The Culture that has been here all the time

Not the "When Worlds Collide is a 1951 American science fiction disaster film . . . " instead, I refer to you when two people become associated in some way. Friends, romantically involved, marry, live together, become partners, and any permutation of these relationships.

Each of us has a unique perspective as we peer out of ourselves, survey, and interact with the myriad of possible realities before us. The Billie Holiday song from 1946 with these lyrics:

"Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
Them that's got shall get
Them that's not shall lose… "

Some years ago, I had a conversation with an acquaintance about whether pets and kept animals love their benefactors. He said he believed it was all about the food he fed them. This interested me because I immediately began to consider that what love came down to, including love between humans, was nothing more than a pragmatic endeavor.

Love, which includes procreation and security, can grow into a complicated set of emotions with homo sapiens. Perhaps "NEEDS" and "WANTS" explain much about the human experience. Can it be that what we describe as "LOVE" is only the tip of a proverbial iceberg in what we do to survive? Yes, we do have to survive, and over time, we rely on others and form "bonds" that can last a lifetime. A TV show from the 1950s uses that phrase. "this is one of a million stories," .

Some people may be puzzled by my "Caregiving" for my wife, whose severe cognitive issues place significant demands on me. I persevere with limited resources and minuscule help from people. I hope to meet a woman who will understand, come to love me, and help me in my situation. It seems to be a long shot at best, and experience bears this out.

A significant aspect and hindrance? If we have a mutually acceptable beginning (compatible), I can offer friendship and become her lover in time, giving her a home and as much security as possible. As a helper and companion, I would not expect her to be a nurse for my wife. That is my job. With her help, I could get back on track and keep my routine health care up to date, and perhaps our relationship would grow into a more profound commitment.

Blog readers, there are many good axioms about life and its patterns and cycles—truisms, proverbs, metaphors, and cycles.  Yesterday I blogged Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr wrote “plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose” — the more things change, the more they stay the same. 

I like "this too shall pass" a Persian proverb that conveys the idea that both positive and negative moments in life are temporary. "If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes"; this saying is often attributed to Mark Twain, highlighting how weather can change rapidly, especially in regions like New England. A famous axiom of life is "The only constant is change," often attributed to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, signifying that the only thing always happening is transformation and flux. "Time waits for no one" originates from the old proverb "Time and tide wait for no man," which first appeared in the writings of Geoffrey Chaucer around 1395. 

Google AI

Karma is a concept that describes the relationship between actions and their consequences, and how those consequences affect a person's life. The word karma comes from Sanskrit and simply means "action."

Why am I writing all these familiar sayings? I write them to remind us not to put too much fate in something good that is going on or too much distress in bad things going on. Deal only with what you can when you can, and move on.

So, friends, we all hope to find a perfect companion and lover, but is that realistic? My mother used to say a woman or a man should not expect that they could settle for someone and then make them comply with their expectations. That is not the same as having a good starting point and growing together based on trust, love, and desire.

You probably have seen characters in a movie or TV program who seem to have waited too long for a perfect mate and are living alone. Maybe that describes you? Or, you have read a novel or a story depicting a character in a similar situation.

Doesn't this phrase ring true?

In an elegy titled In Memoriam A.H.H., Lord, Alfred Tennyson wrote the line,

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

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Don't wait too long.

Hey, readers, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr wrote “plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose”

Not long ago, stuck in my home with the internet as my only means of socializing, I learned a great deal about relationships. Words are powerful when used by someone who knows how to use them. This becomes even more powerful if that person can sense things about the person they are communicating with. If they have an agenda (an especially nefarious one), they are able to guide the person into almost anything. Yes, salespeople are good at that, but so are "scammers" after nothing more than your money and disguise that process with a romantic program. Yes, it is a program because it is nothing more than an act as an act on a stage. I fell into the snares more than once; two were exceptionally costly.

There is much more to express, but my focus is better spent on when we need the comfort of a companion, platonic, sexual, or a combination. Introductions in this modern day of instant communications that can be global may lead a seeker almost anywhere with an interest in nearly anyone. I have a motto after all my mistakes: "Beware, deception is all around you." Reaching back to a phrase President Ronald Reagan, from a Russian proverb, "Trust but verify," is also a good motto.

