Freedom within slavery... The journey to me.

Covering Ceremonies             

 And the word "Master" 

There are many different views on what a Covering Ceremony is, this is just my own interpretation of what I know.

A Master's Cover is a leather Cap - which is called a Cover (never a cap) , it is worn on special occasions like High Protocol events - for example, Collaring Ceremonies, High Protocol Dinners, Leather gatherings, Covering Ceremonies.

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Covering Ceremonies can be organised by someone in the Community, where many people are invited and can be involved, or it can be a more personal and private ceremony with just the Master's close friends and Leather Family present.

So basically, there are two types of Cover, a Community awarded one, and a Family awarded one. I am going to explain the Community awarded Cover.

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The Cover is presented to a Master in a special ceremony, usually conducted by someone important in the Master's life, and usually someone of good standing within the Community, often another Covered Master.

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The Cover is presented as recognition of the Master's contribution and commitment to the Community in which He or She is a part of. It is usually done in front of invited guests, and usually the recepient is not aware of it until the very last minute.

The Ceremony starts with a speech about what the Master has done for the Community, it is usually quite detailed, almost like a resume of sorts I guess. Then other guests are asked to speak about the Master, what He or She may have done for them personally, the kind of person He or She is, or simply validating what has already been said, these are testimonials.

After that, the floor is opened for anyone else who may wish to share stories or comments about the Master.

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Then the Cover is presented, sometimes the Master will kneel, sometimes He or She will sit on a chair.

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It is important to remember that there is no real blueprint for a Covering Ceremony and not all are conducted in the same way. When my Master received His(a very long time ago), it was a very emotional moment for everyone. Listening to so many people stand up and speak about the kind of man He was, and what He had done for the community reduced many people to tears that night.

This explanation now brings me to what the word “Master” actually means, and who should use this title:

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The word Master is used in different ways.

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It can be used within a relationship - your dominant is your Master, so you call Him Master. No one else apart from His other submissive has the right to call Him "Master", because He is not their Master.

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It can also be used as a title for someone who has "mastered his or her craft" - It is important to remember that the term Master is actually non-gender specific which means there are female Masters as well as male Masters, though it is more widely known to describe a male dominant - this is slowly changing.

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A person who uses the title Master within the community, should therefore be someone who has a fair bit of experience, and who is well respected by people. It should be someone who has taken the time to learn, to research and to put into practice what has been learnt. Someone who is knowledgeable and respectful, but yet does not claim to know it all.

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 It should not be someone who has walked into this lifestyle 6 months ago, checked up how to do things on the internet and simply decided that calling him or herself master sounds like a good idea in order to get more play!

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My Master was known as Master Tramp within our community and there were many people who referred to Him using that title. He had been around for a long time, He had a huge amount of experience, and was well liked and well respected by most.

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The word Master can also be used as a professional working title - AS a Professional Dominant for instance.

This is just my experience nothing more. I'm sure many will find this outdated but this is a piece of my life …...so if outdated, then so am I.

One final note. For me as a slave, a  Master should demonstrate skills of mastery within himself or herself. 

How can you "Master" another in life if you have not infact Mastered yourself.

Keep love and respect in the lifestyle

Humbly

slave Draconica

Slave Training

What is the goal and is it going to be achieved in slave training?

My purpose is not to hold your hand, but provide a step by step process to follow when training a slave. Keeping in mind that the foundation of the BDSM lifestyle is the informed consent of the parties involved. Many questions will arise and I would suggest that you always error on the side of safety both emotionally and physically. Spending additional time to discuss issues in never a problem. You have to trust each other to move alone this patch together.

Not everyone is suited for the bdsm lifestyle or wants it. That is why communication is important. Both parties must know what is involved and agree to proceed. There is usually no single step from the vanilla world (without bdsm) to a master/slave relationship. It is a gradual journey you take together with mutual understanding, communication, agreement and growth. Take the time to let trust grow.

I get many emails from submissives that want their partner to be dominant and in the lifestyle and from dominants that want their partner to be a submissive in the lifestyle. My advice is always the same. Not everyone wants this lifestyle. For the relationship to work both parties have to understand it and want it.

