 year old. when she got tired wolf would run for sir who would come out pick her up and carry her to lay in his office under the covers and sleep. When Mari and I came up with ideas that would increase the profit his interests would generate he would listen to our suggestions and if the worked he would say good go ahead but he looked at things differently if the increase would hurt the employees or if they could benefit the employees more he would tell us to put it to use for them why and this is his words " I did not make this money off my sweat I make it off their sweat and they should benefit as much if not more then me". Now being a couple of working class slobs you can see what a boss like this could mean to us. when we explained that if they don't like it we can always replace them and his response "girls you can't replace experience check the retention rate of companies I have an interest in against other companies in that field" when we did we found that for every employee we lost the closest competitor lost five and most of the ones  we lost would come back.  I'll let Mari explain how he did that.

   How do you not fall in love with a man who from day one treated with respect always addressed you as miss would put business calls on hold to listen to your question and answer it even if he did not know he would make sure he got back to you as soon as he found out. Stood up when you entered to room waited for you to sit before sitting back down it was automatic with him. And would stop you if little one came  in with a childish question and answer it first as if it was the most important thing in the world. When he was done showing or teaching you some thing and answered all your questions stand up come around his desk hold his hand out to you and walked you to the door when it was over shake your hand or let you give him a peck on the cheek. And it was not just us it was anyone who came to see him if you were part of the ranch you were treated with courtesy at all times. At the end of the day if you came to him with a problem he would call the kitchen have diner brought in and sit with you till the problem was solved to both of your satisfaction. He was awake before you and went to bed after everyone else, he made  you feel everything he did was done for you. He lived by his own rules but those rules always were to  benefit you. so by the end of that first month Mari and I were both in love with him and wanted to give back to him everything we had and there is when we ran head first into the wall of honor as we joke about it now.            

    Mari said and? When Jane said I knew it would be you I was right to chose you to handle sirs dealing you just have an instinct when someone is lying or leaving something out. First let me say sir knows nothing about this if he did he would avoid you all like a plague and he would spank me for at lest 2 weeks straight. I am hoping that one of you will fall in love with him and want his child,it is the one thing I could not give him the treatment for my breast cancer rendered me sterile and Dena died before she had his baby and he never took another woman close enough to do it with. There I said it and yes that is how much I love him. To say we where dumbfounded would be an gross miscarriage of understanding. That was when sue spoke up and said don't worry ladies sooner or later I'll trip him and land under him Jane smiled and said yes she has been trying since the day they met so far he has avoided her best efforts but I can tell he is getting weaker. I said I don't understand some thing how does a man turn down a young woman is he that old, Jane really laughed then and said not as far as i can tell well we have stopped having a noon-er but still have every morning and before bed no It is just sir's way he will not have sex with a women he does not own and he will not have sex with a women who does not love him. It make it hard for him because like sue he knows she loves him but she has not committed to being owned. So you see it is not something you really need to think about because you would have an even harder time then sue. Mari asked and why is that. Because of your situation's Mari you are perfect to learn sirs interests and keep them going after, but you are far to young for him to show anything but a  grandfatherly interest in and Stacy because he would think you are just trying to say thank you for giving you back little one.

   OK challenge issued I could see it in Mari's eye she was going to have this man see her as a woman not as a granddaughter as for me she was dead on I would give him everything I had for what he gave me any woman would. 

Next how my mind went from gratitude to real love. and changing a Dom's mind that was the real challenge. 

    I woke to the most beautiful dream my little one was shacking me and then I realized it was not a dream. I could not help it I started  to cry witch upset her until I told her they where happy tears she hugged me and said mommy pop-pop says not to worry we wont ever be apart again until I get married and that a long way off. I looked at her ans said pop-pop? yes that's what sir James said to call him because sir James was not proper for a girl my age to call him according to aunt Jane. and dad was not right because I was his ward not his daughter but it is really the same thing but you and he aren't married so pop-pop will have to do.(are you as confused as I was with out my coffee) good, she hopped off the bed and said sir started coffee and he put his sticky buns it the oven to stay warm (that's what she called cinnamon rolls) I'm off to the main house for breakfast pop-pop says I must be next to Jane when we have meals but for you ladies to take your time as you are just figuring things out he said you would know what that means. and like that she was off.

