The Culture that has been here all the time

Hello Friends,

Making love for the first time with a new partner is special. It may begin with lust, but along the way, it becomes more. Or it may have grown out of friendship, and your emotional desire leads both of you to want to express your love for each other. It is when sex is great, and both are satisfied. 

On your way to the one-thousandth time, many things happen: emotional ties become bonds, variations in actual sexual action evolve to keep it interesting, and making love becomes a vital activity for your health and well-being.

During typical life experiences you share daily, your thoughts may always be anticipating your next lovemaking session. Beyond procreation and raising a family, this is when two humans become one entity living to please and care for each other. In the ubiquitous culture, people know this experience has faded from everyday life for many reasons: religious distortions, myths, pop emphasis on physical appearance, and ignorance. Sensing this, people seek fulfillment outside the relationship. 

When a partner violates the trust, he or she jeopardizes what may have taken years to develop. All is not lost. It can be recovered if both use love as their motive. or if a break is beyond repair (not confirmed as often as people think). A new partner can renew all this wonder. It may not take as long, but it will run just as deep when two want it to be so with all their heart. Try hard to keep it or commit to another with deep conviction and willingness to set out on a new adventure because this is a basic need most humans have to feel complete.

Hello Friends,

"Psycho-Cybernetics is a term coined by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, which means, “steering your mind to a productive, useful goal so you can reach the greatest port in the world, peace of mind.”

I read the book a long time ago, but what I gained never left me: Preparing for something by rehearsing it in your Mind's Eye as often as possible. It was great when applied to a sport, and it helped me for sure: hitting a fastball. tackling a gifter half-back (in high school, I was a linebacker and tackled a later-to-be pro running back in the backfield); in entertainment rehearsing for a big performance; in job-seeking interviews. As a soldier, I rehearsed my skills as a marksman, achieved expert marksmanship (my main job, however, was missile warhead specialist), and achieved soldier of the month battalion level. How about encounters with the opposite sex, dating, and romance?

Absolutely; after my wild, carefree younger days when I began to search for a mate and cared about how I looked, talked, and behaved when I was with a woman, nervousness was sometimes an obstacle. I was overthinking in a conversation. Hand me C4 or an M16, point me toward the objective, and I know what to do. Place a beautiful young woman in front of me. I could become a deer in the headlights. That passed, and I was married three times, and the last one I just celebrated the thirty-ninth year. (my wife is not capable of understanding, sadly, now). So, I am new to BDSM M/S culture.

I need close supervision from my mentor, the Dominatrix, who recruited, taught, and coached me to prod my way into this life. I have barely touched the surface, and some days, I long for simpler times of a simple man-woman relationship. She calls me Master, but it seems the girls she trains and even me obey her (some master, huh?) No, I am not her slave; she won't accept me calling her Mistress. She is training me to be in charge of the girls she trains. That is the theory, at least.

Another chapter in a life full of twists and turns; I would write a book, but my mind is too fast. I need a ghostwriter to help me tame it. Poems, songs, and artwork are short-term projects I manage well.

So what I need is the understanding of how to prepare myself as a Master using Psycho-Cybernetics or maybe a sub should teach me what to do or have her do.LOL

Hello Friends,

How often do people have sex? Here is an old story, and it may be a myth:

"If a newly married couple put a bean in a jar everytime they had sex the first year of marriage and began to take the beans out each time they had sex starting with the second year of marriage,by the end of their lives there still would be beans in the jar."

“Normal” is whatever feels fulfilling for you and your partner, and communication plays a key role in making sure both parties feel fulfilled. 
That said, a 2017 study that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the average adult currently enjoys sex 54 times a year, which equates to about once a week"

OK, what happens is up to individuals and their health, libido, and lifestyle.  So, I am 76 years old. What seems to be the norm for my age group?

"For many of us our focus is full of myths, such as - older adults don’t, can’t, shouldn’t have sex.

“Wrong, wrong, wrong. People are having sex, well into their 60s, 70s and beyond,” writes HuffPost, citing a 2015 study of 7,000 English men and women in their 70s and 80s. More than half the men and about a third of the women said they were still sexually active. One-third of respondents said they had sex at least twice a month.. . . . "

"Here are 4 other misconceptions and myths associated with aging and sexual activity:

Myth 1: There's nothing you can do about normal body changes that interfere with sexual activity and enjoyment.
Myth 2: Sex causes heart attacks.
Myth 3: Sex isn't important when you get older.
Myth 4: Older adults don't have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases."

I am still well enough for sex and have desire despite being cut off because of my wife's brain disease. As discussed in one of my researched articles, Time is not on my side to continue being sexually active.

I feel the clock is ticking, and it isn't my friend in this case. 

Hello Friends,

When interviewing a potential sub, it's important to cover all the necessary topics and ensure they express themselves accurately. A trial period and evaluation can help determine the viability of the relationship. Is it important to establish a safety word in case of too much pain during kinks and to have a way to abort if a kink arises that wasn't previously discussed?

How does this work in actual relationships? I would guess for some, it is very important and detailed, while for others, it is less comprehensive.

Hello Friends,

Yes, it is warmer and the sun is out. I visited my Urologist and he told me you are doing well. I don't know whether it is a curse or a blessing: I am 76 with a functioning libido but a wife not able to be interested in sex. She is eight years younger with early onset brain disorder and I am the caregiver.

