A Dom's Tale ~ The journey there and back again

    The enshrouded pathway beckons me travel onward with the unfulfilled promise of a destiny unrealized, and a soul unfulfilled. As I make my way round the curves and valleys, the logical side of my brain begins to question my purpose, or my sanity, though both seem intertwined upon this journey, this quest, this all encompassing search for the Holy Grail.

     Several endless years have now passed since I made my first footprints on this path, and I can tell you no reservations that the cost of this path is greater than any other path of its nature.  This search for the True Bdsm Dynamic, this quest to find the one who will complete me, fill the jagged valleys while I fill hers, complete me as I complete her. While I could regress into my past a bit, and enjoy some physical encounters from time to time, I know in my heart that they would leave me hollow inside, and more alone than before, so I abstain, and endeavor to persevere in my quest.   

    So my mind wanders to purpose and process, do I need to revise? I read a blog today where a lady was hoping someday to be "won", I suppose like the knights of old.  But, submission cannot be won,  it must be offered and given freely to one who is worthy of keeping and safeguarding it.

     Nor can it be enticed by a Poet laureate, a vanilla mate may succumb to such words and writings, but a submissive, a true submissive is far too strong to have her mind so easily tempted.

     So what of the ancient ones, could she be simply sought out, and dragged back the cave? lol, she might enjoy the hair pulling, or the primal pursuit,  but those pleasures of the flesh could never cause the act of submission by themselves.

    Which brings me back full circle, watching, waiting, walking, and hoping. But at least I have the pleasure of knowing how much  I have personally grown on this journey, how my eyes have been opened to possibilities I never before considered. And if in the end, the True Bdsm Dynamic escapes me, at least I am grateful for the journey and the friends found along it's path.

~~Just points to ponder~~

ID

I made a recent contact with a very nice lady, she read several of my blogs (perhaps all of the even.. whew!), as I returned the favor of reading her blogs I could not help but notice she had made contact with the dastardly bastardly SUPER DOM! Not her fault at all really, we all know that twerp is always looking for new people to try and impress until his sugar coating wears off and all thats left is the smell of poo!  So ... thought I'd repost the ol bugger as little refresher and a fair warning to all the newbies so they might spot em coming faster!

I am one in a million Baby!
(I'm harder to find than a covid mask at a Trump Rally)

(hee hee -- had to)

You MUST call me Sir and submit to my will 

upon hearing my name! I mean .. I would!

I am ALL POWERFUL,

(resistance is futile Earth-Sub!)

I know how to act in a restaurant

(You heard me order your submission... right? )

I have eyes more powerful than dracula!

(You are getting sleepy! So take off your clothes and run to me .. blah blah!)

I am MASTER of every kink there is

(And a few I keep safe from the world!)

I can read your mind

(So stop arguing about what you think you think!)

I know exactly what you need to hear!

(Now if I could only add some truth to it)

I never make a mistake

(I mean, we both know YOUR always in the wrong, so make it up to me sugar lips!)

I am cool, I am classy, I am debonair!

(So bow down baby, help me comb this hair!)

I attract subs because I am made of catnip for subs!

(Don't make me send another "pic" of lil' super-dom!)
(or at least give me time to google another that looks the same)

I have but one weakness ....REALITY.

(as long as we avoid that, you will be mine forever!)

Ooops!!

   I wrote this several years ago, still so very true today, but as I get closer to finding me, I know I am so much closer to finding her ...

   I do not know if I have met you yet, that part of my future still seems so cloudy and uncertain to me, yet it is a distinct possibility. I see glimpses of you everywhere, I can almost feel your breath upon my chest as I hold you in the night... in my dreams.  But... I do know that I will keep searching for you until God takes me from this Earth, or until I find you. God, if you hear me as I rage against the dying of the light, my voice drowned by the raging storms of life, grant me this one request, bring to her this message of promise, this message of hope, and let her know I am coming..... I just don't know exactly when ...

    Kinky, vanilla, hetero, same sex etc etc etc - the potential combinations of relationships is as varied as sands on the beach, yet all the same in some waya.  Hollywood sends us one type of message, another was programmed into us by our experiences growing up, and even more by our experiences with relationships in general.  And like a long running train, our baggage car gets more and more filled if we are not VERY careful!! 

   We take our shiny new dynamic, apply the lessons of our past, the curses of our parents, the expectations of society, and when we are done, we have managed to do to our shiny new dynamic what Tommy did to his sale in Tommy Boy, and being the masters of the universe that we are, we manage to drown it to death before it ever leaves the ground. Now it may not die right away, sometimes these poisons take time to seep into the soul of the innocent dynamic. So what are these things we need to make damn certain are NOT in our baggage car?

   Fear - fear of the unknown and fear of the known, Judging our new friend by the sins of the past. A woman crossing her legs in public doesn't make her Sharon Stone. She wasn't trying to flash you, impress you, manipulate you (ok .. maybe), most likely she was ummm ... crossing her legs.  Just because your ex crossed her legs when she cheated on you, doesn't make it a world wide sin. So when that little birdy whispers past life warnings in your ear, kick the shit out of it and throw it out the window.

   SPEAKING OF ....