    I lay in bed for a little time just trying to absorb it all in and wondering to myself what this all meant and came to no conclusions, before getting up putting something on and going to the kitchen found every one else up and sitting down to coffee and buns with debs saying wait till you taste them he makes them from scratch to his moms recipe and they are to die or kill for present company. The boss has his own coffee blend the milk is fresh from the cow. and when Mari and I sat down and tasted everything we had to admit she was right, then Mari said guy's do you have any idea what we are doing here sue and debs just looked at each other and said well I know why sue and i are here as to why he wants you two I have no idea but don't worry I;m sure he will explain or Jane will, around the second cup of coffee and buns with Mari on her third were such a little girl can put it I have no idea but she eats more then the rest of us and is thinner the the rest of us even Jane If you could believe it. there came a knock on the door and in comes Jane 6 inch heels thong and bra and that's it debs looks over and says oh an official visit Jane smiled and said yep now go make me tea be back in a sec; water is already on the heat. 

   Once she had her tea and sat down she just said OK shoot whats on your minds, Mari spoke first and simply said that's what we want to know what are your plans for us. Jane smiled and said that's up to you she turned to debs and sue and said are you happy with what was dropped in your laps they both said yes but were worried if they can handle it she smiled and said of course you can for the last few years you have been to every board meeting and asked me all kinds of questions after do you think other "security" people are allowed to sit in board meetings of course not you were there to  learn how things are done sir way with me leading and that is what you will be doing from now on only in a field that you know from the inside out,and sir will be there if something comes up that you don't have an answer for on you own. and even if you mess up the worst that can happen is a little time bent over sirs knee and you will like even that. Mari for the next month you will be learning both personal and business etiquette the same for you Stacy but you will also be learning the financial operation of the family business because you have a brain for numbers and the personal stake of making sure little one will have what she needs and yes both sir and I know how special she really is and just how lucky we are to have her.           

Hi guys just thought I'd let you know we are going to be doing some house  hunting for our employees. it seems that some yahoo in California want to pass a law that if you leave the state you will have to keep paying taxes to them for ten years and frankly with the way things are back there he may get his way and our employees most of witch are  single mothers are worried so have asked us if it is possible to move to Colorado before to long. So we said Welcome to the real America.

Sir James: I practice the velvet glove way of life always use a velvet glove when dealing with your lady but make sure it covers an iron fist for other's, those who need it.  

Jane: If you can withstand the beatings that life will hand out to you long enough you will find that the good spirits will put the peple in your path to help you along the way. This is how I found my sir. 

Sir James: lesson now that you are old enough to make babies remember what you are feeling is something chemically induced from a time when people considered 28 an old man because every day was a survival just to eat. Wait do not give in to what it tells you it was my experience that I was 28 before I grew up mentally enough to handle being a parent and for some it may be even later wait because lust and love are  very different you will know when the right one enters your life something inside you will awaken it will ring through you differently then lust that is the one and it will come  only when you are  ready you can't hurry it so wait. Because if you move to soon you will only hurt the one you think you love.   

   Mari: I thought I would include the words to one of the lessons sir left behind this is not the whole lesson but I thought it was profound en ought for this type of site. 

                                                                             coming to terms with myself and my needs

I was born to what I can only describe as a rabid feminist who seriously believed all she needed from a man was his seed. And today she is alone and I think is comfortable with herself. So I was raised with this in mind but for me I enjoyed the feel of a man in me but I also found love in the arms of a woman. So I used men for that little pound of flesh until I met a man who simply said no not with force but as gently and as kindly as possible.

   But here I was in love with a woman and falling in love with a man and wanting them both in my life forever. After taking it to debs and bit of discussion she finally said she understood completely what I was feeling because she was feeling much the same only not having a sexual urge to it she just wanted to be protected by him and loved she told me she would never leave me but she well understood my need of him and said to go for it. It was not so short a talk but you don't need to hear it all and it frankly is not something I want to share. 

