Odyssey had an article about the 5 things that kill your LDR (Long Distance Relationship) 10/12/15 written by Solange Patterson.
1. Lack of communication The writer stressed that conversations need to be about more than “How was your day?”
I think that my partner and I do pretty well. I found some compatibility questions and we spent a night going over them. The other night we watched a movie together and talked before, during, and after...I like to get into deeper philosophical and political discussions and he is always open to that; he always listens to my rants and ramblings as I listen to his.
2. Unresolved fights When we have such a short amount of time to spend together in an LDR, we tend to push our disagreements to the side and that can build up over time.
I get that. I tend to be a stuffer, I don’t say anything and then suddenly it gets to be too much and I erupt. I need to work on that. My need to reassure and make everything run smoothly can be a big problem in this way because I tend to put aside my feelings which can lead to hurt and frustration. I have to say that my man never lets me sit on something for too long. He is always drawing me out, which is just another reason why I am so grateful for him.
3. Infrequent visits Make sure your significant other is a priority.
Whether you video conference or plan short visits, it is important to put them first as much as possible. With lives going on in different towns, sometimes different time zones or countries, you need to plan to see each other at least once a month. If you don’t plan for these times life can get away from you, and it's easy for the relationship to get lost along the way.
4. Not making time for your S.O. Sologne Patterson states,” Not having enough time for your partner is one of the main reasons long-distance relationships don't work out, but it's also the most selfish. Think of all the things you do in a day, all the people you talk to, the TV shows you watch, the video games you play, even the time spent doing absolutely nothing. Love requires compromise and sacrifice; if you can't put aside one hour of doing one of these things to make your significant other feel loved and special, then it can't work out.”
The author is correct. I have a lot of wasted time in my day, there is no reason for me not to have time for my man. I wouldn't be in this relationship in the first place if I didn't think he and it were worth it.
5. Not trying The only thing that can ever really kill your relationship is when you stop trying.
Someone suggested we use the app Love Nudge. It’s based on the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It is a great way to help me remember to fill my partner’s love tank and to try to incorporate more things that meet his love language. The first frenzy we experience in a relationship comes and goes. Successful, healthy relationships don’t come easy...they take work, but they are worth it.