If you started the relationship vanilla (without bdsm) then it may remain that way because you can’t change the parters mind or make that decision for them. Yes, you can discuss it with them and see if they are willing to try it but you can’t force it on them. This is a lifestyle of personal choice not force. Many, many times the answer is no the partner does not want to live a bdsm lifestyle. In that case, you have to honor the partners wishes and remain vanilla or find a new partner. It is that simple.

Even if your partner has a dominant personality that does not mean he wants to by your bdsm lifestyle dominant. Even if her basic personality is that of a submissive that does not mean she wants the bdsm lifestyle. It takes both personality and a desire to be in the bdsm lifestyle. The term “informed consent” is often used in the lifestyle. Both parties know what is expected and agree before starting.

A slave begins her path into slavery by giving up choices. Often a slave contract clearly states both parties requirements. A slave needs to go into this with her eyes wide open. The purpose of this guideline is to train her to the point she is worthy of being a collared slave girl.

A master should design her training to mold her into the type of slave you desire. If you wish a sex slave, then teach her those skills. If you require domestic, then train in those skills. A Master trains a slave to fit his needs. She can be trained to have many skills if required.

A new dominant in the lifestyle, first must learn to Master a slave girl and conduct safe training and BDSM play. Get help if needed.

Many in the lifestyle follow the Goren ways. This came from a series of books written by John Norman about life on the mythical planet of Gor. It is not necessary to follow this brand of the lifestyle. Masters have been training slaves long before the books. I, like many relish the books, but prefer my own style of training.�A new slave will find the lifestyle crammed with slave positions, protocols, speech restrictions, rituals and rules. It is not an absolute, to have all these, but most new slave girls respond well to them.

Slave; hear me; it is not necessary be experienced as a slave or at BDSM

The need to have prior experience at bdsm is a myth many future slaves worry about. Every Master has his own brand of training techniques. Listen to your Master, hear his words and become the best possible slave girl you can be. Never fear your dreams of slavery, embrace them, and you will learn fast. Ask questions when in training, in order to understand what is expected of you. If in silent protocol, remember the question and ask when speech is granted.

A Master becomes a slave’s personal trainer. He guides her into her future. In these pages, I give the trainer sound methods to accomplish training his slave girl. The core of slave training is an art form albeit based on knowledge and skills, found in logic and reason. These pages are geared towards training slave girls and dominant men, but can be used to train slave boys and dominant women. The roles are the same. As always I would suggest you talk to those already in the lifestyle for advice and help. Find a local community and you will more than likely discover people with many years of experience willing to help. In addition there are many websites and be sure to explore them just as you do this one.

Compliance versus Obedience

Submission is not about being a better submissive than others, true submission is about being a better submissive today than you were yesterday.

Master said, “The dishes need done.” I replied, “Yes, Sir” and did the dishes. Did I comply or did I obey? The difference lies solely in the reason why I did the dishes. If I did the dishes so I would not disappoint my Master, did I comply or did I obey? I know it is my task as my Master's property to do the dishes and I agreed with my Master they needed done, did I comply or did I obey my Master? If I did the dishes to avoid disappointing my Master I complied with my Master's order but if I did the dishes because I knew they needed to be done and wanted to do them then I was obedient to my Master. When I do something to avoid something else I am in compliance, when I do it out of agreement and desire, I am obedient. 

In the one instance, to avoid disappointing my Master, I am in compliance. If one day I decide today it will be OK to disappoint my Master, he will not get too upset if the dishes are not done on time, just this once I have just decided to be in noncompliance. Compliance always has the option of noncompliance. If I did the dishes because I agree with Master's wishes and therefore want to do the dishes as much as Master wants me to do the dishes, I am in obedience and since it is my desire there is no reason to disobey. Obedience does not allow for the option of disobedience. *See Words below

