Verbal Humiliation

Pixie1984​(sub female) • Dec 3, 2021

It’s a fetish and so hot

cynthiajoy • Dec 4, 2021

Humiliation = Love

No Body​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2021

Yes, humiliation is common and can bring on feelings you never knew you had before. You must understand there should be a beginning so to speak. Start out slow and find what you like. You're a worthless dog or filthy pig is a start. Then as you get to know yourself get dirtier and harsher as you go. Starting out slow also makes it so much better because there is no place but down to go. So go find that one who will tell you what a sorry pig you are and let them know they are right.

LordofPain56 • Dec 5, 2021

Not sure if this is a good answer to your question, but here goes...
My view has always been that verbal humiliation would have negative undertones including foul name-calling and insults that may not even be true.
My long profile (which has never been on this site) said that I do not engage in verbal humiliation.
However, it also stated that if girl trespasses by breaking the house rules or the relationship rules, those are serious offenses which will initiate a scolding and pointing out her specific wrongdoings (along with a physical punishment).
One might think that having your errors pointed out to you, even in an intimate setting might be taken as humiliation. It shouldn't. It shouldn't be taken as shame. It should properly be taken as GUILT!
Also, one might think that being tied spread-eagle in the standing position stark naked awaiting Masters whip might be humiliating, although, that's not VERBAL humiliation.
The point of my method is to give correction and forgiveness. It's not about humiliation.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Dec 5, 2021

For me, verbal humiliation is one of the deep bonds i can have with an intimate Top/Dom/Husband. For a long time, the paradox of it was a mystery for me, but i think i have come to understand it.

We are all conditioned by culture. We have notions and ideas that have been planted in us, taken deep root in the emotional part of our brains, beyond reason. It's possible (probable?) that some/many of those emotions are passed on genetically as well. The point is, we have them and they run deep.

Juxtaposed against those can be needs and desires that contradict our conditioning. They may be labeled as "kinks" or "fetishes," but if they are essential to us as individuals, (i.e., part of our essence) , i think words like "kink" or "fetish" are just ethnocentric terms controlling culture has come up with.
So we grow up in, are part of a culture that believes and has conditioned us to the point that we feel our particular kink or fetish is perverse, dirty, bad, ___________. We may cognitively believe otherwise, but our feelings often do not aline with our reason.

i think that is the power behind humiliation. my Husband/Top/Dom may get me to a place, handling my need to please Him and using it to connect us with one of His desires, like using His piss for breeding and marking His territory. With skill and understanding, He can get me to a place where i am drinking His piss from His cock, and actually craving it. That can be a deeply arousing and fulfilling bond between us, but it also has a decided element of humiliation when He can smile and ask me: "Do you love being my toilet." Consider what you are feeling right now as you read that last question. For me, this would evoke feelings of humiliation, but would also be deeply arousing and bonding because it is also affirming a desire in both of us, that bonds both of us. To me, this is "bondage."

Zedland​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2021

My thoughts on Verbal Humiliation are fairly simple. For some people its almost a role play, they get to be the "wanton, cock hungry whore" and all those other things society says you should not be. It becomes a release value for all those dark, terrible desires we have but generally refuse to acknowledge. All in the safety of trusted company and complete privacy.

Others want to be broken down so they can be built back up. Taken down to the lowest depths only to be yanked up and reminded that they are loved, cherished, and needed.

And still other just get off on it. And who am I to judge?

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Dec 5, 2021

It’s definitely a fetish and, although it seems to be common, everyone has their terms that they’re okay with and ones they aren’t.

If you’re a submissive that likes name calling, be specific about the ones you like and don’t like. List them. Be clear. If you’re a Dom and you think you have thought up something great to call your submissive, ask her first before springing it on her in the heat of the moment.

For me, I like to be called some things, while others would completely turn me off and make me feel bad. On the other hand, I like to be called nicer names too so a Dom would have to be capable of a little more “traditional” romance too.

I'mME • Jun 27, 2022

I would say humiliation is not a fetish for everyone.

A fetish is something that is needed to get off sexually. A kink is something that could turn you on but it's not necessary for you to get off.

I'mME • Jun 27, 2022

You can not dictate what a sub feels, so this is why negotiations are so important I'm the beginning.

starlightsss • Jun 27, 2022

Verbal humiliation, to me, is a fetish. Verbal humiliation does look different to everyone, so like others have said, it’s extremely important to have that conversation with your partner(s). You guys could determine what topics are on and off limits, when the humiliation can or cannot take place, if there could be an audience, so on and so forth. It isn’t for everyone, so always be sure to ask.
Verbal humiliation, personally, is very arousing. It adds… color, to the experience. I thoroughly enjoy being spoken to in a degrading way.