   Nothin perplexes like your exes - This new person is NOT YOUR EX. So don't treat em like they are . period. I don't care what they do or say that somehow mimics your ex . get over it!!!  Carry nothing, compare nothing!

   Be Brave - Don't let your mind talk your heart out of a chance to be happy.  What is your long term goal? Isolated loneliness? You gotta let somebody in man, at some point if you ever want to be happy again, you gotta let somebody in. Now I am not saying introduce yourself and profess your love, I am just sayin take your time, keep your options open, and ALLOW yourself to be loved by another. 

   In summary, yes, you can spend your life being miserable and alone. But a life shared is twice as rewarding as a life spent alone.  Can I promise you that your happiness is around the corner? No, nobody can, and you are going to take some damage sorting through people and finding the right one, but take it easy man, take it slow, say yes to dating slow, and if it isnt right, get out and try again. They key is in trying, and not carrying baggage forward,  Remember that ex you just cannot stand? Why let them ruin or even have any effect on your future happiness - be rid of them, and walk free,

   Just like alot of you, I am still walking the road too, ever hopeful that someday I will have the True BDSM Dynamic.

~~Another ID rambling~~

   Try as I may, I am far from perfect in this electronic world I find myself forced to participate in these days in search of the True Bdsm Dynamic.  It is a difficult place to converse in, especially for an ENFJ such as myself.  I have always had the benefit of using all of my senses when getting to know somebody, to read their body language,  listen for changes in their voice,  the touch of a hand, the true stories always told by the eyes. Is the laughter genuine or forced, and so many other things, but together, they always gave me a good picture, and I was able to temper my own output by reading how it was being received so as to never overpower the recipient. 

   So here I am now in this world, blind as a bat, doing my best to read between the lines, and never knowing how it is all being taken, Now, without tooting my own horn, let me tell you, I can be a bit overpowering of the ol senses, I can hit it pretty strong in the written word, and I'm willing to bet I've made more than one run for the hills by being so. But at the end of the day, that's who I am too, A monogamous hopeless romantic who counts on his instincts and intuition more than ever, feels strongly about matters of the heart and it's potentials, loves even stronger, and would put a Vulcan Mind meld on you in 20 seconds if he could so he would know you inside and out in an instant, then on with the dynamic!  lol.  

   So in summary, the electronic world is a great place for information, but methinks it kinda sucks for getting to know people, especially those of us who rely on ALL of our senses when doing so. But, it's the world we live in, so all that is left is to adapt and do our best to cope with it all.  

~another ID rambling~

   My incomplete heart detects your effervescent presence without any revelation of direction. Only that you are there, you exist, and like me, you yearn for completeness with all your being.  The task to find you has been daunting to say the least.  I search endlessly without success, We wait with the patience of Solomon to savor the tastes that await us within the fruit of Xanadu. 

   I do not know how to find you with any precision. Nor do I possess the knowledge of what to do to make you able to see me with your eyes. And so we must trust that fate and destiny will sit at our table and take a hand when the time is right. Perhaps we need to develop more, learn more, or be more open to accept each other. Whatever the requirements, we both wait patiently, our only security lying in the fact that we sense each other, we feel our heartbeats pounding through time and space with a singular, resounding, fully attuned beat. 

   Just trust my love, my future, my destiny .. I shall endeavor to persevere ......

~ Just another rambling letter to my future ... ID~

It's about what we don't see, are not sharp enough to pick up on, or are prevented from seeing by a master of illusion.

   I recall a time just before the holiday season started in 2010. I had stopped at the convenience store to grab something or another, and ran across one of my oldest friends, a man I had known some 35 years. We stood and talked for a bit, laughed and joked like normal, I gave him some shit and he gave me some. We said we had to get together soon .. maybe play darts. pool, who cares! It was great to see him, he always brought sunshine wherever he went, and always did.

  Two days later, he checked his son out of school early, dropped him off at his ex's house, told him he loved him and the boy went inside.  Chris went home to his garage and committed suicide. I have been over and over that for the last 12 years, usually around the date of his death, and you know what... there were no signs.  No indications of how troubled his soul was.  No warning lights. We all learned later that his current wife had told him she was seeking a divorce, and was planning on leaving him broke and homeless. And it would come to pass.  When hjis first marriage ended, he told her to take whatever she needed to be happy, luckily she was not an evil soul, but she took the lions share, and he never said a word. BUt this new wife ... She was "that" type - absolutely beautiful,  until you got past the looks and found the monster - the one that, well.. And he would have allowed her to complete her task, he just didn't want  to fight about it all I guess. I won't go into the events just that it is true.

   So as we go through yet another holiday season, be kind to people, especially this time of year.  There are alot of people out there, and I guarantee you in here as well, that are living in tempest in a snow globe.  Looks like its snowing on the outside, but inside it's a tempest and they usually won't reach out, just like my friend. So show the people you interact with that this ol world ain't so bad a place, and help em feel its better with them in it. Rethink your own actions before you lash out at somebody in anger, regardless of the reason. Two songs follow, 1 for Chris, and 1 for you.

Just my 2 cents

~ID~

For Chris (I play it for him at least once per year)

For you.. maybe if enough of us do this