Sometimes, admitting that you're wrong is even more difficult than explaining to your landlord that the rent will be late because you got fired for using the office computer to download milf revenge porn again.
Wait - I meant to say that it's easier.
My mistake.
The best part of not having any friends is that no one will ever know.
(Or so I assume.)
The best surprises are the ones you don't expect.
When you see the profile of someone you were involved with a long time ago and it says that now she is owned.
You remember back when she was your sub and you ask yourself "when did all this happen?"
And you just hope that she's happy.
(She knows who she is.)
ok, I'm actually not hahaha. I just wanted everyone to read that and think "Oh no, my good frind LJ is in crisis! I must make haste! He needs me!"
No, no, I'm just fine, but this post is head related (as are all the best things in life.) I just wanted to get your attention so you would read the rest.
In the months between mid-2016 and today, I have aged about 17 years. Life and stuff. But - for better or for worse - I pretty much look the same.
-Ish.
I still have the same long, lush, flowing locks for which I am world renowned, maybe a few percent fewer than I had that first year, but still pretty far from noticeable.
-Ish
But I am not going bald.
I do have a very close friend who is bald.
I hate him.
I estimate that he started losing his hair in his 30's, and one day he decided Fuck It and started shaving his head - and got about 12x more laid as a result! We would walk into a room together and suddenly every eye of every woman would be on Mr. Shiny McBaldypants. After which point I may as well have stayed home because no one ever even noticed that I was there. He is that much better looking than me. Totally hate the guy.
Those here who have actually seen me will attest that I am approximately, somewhat, on a good day, in a moderately average, non-threatening way, a more or less not unattractive man. But if I am nothing else, I am one of those men who has made it well into middle age without a single grey hair. Not even one.
All of my friends around my age have grey hair. All of them. Some dye their hair to try to hide it, which looks so totally Walgreens that no one is fooling anyone. One friend even wears a bandanna everyday to cover it so no one will notice, which only serves to draw the eye toward her head, which is where she keeps all her grey hair, so everyone notices.
Yesterday I was gazing into the mirror, doing... mirror stuff (shut up, you do it too!) and I saw a strange sight. I wondered "Is the lighting suddenly different in here?" and "Did someone sneak up behind me and scare me to death when I wasn't looking?" and "Should I unearth ancient scrolls and perform sacred, nasty rituals of spiritual forbidding?" and "Wait a second..."
That's when I saw it -
My Very First Grey Hair!
It was kinda over there in the right temple region. I looked at it for a couple seconds before deciding "Yeah, that's pretty cool. It looks good on me. I can totally rock the whole single, solitary grey hair look."
I think it is, and it does, and I can.
For now, I can only imagine that one day I will again be doing mirror stuff (shut up!) and there will be another of those "Wait a second..." moments when one will have become two, then three, and so on. But for the present I am kinda liking it.
ps: "I Think I'm Going Bald" is a song from the 1975 album Caress of Steel by the rock band Rush.
That's right kids, back in the golden olden times there were these strange, magical things called record albums. Some of them had special covers that you could open and read about otherworldly things such as "lyrics" and "musical instruments" - which actual humans actually played!
They were also what grand-dad used to sort his pot.
...you realize that of all your friends you really only like fewer than 2 of them.
It happens all the time. Someone is into something which you are not.
(Before we begin it is very, very important to understand that I just pulled this whole next paragraph out of my ass. No offense intended, just a attention grabbing example so keep reading.)
Let's say you are into poo. Which no one is. Sorry shitters, but gross, ick, pew!
They say to you "gross, ick, pew, how could you possibly be into that?"
Ok, moving on.
I just made a joke there about a scat fetish but it was sincerely just a lighthearted reference to a recognizable scenario, and totally, absolutely not a judgement. It was used only for effect and to make a point. To all those among us who do poo, I meant no disrespect.
I too have been asked that very same question many times about some of my kinks. I suspect we all have.
Here's my point. I don't understand a lot of fetishes. Even super common things like being a sub. I get it in theory but from a personal perspective it makes zero sense to me - yet every single day I'm grateful that it is a thing. I wouldn't have it any other way.
My opinion has always been that my fetish is no better or worse than anyone else's, and vice versa. I don't need to understand yours, or you mine, to be totally cool about it and god bless all of us, each and every one.
Fetish shaming, or whatever term you use, is a thing, it's fucked up, and needs to be stopped. To anyone who is guilty of doing it - Not Cool!
So here is what I'm asking everybody: is it just me or is "how could you possibly be into that?" kind of an insulting question?
