Secret Window

I have a question for (anyone with knowledge pertaining to) littles!

I previously stated that I was interested in ageplay, and believed that I would identify with age 5-6. I have thought about this quite a bit, and have come to the realization that I don't feel like I regress at all; I really don't fit the "norm" of ageplay.

Could this be because I have never experienced this lifestyle personally and have never felt comfortable enough or persuaded to? I have never met/known a Daddy Dom figure, so maybe it just hasn't been brought out yet?? I'm wondering if I'm not necessarily an ageplayer, but moreso have little-like tendencies, and it's just a part of my personality as a whole. I know, without a doubt, that I gravitate most towards Daddy Doms, but does that have to do with ageplay?

I love blankies, stuffies, cuddles/affection, being read to, drawing, really just all of the "typical" little things, but I have always loved those things and they are just a part of who I am on a daily basis. I don't feel like I have a "little me", but just me. Maybe I haven't met her yet, or maybe I'm not really an ageplayer, rather just immature =0

Or, of course, maybe it's Maybelline. Who knows at this point...

I have no idea if I am explaining this correctly, or if I just sound like a buffoon as usual. I really am quite terrible at putting my scrambled thoughts into coherent sentences.

I'm curious if anyone has an opinion on this, and any input is greatly appreciated. I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis, and that's a little worrying at my age. 

I hope that y'all are staying safe and a bit more sane than myself! 

Flabbergasted. Astonished. Dumbfounded. Stupefied. 

All fitting words for how I feel right about now...

Early this morning, I received a message from a Dom asking if I "ever considered an online dynamic". 

First of all, I have very clearly stated that I am not looking for a relationship at the moment, and that I am most certainly not looking for an online one. 

Secondly, this was the third time that this person had sent me this same message. With each message, I took the time to respond out of courtesy and kindly let him know that I was not interested in a relationship (I should also note that he never acknowledged them or responded back). 

By the time the third message came around, saying word for word the same thing, I was fed up. This is the exact message that I sent in response:

"With all due respect, this is the third time that you have sent this message to me, and each time I have responded stating that I am not looking for a relationship. I truly do not mean to be disrespectful or unkind, but I would appreciate it if you would please stop sending me this message. Have a nice day =)"

Next thing I know, this person has blocked me. 

...huh?!

My purpose for posting this is to ask y'all if I was out of line in any way. I genuinely want to understand if I spoke out of turn, and how to handle this properly should this situation arise again. How else could I phrase this? What more could I say?

In all reality, it was probably a blessing in disguise; I really tired of seeing that same message pop up over and over again =P

Any advice is appreciated =)

-"Ripley"

"You lived for the touch

For the feel of the steel...

The smell of resigned leather...

He taught you all he knew...

One man, and his honor"

I have read quite a few profiles on this site over the past month or so, and I am really curious about something I've noticed. There are some people who say that they have no limits and others who have extensive lists, but one of the things I see almost across the board is knife play. Why is that? I have seen a few people who say they enjoy shaving their subs but do not like knife play, but isn't that considered a form of it? Also, providing that all people are tested and clean, why is blood such a hard limit for so many as well? Is it just a matter of cleanliness, or do a lot of people get grossed out by blood?

So many questions, so little... well, on second thought, I actually have all the time in the world at the moment.

I, personally, have always had a curiosity surrounding knife play. I like the idea of my Dom having something that has the potential to pose great harm, but also having such complete trust in knowing that said harm would never come to me while in his hands. Blood feels... personal, intimate, almost bonding, I guess. I'm not quite sure how to explain my feelings on that one..

I still feel weird talking about all of this, but I really am doing my best to become more comfortable with myself. I'm also just a naturally curious person, but that tends to get me in trouble sometimes, so we're not going to talk about that =P

In other news, I have officially gone stir-crazy and am now watching House for the fifth time.

Send help.

"Past the point of no return

The final threshold?

What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn

Beyond the point of no return?"

Andrew Lloyd Webber (Phantom of the Opera)

Hiya!!

For starters, thanks a bunch for stopping by! I hope for this blog to be a place where I come to share my thoughts, interests, desires, and things that I enjoy or make me happy. In doing so, I also hope to meet new people and make some friends; I absolutely love talking to other submissives and hearing about their experiences within the lifestyle! Simply, I wish to express who I am, whether that be through sharing my deeper thoughts that I never have before, or adding lyrics that may or may not (whatsoever) relate to what I am talking about =P

As for who I am... 

Well, I am a nineteen year old girl that is just beginning my journey into the wonderful world of BDSM. I have many interests that I plan to discuss here some time in the future, but this will be just a few random things that I can think of about myself as a type of introduction.

I love to read, cook, paint, and sing, though I'm not very good at the latter two. I absolutely love listening to music (metal, to be exact) and I grew up watching horror movies. I have an incredibly difficult time trying to pick just one favorite of anything, so for the love of all that is holy, please don't ask me to. I've been in love with Johnny Depp since I was about three years old, and its my life's mission to watch each of his movies at least once. Playfulness and a good sense of humor is incredibly important to me; I am very sarcastic and dry and a lot of people often do not understand when I am joking. Take pretty much everything I say with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila =P

Anyways, that's a bit of who I am and my introduction to all of you wonderful, beautiful people. I hope that you have a fantastic day or night ♡

I need to come up with an alias so that I can close this...

Ripley, signing off.