The first rule I was taught when entering the D/s lifestyle as a submissive was to obey every order without question or hesitation. This is simple and obvious especially when one agrees with the order. When the order is objectionable, not what you want or agree with, obedience is not possible but compliance is and from the outside there is little discernible difference, so we comply. By definition, a submissive has a strong desire to please and to obey, it is an inherent and unchangeable part of their nature, it is part of who they are. This leads to a problem in the mind of the submissive, on the one hand is the irresistible need to please and obey and on the other is the order to do something objectionable, disagreeable. Compliance is the temporary solution. The mind of the submissive needs to resolve the conflict because compliance is not sufficient to satisfy the needs of the submissive. A submissive will always move in the direction of accepting the task, it is their nature to please and obey and that moves them in the direction of obedience. Trust and respect of the Dominant are always key ingredients from outside as well a patience from the Dominant. Impatience can put up walls and barriers that only block progress toward obedience. Here the Dominant must have great trust in and respect for the submissive. Trust their submissive is working to resolve their conflict and respect for their submissive and the limitations which all humans have, submissives included. Obviously the submissive must also trust and respect their Dominant. By this process, in the mind of the submissive, compliance becomes obedience. **See Limits below

As compliance becomes obedience, any possibility of willful disobedience starts to vanish. The will of the Master becomes the will of the submissive. The submissive is now doing everything because they want to do it and for no other reason. Their wills are now in alignment in all important matters. The submissive has no concern of needing to do something they do not wish to do, they are free to do whatever they want to do. Only through an alignment of wills can this be achieved, there is simply no other way to achieve this. For the submissive it is a place of calm, a place to enjoy the serenity of submission. There is a special title for submissives who reach this place of honor, that title is slave. It is said, a slave is a submissive who serves without limits. Limits are eliminated when the will of the Dominant and the will of the submissive are in alignment, they both desire the same things and limits become useless. This is how the term slave is defined. It does not require a different type of submissive to become a slave, it takes a very special type of relationship to be a slave and one is only a slave as long as they reside within that relationship.

*Words How obedience and compliance are defined for this discussion may not be as they are commonly used today. They were chosen by people more skilled in language than I. As I understand it, if one goes back to the origins of the words obey and comply, one does find this difference in the two words. You obey because you want to, you comply because something is forcing you to.

**Limits. I know a lot of people are going to object stating they have very hard limits. (please excuse the poor grammar.) What is usually thrown up are things like scat, children, cutting and other unusual kinks. To be honest, in over twenty years in D/s I have never encountered a single person into scat or children or cutting. They are extremely rare kinks to start with. So it is extremely unlikely any perspective Dominant will be into something many consider very distasteful but always inquire before accepting a collar. Also, before accepting a collar, discuss any emotional issues you may have that could interfere with your service. People have been raped or otherwise traumatized. This could come up and cause distress in D/s unless it is discussed and a reasonable resolution agreed upon before collaring. Discuss all medical and emotional issues and resolve how they are to be handled prior to any collaring. If you and your perspective Dominant can find an alignment of wills on the most important issues prior to collaring it will assist your greatly later. Here an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

How to Develop Rules & Protocols

What is the difference between rules & protocols?

Rules are absolutes for which failure has consequences. Protocols or “Devotions” are acts of commitment which are expected.

You “can” Start by answering a few questions for yourself as the dominant: 

1) What level of “supervision” do I want to enforce in the relationship. 

2) Do you want to enforce rules that pertain solely to the submissive training or do you want them to be “lifestyle” in their context. 

3) Is the submissive already “submissive to YOU or do you need to enforce rules to correct “willfulness”. A willful submissive must first conquer “themselves” before you can conquer them. A dominant can help by enforcing rules that will highlight the submissive’s willfulness to themselves. Rules “can” teach Masters/Dominants “preferences” to the submissive Rules “can” modify a submissives typical action to meet the Dominants desires

4) How important is the submissives “growth” as a submissive to you.

By establishing rules that help a submissive grow both as a person as well as a submissive heart can help them improve their value to you by making themselves more exact and intuitive in their service as well as more fulfilled in this lifestyle.