Why do I keep seeing this profile:
BDSM and me -
I LOVE humiliation and degradation! Love it love it love it love! Degrade me and humiliate me and then between degradatons humiliate me more and more and more! Oh, and degrade too pleeeeease!
Limits -
no pee or poop or anything toilet or bathroom related. and no spitting or name calling or making me kiss or lick the floor. please don't make me feel like I am worthless or gross or icky or just a piece of garbage. no parading me arond nude in front of your friends or in public or anywhere other people can see me. never put a collar or a leash on me or anything else that makes me feel like a doggie. never, ever make me be a table or a chair or let your friends touch me or make me touch your friends or make me kneel in front of you or them while you or they use me as a piece of furniture. please never, never, ever, please, never put anything in my bottom and stand me facing the corner while everyone laughs at me. please, please don't treat me like all I am worth is a faceless, nameless piece of trash that you can just degrade and humiliate whenever it pleases you.
- But definitely degrade and humiliate the shit out of me! I love that!
wtf? One of us is missing something.
I was talking to my friend about Long Distance BDSM Relationships and some of the inherent difficulties with them. My opinion was that no matter how much you like the person on the other end, no matter how much you trust them, or how much you both want it, there are just some things that cannot overcome distance. If all of us here, right now, got together we could make a list of a whole bunch of them. This is not a new concept or conversation.
Imagine you are a DD and your sub/little is several states away. You necessarily have a phone or cam or text-based relationship. Keep in mind that this is hypothetical so just go with me:
As a Dom you tell her, "You have been a bad girl. "She says, "Daddy, I deserve to be punished. Please spank me?"
Then this conversation ensues:
Daddy: Yes, you have been very, very bad. I will spank you. By text."
little: "Thank you Daddy. When I receive your text I will consider myself to have been spanked."
Daddy: "Yes, I am now spank texting you."
little "spank-texting?"
Daddy: "Um... Yes, or as I like to call it, Spanxting."
I started patting myself on the back, congratulating myself for being so clever. Thinking, Wow! By combining 2 fun words into one (like Bennifer, showmance, motel, spork, or funishment) in this case spanking and texting, I created a new portmanteau for the world of BDSM - "spanxting."
So I looked it up and much to my excitement Google was unable to find any such word!
Did I really just invent that???
Anyone???
I was digging through some old writings and I came across this one. I am not certain if I ever posted it here, and I don't recall the reason why I wrote it in the first place. As always, I don't expect everyone to agree with me but I think it makes for an interesting perspective on something that we all insist we dislike in others: being judgmental.
The thing is...
Being non-judgemental is overrated. It's also potentially harmful. The problem is not in being judgmental but in being an asshole because of it.
Imagine this general, unfortunately common scenario:
A person of a particular race or ethnicity is walking up the street toward you. You think:
"Oh no! This person is a stereotype, this person has a bomb, this person is going to explode me, oh no!" (lights own hair on fire.)
You have judged the situation - rightly or wrongly - as well as the person, and the perceived danger to yourself.
But does it matter?
Because now you must make an affirmative decision to continue on your current path, take another path, or stop and do nothing. It is this decision and action that makes you an asshole, or not.
I'm a fan of analogies so forget the heavy bigotry stuff and enjoy this instead:
You are standing on a street corner. You look both ways and think:
"Oh no! This street has traffic, this traffic has lots of cars, the cars are going to run me over, oh no!" (lights own hair on fire.)
You have judged the traffic - rightly or wrongly - to be such that trying to cross the street would be hazardous.
But does it matter?
So far all you have done is make a judgement, but still you must make an affirmative decision about what to do. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Do I walk across the street?
Do I run?
Do I try to avoid the traffic myself?
Do I assume the traffic will avoid me?
Do I try some combination of these?
Do I just stand here and not cross the street at all?
Once again it is your decision that informs your action which in this case may or may not get you dead.
So what do you decide to do?: walk, run, spin, whirl, dance, sing, finger, moan, cum, have a headache, whatever. You might stick your thumb up your ass and just stand there. You might step off the curb and go for it. You might just make it across safely. You might get run over. You might die from your injuries. You might not.
You make a judgement. Next you make a decision based on it. Then you take action based on that, even if that action is to do nothing.
So judge away! It just may save your life someday. But keep in mind - your judgement may be sound but if your decision is stupid and your actions are stupid and you get run over by a stupid car which culminates in your stupid death, it doesn't mean all cars are bad.
Thinking and acting like it does makes you an asshole.