I see in the news a number of my contemporary entertainers (more noteworthy than I) have passed at 76 years old doctors tell me I am in the ever-increasing minority with this longevity; I don't feel old either. Yes I lost a step and the Army helped me lose some of my hearing  but also gave me hearing aids (LOL) My family (paternal and maternal have the genes for longevity so I shouldn't be surprised.)

As a caregiver most of my hobbies and interests had to be set aside. I salvaged songwriting because I could carve out a quiet time to work. Each day is a new adventure. Life has strange twists and turns; some friends from school days are long gone as is all the older generation of my family. Having six brothers scattered from Iceland to Florida makes getting together a challenge. I used to be the oldest up until we met my older brother in Iceland. In general our genes also have encouraged all of us to seek one form of adventure or another (and we survived the wildness of our youth). Ok enough background. What adventure do I see myself in?

BDSM M/S is all new for me and I have only been introduced to this culture for about four months. Aspects are encouraging for me at this time in my life. It harkens back to my adventurous 1960s life that I have written about before. Ok a Dominatrix has been doing all the teaching and I am not her slave. She gifted me two trained subs but they have been unable to meet me because of winter and some other factors. In the meantime?

I have made some errors in my expectations as was revealed in my blog posts and I hope to reduce errors as I move along. Today I am curious about what it means if a sub-woman is considered a "pet". How does that look in reality I would like to know more about this idea where a human is considered a pet.

Hello Friends,

After more than a year of searching for a friend with benefits, I suddenly have two possible candidates and one sub from Europe who fits my favorites list extremely well physically (Pure natural blonde like my wife). The physical is a lusty perk but by no means an end all to who I would choose to be a personal sub or a pet (just thought I might think about what it would mean to have a sub as a pet). Why is it hard to believe?

The track record on such occasions has not gone well for me. Could be just more teasing or fooling. Something I need like "a hole in my head that I wasn't born with". Some are arousing but only one seems to be pure eye candy. 

What do I expect when I wake up tomorrow? They are no longer there to chat. 

And so it goes on and on like that.

Hello Friends,

If you connect to a potential lover but it isn't an exact match and it would require too much compromising: let them go. It may be admirable to say I will accept you and secretly hope both of you can make adjustments but that is a risk I tried to take and only wound up with a broken heart. You may think it will click or it won't, there is chemistry or there is none but with so many millions of people, I believe there are better connections to be had. Finding that person is a challenge indeed. I just came close this morning but it ended abruptly when she told me she graduated from the local High School and knew many people in this town. She is married to someone who offers absolutely no sex and that is like my situation. At first it seemed perfect until the local person's reality popped up. I had to end the possible lover relationship immediately.

No, I will not push, persuade, or coerce her it is something she is not comfortable with and I can not overcome that point. It is best to just let her go. The irony? Her recent long-term lover of 15 years was exactly in the same situation as I am with my wife. But then his wife died and that changed everything for them. 

I discovered the predicament I am in is therefore not unique. That somehow doesn't solve my hunger for a lover though does it?

Hello Friends,

My mom used to say it is just as easy to love a rich person, as it is to love a poor person.  She also would say we should not expect to change a person once we are in a relationship with them. It may be hard but I was able to change in major ways and for my wife I changed in three ways: I quit smoking, I stopped drinking (it was destroying me anyway) and I learned how to be her caregiver (at great personal expense to me).

So in BDSM M/S why couldn't we ask a person who is potentially one we can get involved with? It would start with whether they were interested in learning why you are in it. How does that work for you and what would the potential role be for them (in such a relationship)? No riskier than searching blindly hoping for the best. 

Then there could be some reason to compromise and get what is most important. My first two wives were not the kind of lovers I have come to cherish but that wasn't why we didn't last. I only realized my preferences with a great lover about 45 years ago. Then when I  met and married my wife who was a perfect sub (I didn't realize that until recently; more so since her brain disease robbed her of who she was)

The future? I will find love again it is my destiny and I am sure od that.

Friends,

Do you think it is harder for a Dom to find a Sub or a Sub to find a Dom?

How does Switch come into play? Can two Switches work out well?

Hello Friends,

For most of my life, I derived joy from gardens and plants. My Polish grandmother (Babci) introduced me to gardening both vegetables and flowers. She also had chickens rabbits and geese. Featherbeds in winter were fabulous in unheated bedrooms. When I stayed with her in winter I would sneak a crystal radio set up in the bedroom and listen with an earphone. Sometimes a talk show would scare me like when they were talking about how people can vanish without a trace. Back to the garden.

I loved the spring when the soil was tilled and the first plants would begin to emerge. The bulbs we planted in fall like onions and daffodils were among the first though crocus would start even when there was still snow on the ground. Then I would help her with seed planting and that lasted all the way up until about mid-June (fall plantings could start in summer too).

The lesson for me? Whatever grew last year can grow again and it is a metaphor for me now. I plant my seeds of friendship and keep my eyes open for the seedlings that may be the beginning of a new friendship. I wish I could plant a seed and have my wife grow and bloom once more; not on this planet at this time. I'm not sure a clone would be the same anyway: I doubt it.

So now that the seed catalogs are arriving in the mail I will see if the are seeds available for growing a companion.