Drawing the line for Taboos

Drawing the line for Taboos

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Nov 18, 2022

Just because I'm naturally curious, where do yall draw the line at for taboos.

I never thought I'd have to be specific with my hard limits until a single conversation of being asked if I am okay with incest. They asked if I was into age gaps and incest. I feel like age gaps are okay unless it's a minor, but incest had me asking what they meant. After listening to why they want to mess around with their family, I realized that I need to specify how hard of a limit that is for me. How does one politely recommend help.

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 18, 2022

You might find this other discussion thread of interest: https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=4534

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 18, 2022

Speak your mind. Draw your lines hard, fast, and unequivical. Tell him "No." and that's it.

As for recommending help... you can tell him this goes beyond "kink" and into the realm of sick. But as with everything else in these times we live in, one can only speak for themselves. Perhaps this guy watched too much porn where there is an entire category of implied "incest"-- porn actors with similar looks pretending to be related going at it on camera.. All this tends to make it all seem "OK" .

You can suggest he get therapy for this, but he's going to likely dismiss it as "your opinion" and indeed there are no bedroom police who will bust him for banging an adult family member or vice versa. I'm not even sure it's illegal in various jurisdictions so long as they don't end up having a baby out of it.

Through it all, your best bet and only plausible recourse is to tell him "No, thanks. I find that idea repulsive and unhealthy, and I think you should seek professional help because incest is just plain sick." --- and walk away. Break the conversation and move on because in all likelihood, if he's open to discussing this type of sexuality with people like you who he has not known very long, he has been told to get help already but already convinced himself it's fine if everyone involved is down with it. That it's beyond "twisted" can even be a turn-on in and of itself. A "forbidden fruit" kind of thing.

This, as with anything else one might find unacceptable and beyond the pale is what "hard limits" are about and those who break those limits should be ruthlessly discarded from your life.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 18, 2022

"Drawing the line" and "recommend[ing] help" are two different things.

There are socially drawn lines and individually drawn lines, many, if not most? kinks land on the outside of the socially drawn line. That gets into questions of how and why certain lines are chosen.

From a scientific standpoint, members of the same family procreating can end up with less than stellar results genetically. Then there's religious strictures. Kind of ironic in some cases, for instance, Judeo/Christian scriptures purport "God" created Adam and Eve, and all of humanity originated from them. For some, that can muddy the waters.

Recommending help is making and imposing a judgement (right or wrong) on that other person vs drawing a line for your self.

Chalybe​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2022

Agree with TSG,
Some people I have run into think it is pretty sick to tie someone up and take a flogger to them. Tieing someone up and taking a flogger to them is considered assault and battery in most places, even between consenting adults, New York State being an exception.

And reading the linked thread, some sub females seem to enjoy the activity discussed here. Actual incest is illegal in most of the US I believe, if not all. If it is a fantasy between two consenting (unrelated) adults, who is harmed? They are more likely to stay out of jail than me with my flogger.

TSG, I'd like to direct your attention to exhibit B, Genesis 19:14 where Lot's daughters get him drunk and have sex with him, the verse then calmly gives the names of the resulting children, no big deal.

I think we need to be careful when we start to kink shame. Tell the guy it squicks you, fine. Telling them they need help? I don't think that is appropriate.

As the old saying goes, people who live in glass houses....

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Nov 20, 2022

Fyi: Incest is illegal across the United States so not only should it be a hard limit, engaging in incest can send someone's ass to jail.

https://www.justia.com/criminal/offenses/other-crimes/incest/#:

There is a HUUUUUUUUGE difference between age play such as DD/lg, and incest. Too many confuse the intent of the two.

The former is about embracing your own innocence while providing a target for the Dom's need to embrace their own gentle side, while the latter is an unhealthy sexual attraction to a member of your own family. While it is natural for there to be emotional closeness between family members, sexual closeness is a emotional disaster waiting to happen.

We all know how horrific is can feel when a romantic relationship goes south and how devastating it is when marriages end. Now imagine it being with a family member you connected to through blood.

And then it gets compounded when there are children from those relationships involved.

No, incest should NOT happen, period. Leave it for the porn and erotic stories. Leave it to fiction, please.

Kurai Mori​(dom male) • Nov 22, 2022

I realize that I am new to the site, but I did see the portion of our profile - that is titled 'Limits'. You could put inside here, that anything of an illegal nature is a hard limit. Which would act as a catch all.

Taboo's are a strange and murky part of the lifestyle. There is no good answer for them - because at some level, somewhere... everything can be considered taboo to some one. At one point anything that wasn't regarded as pro-creational intercourse was considered deviant and to a degree taboo. Even oral sex...

So, if someone was to float a topic to me that I found to be off-colored. Or what I refer to as 'Ick' - I would simply explain, that wasn't what I was into. And have no further conversation with the individual in question.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Nov 22, 2022

I'm not saying I support incest at all, but obviously, if someone is talking to a non-relative about matters of a sexual nature, it would follow that they are talking about a fetish roleplay rather than the real thing. This would fall into a my-kink-is-not-your-kink type of thing, and if that is what someone is into, then it's really between them and their potential partner. Any potential partner can say no thank you, but honestly, there really isn't that much difference between this and certain flavors of DDlg that cross the age-play line. Yes, DDlg is predominantly about creating a safe place for the little to vulnerable and protected, but that isn't the case for everyone. Clearly, when someone is planning to do incest play with a non-relative, it would fall into the realm of fantasy rather than reality.

For many, (including me) calling a dominant "Daddy" brings up a lot of quasi-sexual connotations of a questionable nature related to my past relationship with my father. Potential partners who love being called Daddy have balked at this simply because of what it meant to me. It touched a nerve and they didn't want mixed messages being combined with their role as a dominant, so this grey area goes both ways on both sides of the slash.

Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 23, 2022

I would draw the line on anything that would get me in legal trouble, and/or harm my reputation and standing.

However, I understand that in some areas, the laws against certain kinds of sex between consenting adults are stricter than other places; I am talking about stuff that probably SHOULD be illegal everywhere. And besides the obvious, things like, if my domme asked me to be involved with the drug trade in any way, or aid her in any other illegal or unethical activities. Or engage in public play that would be inappropriate to other bystanders, like being asked to walk down the street naked except wearing fishnets- maybe in San Francisco or New York City this would be acceptable, but certainly not where I live! (But indoors In a private club setting, exclusively among other kink-sters, however....that might be rather exciting !)

No blatantly gross or immoral stuff like animals, minors, though (yuck!!) or incest as the latter really doesn't do it for me.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Nov 23, 2022

There's some stuff that I'm fine with for others but intentionally don't let myself get into just because I don't think it's healthy or appropriate. Like forcefeeding, I can see why it's a fetish but it's juuuust not something (in excess) that seems like a good idea to do regularly or "seriously". Also not a huge personal fan of exhibitionism in the same regard - leads into other fetishes that I'm much more confident in not being comfortable with.