   So there I was filled with a need that I had no name for and questioning was it a need or a want. This is were I was so lucky to have two well trained and experienced submissive ladies to talk to. They more then anyone else helped me separate my needs from my wants. They helped me figure out my needs and my wants, by the simple expedient of showing me why I even started having these feelings for sir I need having a roof over my head sir provided that food in my belly again sir provided that clothes sir and myself from salary expensive clothes provided by sir and everyday clothes provided by my salary again by the job provided by sir. These things started me on the  road of wanting sir they explained to me that this was a normal reaction but not a necessary reaction. Lets move on to the lesser needs this may be only found in the female of the species respect and kindness these are the two things that can only be provided by someone else (I'm talking outside respect not self respect) these have been given to me by 4 people debs, Jane,jenny and sir in abundances.Notice nowhere have I mentioned sex that is because these are things provided by love not sex. Next was my submission was it something I wanted or needed for me?  Both told me that they could not help me with that it was something I had to determine for my self.   

   After a long and bumpy internal fight I determined it was a need on my part to express it to live it and to enjoy it. And most important accept the rewards of it.        

                                                        wanting something desperately is not always the way to get it. 

   When I first herd Jane say the words to me about two years after I started trying to get sir James in the sack and I might add bringing Jane a big source of amusement. This is after I saw him take Jenny to collar I still did not understand Jane finally took pity on me and told me why he would not give it to me when she said "because he only take's what he owns" she went on to explain after seeing the complete lack of understanding on my face yes "I mean he owns us me and Jenny" you see before you two very imposing business women and we are but you must separate the business from the woman, see business is what I do it's not who I am. Even in that I'm a bit of a fraud it has my name on the door and I make the decisions but I don't own it. This is my sir's company it was his money that started it his choice to put me in charge because I had the experience to manage it and run it but sir owns it and he owns me he keeps me me so that when I walk out of this office I leave it all behind and I have the freedom to be me in his arms and Jenny's. So if you really want to have my sir you will have to give him all of you not just your body. Next learning to keep myself and turn all control over to someone else because that is what I did.            

                          The oh sh** moment is not when you stare into the pit, that moment is when it opens it eye and stares back.

   when we got to the hot tub we both decided to go without clothes,Jane was sitting on one side sir was on the other head back eyes closed enjoying the jets Jane waved us over to sit by her. we talked about all kinds of things for what felt like hours but really wasn't long enough to wrinkle the skin at some point sir stud and said I'm going to start diner be about two hours she looked at him and asked what we are having. H said it's hot today steak  and salad suit you why so long? I have  to make the dressing and have too cut and marinate the herbs. And with that he left. with him gone looked at us and said part of you duties will require that you attend formal diners with us and other social  occasions have you had practice in that we both shook our  heads and Jane said not a problem I'll give you a book then we can practice before we go to any of these things.

   I had a little moment while thinking of all the things sir did that made me want to submit to that marvelous man when it dawned on me it all started that first day that  first hour when I found myself in his arms on the ground he had me I was completely at his mercy his arm was so  firmly  around my neck he could have snapped it with ease yet in the same time it was gently holding me in place instead of being angry when I got up I was horny. I am very carefully not saying I was in love what i am saying is the door to my hart was unlocked and opened just a crack and if sir had responded to my advances at that time the door would have closed and locked again and i would not have experienced true love the kind he wanted me to learn. 

