The call comes over the speakers
We spring to action
Hymlic forces air out
The smell of peanut butter in the air
Quickly we put him on his back
No pulse and faint respirations
1,2,3,5,6,7,8,9,10 breathe
4 sets later a gasp
Turn to the side and sweep the mouth
No fear of being bitten
I have to save him
Back to his back and pulse check
No respirstions faint pulse
We start over same thing
Push breathe sweep
Somehow 911 is called
The medics swoop in
We stand shocked
Watching as they try to save him
I finally make it out of the room
My nursing face on, a stone wall
The captain looks at me and knows
He tells me how big my heart is
How I make their days better
Time ticks away
His life slips further from me
I watch as we loose him
A hand i6n my shoulder
A knowing set of eyes look at me
My wall breaks
I take a deep breath
Give the rookie nurse words
Encourment support and love
He needs to take a break
When they pronounce
My heart stops
It's my turn to walk away
Tears fall as I rush out the doors
The sun beats on my face
The breeze makes the tears cold
And I calm down
I go back in to see him in bed
Haphazardly placed
I get my girls and say we need to care for him
I strip away the signs of the fight we gave
I make him look as we remembered
I cry through the whole thing
My girls saying it's ok go sit down
I tell them no they dont have to do it alone
I hear whispers "J is doing postmortem care"
Others say I'm the only LVN who will do this with them
I tell them because we are a team
I say goodbye to a special soul
I know my heart will feel it later
For now I have to be the warrior
The support for my staff
The strength the family will need
Tonight I will find my place
And let it all fall out
Tonight I will remind myself
I AM STRONG AND I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
4 years ago. March 4, 2020 at 12:53 AM