My thoughts today are that nothing is better than meeting face-to-face. There, you can experience chemistry, compatibility, nuances of attraction, and more information about a prospective companion or lover. I know nothing is guaranteed in this life. Even the best-arranged relationships can lead to tragic or heartbreaking endings. I retreat, but somehow, I always seem to come out of my shell in the future.

My second wife was "love at first sight." All went well for years. We had a son with a severe heart defect, and she, an RN, assumed he would meet an early demise, so she left with another man. My reactions to the situation hadn't helped; I buried myself in my music and performances with my band. Dark days and nights followed. Pardon my digression.

My current wife is ill and will not recover her lingering offers no clue for a medical prognosis. Forty years in a monogamous and fruitful relationship seems to have faded into the past and is so far removed that I find myself longing for a woman with average intellectual and sexual ability. The only way this can happen in my experience? I must meet her personally, and as I have often read in online texts, "We'll see how it goes."

Becoming friends is a good start, but I remain open to any scenario as I am seventy-seven years old, and time is not on my side.

Oh yes, when all I have are my fantasies and memories, imagining using my mouth in an endless exploration of a woman is my way of getting solace. Her soft skin and tender muscles. Her nipples grow up to meet me. I gather her aroma and take it deep into my lungs as I explore. I can taste her just thinking about her. Her legs offer me a journey that ends with my flickering tongue on her clit. Before doing that, I French kiss her pussy and tease her anus with a light touch. I mumble this might take some time, my love, as I lick, flick, taste, and push my tongue in her pussy.

Now, what am I going to do? I'm going to watch TV as usual and dream that one day I can make love again.

Yes, we all have those mornings when we would rather stay in bed. I find it difficult because I have external forces that prevent me from staying under the covers (see).

my cat Sunny Day can start to wake me as early as 4:30 a.m. LOL.

You all probably already know and believe sex is not only a part of our lives because of procreation, but it is, most importantly, it is part of a healthy life. I know it is important because I live in forced abstinence. Google AI fast answer to the question:

"Yes, sex is considered a natural and healthy part of life, with research indicating various physical and mental health benefits when practiced in a consensual and responsible manner, including stress reduction, improved mood, enhanced intimacy, and potential benefits for heart health."

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 Health Insurance only covers sex therapy exceptions:
If someone experiences sexual dysfunction due to a diagnosed medical condition, like erectile dysfunction or vaginismus, sex therapy may be covered by insurance as a form of mental health treatment

Should healthcare insurance cover sex like prescription drugs because it has so many benefits?

I lost track of where my cousin in Switzerland lives, so now she can not send me an airline ticket and an invitation to live there. If Tina Turner's old house is for sale, maybe I could buy it.

My readers, I do have time to think despite constantly engaged in caregiving on the level of a trained nurse.

Sub, Dom, Dom Sub, who teaches who? Both teach each other.

The term kinky covers a vast set of parameters - from oral sex to restraints, whips, and psychological aspects.

I believe we all have things to learn at all levels. The first task is to define boundaries, and the second is to outline likes and dislikes. Then, practice and adjustments in the kink adventure. While all this is primarily centered on the sexual role, each must consider life together in several other aspects. The greatest is companionship based on trust and love.

Mistakes will occur, so it is healthy to have a forgiving heart. Giving room to grow into a rewarding relationship will ensure a quality of life beyond what conventional relationships seem to demonstrate. Why? Because in the BSDM realm, openness and honesty prevail, or it becomes just another form of convention and is doomed to the same ends that those relationships often suffer.

Enjoy each other for as long as you can.

Jim

Blog readers, I did not feel well this morning when I went to get my mail. At the same time, my neighbor did the same.

She said, "You don't look well today, Jim."

I replied, "You are correct; I am not feeling well." She knew I liked animals and birds, so she tried to cheer me up by letting me pet one of her cats.

Then she said, "Look up in your backyard tree. Some chickens have perched there to keep an eye on you. Maybe they can cheer you."

As I was looking up, I tried to take a picture of them with my cell phone,

but I got tripped by a rock and fell to the ground.