Once you gain an understanding of what the rules you establish are trying to accomplish the next step is to “draft” a set of rules: In drafting a set of rules it is helpful to break the rules into categories of rules:

Rule Categories: 

1) Relationship Rules 

2) Imagery Rules 

3) Sex rules 

4) Internal Interactions 

5) External Interactions 

6) Household  

Relationship rules include: • How questions will be asked • What freedoms the submissive will enjoy • How conflict within the relationship will be dealt with and resolved

Imagery Rules Include: • Dress, clothing, symbols (collars, cuffs, etc) • Body Decoration • Physical Attributes, cleanliness, hair, make-up, diet, etc • Body  

Sexual Rules include: • When, How, Where • Who can initiate • Restrictions (orgasm, masturbation, etc) • Incorporating others

Internal Interaction Rules include: • Personal Freedoms (when to eat, speech, bathroom, movement, etc) • Supervision of Actions • Permissible actions, • Speech Rules (How to talk, appropriate references, appropriate conversation, etc)

External Interactions include: • Vanilla Rules • Scene Rules

Household Rules include: • Permissible location • Where and how to sit, stand, sleep, etc • Chore Responsibilities (Laundry, Cleaning, Cooking, Valet, etc) • Entertainment Responsibility (Organizing, coordinating, etc) • Money 

Once you have come up with your own set of rules, it is time for you to sit down with your sub and discuss/negotiate them.

Then go through a trial period. • Try them out both for the dominants as well as the submissives sake. • Perhaps a rule creates more “work” then the dominants wants to be responsible for. 

How to enforce rules in a “consensual” relationship • Physical vs. non-physical enforcement • What is discipline versus punishment 

Discipline “teaches” corrective action 

Punishment corrects willful disobedience • 

Types of Discipline • Physical Punishment effective or not?

Confusion with Play OR can Ruin the fun of Good Fun Play

How and when relationships should take a step back and review what they have put into place, and just who's responsibility it is to do so in a D/s relationship. Warning signs: Submissive withdrawing Lack of communication Loss of Self  

Responsibility lies with BOTH.

Submissive/slave less likely to want to bring it up for fear of displeasure. How to make sure each person is getting what they want out of the relationship without breaking or violating the power exchange.

Don’t settle for everything is alright Rules & Protocols are a way to keep continual training/reminders and motivation going.

First Rule - a clear open line of communication needs to be established & kept open at all times.

Be clear & concise on what you need to feed both of your minds and souls. Establishing rules & protocols together gives both of you a starting point to grow from.

To live a D/s relationship, the life of a slave, to me, is not based on the romantic notion that Master keeps her locked up or in chains with no say at all. It is a relationship built on trust. Allowing her to live in an inescapable emotional state, that allows her to consensually live as more than Master’s property.

Rules/Protocols and Devotions are all part of slave training ..which involves more than just modifying a slave's behavior. The slave's emotions, self-image and thoughts are all a part of training and have to be given equal consideration 

As relationships grow, the Rules/ Protocols will reflect on each situation that arises.

At that point sitting down to review your set of Rules/Protocols are advised. Some will still hold their meaning to both of you, some may need to be modified. Remember that even though the slave is your property she is also a human being, with complexities and her own mind.

Being a slave in a 24/7 Total Power Exchange does not mean she does not have a voice. She should be encouraged to ask for what she needs to continue her growth.. ask for time outs and/or down times .. when something is not clear .. ask for a guidance in the matter ..

This article is provided courtesy of Candice Sandra 

The Nine Degrees Of Submission

The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist

Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms for the masochist's own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one's own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism).

Pseudo-submissive non-slave

Not into even playing “slave”, but into other “submissive” role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.

Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave

Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being “used” to gratify one's partner's sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave's” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).

True submissive non-slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).

True submissive PLAY slave

Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant - but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)

Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave

Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress/Master, but, either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he or she will serve.

Part-time consensual but REAL slave

Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress'/Master's “property” at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life - practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one's time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave's free time.

Full-time live-in consensual slave

Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren't socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time “slave” arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.