   Next I learned another thing about this man Jane brought us upstairs to a room that held many of her dress creations that were not for sale because they are not commercially viable in other words they are made for women with perfect fits you know model bodies deb's and I had them because genes and exercise made it possible  we did not strive for it and to be honest were models had fat we had muscle to fill them out. when we dressed and Jane let us look after make-up and she did our hair we were  knock outs. So unlike what we looked like in our non fairy tail life, I say fairy tail because it was starting to look  too perfect and the cabin could almost look like an old castle from before they were made of stone.(we found out later that we were closer then we knew as it would take a tank to damage this place). And we did ask why we were dressed like this she said all the women who live or work in the main house dress for diner as do the men. when we got down stairs every one but sir were in the living room having drinks this included the stable girls and men as well as the wranglers who weren't on duty tending the heard. Two women were setting out food hot on one side cold on the other room temp in the middle on a side table designed for this. When everything was out sir came out of the kitchen and announced diner was ready he then walked over to a little alcove and changed out of his cooks outfit and into a diner jacket and pants and got himself a drink he came back just in time to hold Jane's chair to sit she had made his diner plate once every one was seated I noticed he waited to make sure every one else was  seated before he sat he then made a toast to his employees before starting to eat. later when we had a chance I asked about the little ritual and she explained that it is one of sir's ways she called them he made  sure that those he was responsible for are provided for first before  eating or drinking anything as well he has a small adobe cook fire and fridge that have a stew and  bread and both coffee and cold drinks outside for those working through night or day and something for the odd visitor who may come off the trail as he calls it there is even a small guest cabin that some one can bed down in and even clean up.             

   Sorry but I always wanted to use that line. O.k. lets get the stats out of the way first I am 5'8" in bare feet 36c-21-36  and a natural red head I keep my hair long and in a tight braid. And yes I was the girl mama warned you about as far as males went yes I enjoyed them and always gave them cab fare,no shower at your place thanks for the ride have a good life.But to be fare I was the same with girls too until Deb's and I got together she didn't try to tame me.

   He impressed me from the start when he tested Debs and I and I realized that I just got beat by my grandpa well, I wanted him when I look back on that day I understand now that we were out matched from before the first blow was struck. When I was on the ground with his arm around my neck and my only chance of rescue was in the same position on the other side of him and that during the fight he had taken every weapon off me without me realizing it at the time I felt completely deflated and defeated. On our way to clean up John helped fill in some gaps for us he first met sir James 15 years ago he was a guest trainer for the first class if seals in  hand to hand as well as marksman with the then new mp4. he then held up A finger and said  into the air yes sir I will inform them. You must have given him a  work out he say's to meet him at the Jacuzzi if you are shy there are clean suits in the bottom left draw of the vanity it's clothing optional Jane will be there so you know it will be her asking the questions so you know you pasted his test. 

Damn this is hard for a couple of reasons I'm not like the other ladies I'm introverted not shy and I don't do a good deal of writing never mind talk emotions in general about myself so you see the problems. Add the fact that it was  very slow in coming because it was not one single thing that made me fall for sir it was an accumulation of many small things and a love very different then i was used to seeing in others or myself the love I share with debs and the  other ladies is not the same as  what I had with him. I guess you could  say they showed me a deeper kind of love then I had ever felt before. One that did not have a bases in the sexual but in the emotional. After learning the lifestyle that sir and Jane shared I thought I understood but again I was wrong because I like most went to the sexual side the kink factor of the life it was not until I really talked to Jane that I started to see things the way they did. Now I can feel the eye roll from here all I can say is you would have had to know her the way we came to know her to understand. For the one's out there who might look at things this way think of Jane as a emotional broadcasting em-path stuck on love and that would be the closest I can come to describe it. 

After talking to the others they tell me  to just take my time and write what I feel at the time and don't over analyze so that is what I will do  

   We are starting to see the wisdom of our sir and Jane. We knew there had to be a reason that he choose us and I think we are starting to understand. We are good friends from the beginning and now we are bound by motherhood as well as the bond we have with sir that makes us more then friends in some way it makes us sisters and wives. Because of this we will never be alone from the beginning they called us a family and we are They both knew that someday we would  have to stand together and for that we would need a range of different abilities at our core.   

                                                                                       THE DYNAMIC 

                                                                                            BY JANE

     The dynamic the world see's is  a round ball of mirror steel. And inside is the world that we live in it is worm and safe, hot and wild, it is lust and pain, it has one hart filled withe your blood loaded with all the good you have made together to feed the shell the world see's and therefore protects you from the outside this then is the perfect dynamic. Once you understand this you will then create your own dynamic of perfection that the world can not break and find the peace you need.