Getting an a.m. text message saying it's over when you are expecting "good morning babygirl" really sucks. More than sucks when you were surrendering the most important pieces of you to this person. And while I was muttering what an ass-hat he was under my breathe, the truth was my heart was asking where do I go from here.
These are the things I won't do:
1. Re-read our texts and stare at his pictures. In fact, experts say to get rid of them. So, they are deleted. Well, except the video with my favorite sound. I couldn't bring myself to do it just yet. I won't watch it or listen to it; I just can't press delete, but I will when it's time.
2. Look for him here or on any social media. I don't want to hear how happy he is. I want him to be happy; he is a good man and deserves it; I just don't want to know about it right now. I also (after this post) will never talk about how I am feeling about all this. It serves no purpose.
3. Binge eat or shop. I would love to sit in front of the TV binge watching "Fringe", eating Coffee Ice Cream with hot fudge; I would feel good for a time spending hours shopping on Amazon- but none of that would be in any way effective. So, I'll put on my walking shoes and take my fur babies on walks. Maybe do an extra hour of Zumba or Dance Groove. Karaoke to some Tina Turner always helps.
4. Revenge sex. Sexting or irl...not a good idea. I won't even go there.
5. Jump into a new relationship...again. To be fair to him, I came looking after my first Dom and I parted ways, and although I care for him, I had no business opening up my heart so soon (soon-ish) maybe this split wasn't all his fault, maybe I attributed those things I loved about #1 to him when he didn't really possess those qualities. Maybe he did. Whatever happened, for whatever reason...I hope I have learned my lesson.
6. Give up hope. I'm ok on my own, but I don't want to be alone, so I won't give up hope. I choose to be thankful for what #1 and #2 taught me, I choose to wish them well, and I choose to move forward.
So to Dom #2,
I will miss you, and I will mourn you- mourn us, but I will be ok. So will you.