Consensual total slave with no limits

A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the “consent” is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim.

    Article: Missbitch

I wanted to touch on communication for a moment.

In this lifestyle it is the air in the lungs of every dynamic.

Now I have seen D types use the zero communication as punishment.

In fact I have had it imposed on me. 

The feeling I got destroyed me. So with that said was it affective? 

For me, no. It broke trust for me. The trust I had believed I could come to Him with anything and He would listen. 

Even destroyed whatever "play" looked like.

As we were very primal, I lost trust in Him and in myself to be able to let go. To allow whatever He was facing to be taken out on my flesh.

With this being a LDR.. communication was truly all we had while apart. 

I said all of this to ask this question,

What are your thoughts from both sides of the slash on communication, and lack of communication as a punishment? 

Keep love and respect in the lifestyle

slave Draconica

Growth on this beautiful journey is so vital.

Is it just me? For most s types, even daily structure, and rituals, things sometimes seems robotic? 

I know when I was in my former dynamic, some mornings it was like I could do it while still walking around asleep. 

For me I felt it took beauty away from my service. I felt bad for just doing it as routine. 

When the shift I had from submission to slavery. Totally different mindset from the years I spent as a submissive.

I think it's very important to remember to grow, even in the tough times. And to also understand, that growing, just as a child will have some growing pains. And without rain flowers cannot grow. 

I said all of this, to get to this point, remember even when you're struggling with anything, lifestyle or not. This too shall pass. Sometimes like a kidney stone, but it's gunna pass. Stay strong and trust the process.

Keep going, when you get to where smoke clears at the top of whatever valley you have been climbing out of, the veiw is a beautiful one. For you and the ones that see you.

Keep shining. 

As always keep love and respect in the lifestyle

slave Draconica

For many, MANY, years I was taught not to fall in love with my Dominant.

This partly was because I was trained to be poly minded and at any given moment, I could have been sold, traded, and or released.

With this said, this is how I PERSONALLY was trained.

When I post or write it is from MY personal experience, not that it is right or wrong, just what I have experienced. 

Okay with that said, over the years my veiws have changed. I do believe it is quite possible and sometimes inevitable.

I feel that when we create bonds within the lifestyle they are so very much stronger than a "normal or vanilla" type relationship. Again just my thoughts. 

So I post this question, how do both sides of the slash see the application of the emotional ties of love in a dynamic?

And as always keep love and respect in the lifestyle,

Humbly

slave Draconica

For me on this beautiful journey, I came to a point I needed more. I couldn't simply just submit anymore and be fulfilled or free. 

Let's look at the word submission. By definition the meaning means to submit. Like when you order something online, you submit the order. In which you can cancel.

When that reality came to me I was baffled

For days I meditated while kneeling (I do daily even though I am not in service)

I spoke to my mentor and she said sweet girl your heart's beats of that of a slave.

The light came on. I knew I was definitely service orintated. But a slave?

She was in fact very right. I had evolved into who I was created to be

For me I hunger to surrender all that I am for the one I serve.

All that I have be used for the betterment of Him and in return the betterment within myself.

Today, a TPE dynamic works

In the world I am very strong. At home, at His feet, to simply serve, to ability to surrender all at His feet and be free.

Enjoy your journey, and don't be afraid of who you are and grow and bloom

I promise you, for the one you were created for it will be such a beautiful sight.

Keep love and respect in the lifestyle

Humbly,

slave Draconic

THE CALLING

On my knees before S

At his feet, only Him shall I serv

Our dance has start

Just him and 

Looking to Sir through teary eye

As he bound my han

He bound my hear

With one touch we both knew.

Drawn together, we would never par

He reaches for me gently blinds my ey

The call of my submission He could not den

Will it be soft or will it be rou

My Dominants pleasure, I can't get enoug

I feel his Dominance calling to m

willing laying my submission at his fee

He lifts my chin, looking deep into my ey

As our precious gifts call to each othe

Neither could den

Within that moment we both kn

He whispered You're Min

I whispered back Yes Sir, You're Mine too

slave Draconia

slave Draconica