The Culture that has been here all the time

Hello Friends,

Some years ago I was spinning my wheels (so to say) single again after my second wife left me to be a single parent. We shared custody so once I felt comfortable about going out again I began to jump around from night club to night club. I had a couple of romantic dates but no regular girlfriend. This went on for several months but those months felt more like years.  Everywhere I went to: restaurants, bars, lounges, and parties, I scanned all the girls for a possible date. Collected a few numbers it was much harder than when I was active in the entertainment business. Now, a technician I wasn't as special as the singer I once was; One woman at work (not the one I would eventually marry) was a wild and crazy woman who would jump into a moshing pile I discovered on a date with her to an after-hours club in an old factory. The day we first talked ended as most work days we said our good nights to our friends and co-workers.

Went home. I had my supper. It was a Friday, the kids were with the other parents so I watched some television and then went to bed.

I awoke about 3 am and there was someone in bed with me. I raised my head and recognized it was my crazy co-worker; She then said, "I always wanted a man like you." OK with me. She turned out to be the best lover of my life up until then.

Hello Friends,

I was raised in a religious family, rejected that life until my mid-thirties and again when followers of organized religion abandoned friendship for my wife: all but one. The one barely keeps in touch but she tries; One from a membership of three hundred. My wife served well before early onset dementia. This post is not about that it is an illustration of how I have arrived at my current thinking.

Atheist? Agnostic? Do I believe that there is a realm that spirits inhabit? Maybe. I have leaned toward connecting with nature more pay much greater attention to living things around me. My scientific background leads me to doubt a great deal of what organized religion teaches. The idea of good and evil survives in my beliefs. Codes for doing profitable things and rejecting doing things counterproductive are a practical philosophy. Love. The most positive of human emotions are shared by other creatures toward good beings, the offspring, and connected social entities (family for one). "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. "The End" is a song by the Beatles composed by Paul McCartney (credited to Lennon-McCartney) for the album Abbey Road." So? What is this about?

I started to wonder if I would be aware of it if I died in the night. 

Would I continue in the dreams or enter a spiritual realm? Or, like the time before we are born, there is nothing to be aware of?

Hello friend,

Sweet Ginger in her blog quotes Bob Marley's comment about what he thought a perfect woman would be like his answer was impeccable. May I add this it is their imperfections that make a woman special. It adds to her uniqueness and builds endearment within me.

What a miserable world it would be if you looked at a crowd where a woman you knew was supposed to be and all the women nearly looked the same.

Every woman I loved would not stand up to the stereotypical image media would have you believe what perfection was. Each had something different to love about them. What do I know I am just a fool who falls in love with only a woman's mind revealed to me in texts only to find out she was just playing with me. Love doesn't die that easy, does it?

Hello friends,

You noticed I referred to Hippies when they seemed to emerge back in the 1960s well Being a hippie is a culture, a belief system, and a code of behavior. I recall seeing the tail end of "The Beat Generation" another counter-culture (For the subculture surrounding the literary movement, see Beatnik. For the more, see Beat Generation (play).) And for even more information, a good place to go is: I I googled this term for the 1960s and this is what came up: 

"In the 1960's, there were many counterculture movements. This included civil rights, feminism, protesting the Vietnam war, segregation, sexual revolution and many more. It is argued that those came from the left of the political spectrum. To me, it was more of an intergenerational change."

I was in contact with all these aspects through the people I knew and associated with in the music/art scene in New York City's Greenwich Village. The main subculture that philosophically touched me the most and though I couldn't immerse myself into it entirely was The Hippies. The term? "I am Hip" means you understand something. " Hey, Joe is that a gun it is dangerous.", "I'm hip man."  

            From: People also ask: How did the term hippie originate?

"The movement originated on college campuses in the United States, although it spread to other countries, including Canada and Britain. The name derived from “hip,” a term applied to the Beats of the 1950s, such as Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac, who were generally considered to be the precursors of hippies."

 Do hippies exist today? Yes. For an up-to-date assessment go to this article: and discover what the current status of hippies is.

This link really comes close to my experiences and who I crossed paths with: 

Hello Friends,

Ok, you want the job. They read your resume and are interested in you. Come to work tomorrow? NO "WE have to interview you."

A prospective mate is recruited like that: arranged marriages or "Mail Order Brides".  The vast majority of us when we date gather information and logically assess our prospective mates not really. We rely on superficial things maybe our "gut " feeling. That isn't the best approach but an interview is still important romantic or not.

I have looked for a prospective date (even though currently I can not date) and when I read that she wants, to cuddle watch a movie, take a walk go out to eat once a month; that is ok. But if she wants to travel, do expensive sports, hop around clubs, and party; I can not do it.

Dom Sub: Sub Dom Protocol. Have a protocol that delineates what you will and will not do. Agree or disagree in great detail. If you want some leeway spell it out so each has a clear picture. Don't leave it to chance.

Hello, my friends,

I wasn't planning to write today being it is Valentine's Day and my wife is unable to understand that but, then I realized I am not the only one in a situation like this: Others may not have a "Valintine" or a reason to celebrate Valentine's Day as well. 

My wife is seriously ill maybe another one of you share this situation. Maybe you were, maybe left alone or they shattered your heart? 

Why do we suffer from a broken heart? We give more to the other person than they are willing to give you. My wife was so rare a woman and a perfect Sub I did well by her but if I understood her better I would have done better for her. But, now I demonstrate my love sacrificially and somehow I think she knows. Still, I miss having her as a complete mate: Partner, affectionate comforter, and (most missed) my lover.

Some hope for the future though it is complicated by my actions when I was ill-prepared to truly understand the consequences of my actions. I am happy that I led myself into boxed canyons by thinking I was trusting a real potential companion only to be ambushed with disappointing results.

I fell taking my dogs out back and hurt my face bled everywhere as I went back into the house for ice (still gave the dogs their rewards). The pain to me was nothing compared to a betrayal by a love interest: It is like a literal knife in my chest.

I still have hope for that companion. I still have room in my heart to love someone (I never stop even when they hurt me). Nothing is going to stop me from caring for my wife. I know somewhere there is a lover who will love me like that and care for me like I care for my wife.

So it appears there is something to hope for this Valentine's Day.

Hello Friends,

With my wife in serious cognitive decline and not recognizing any holidays Valentine's Day is just another day. I no longer mess around with scammers to pretend to celebrate a Holiday of any kind.

I do have the memories that my wife and I shared for about 36 of the 39 years we have been together. And this is a good thing to have and to hold.

In the meantime for any of you who observe Valentine's Day, I wish you a good one. Warm and filled with love and affection.

Sincerely Andron

Hello all,

I made a friend who is considered an outcast in many cultures: "The gender nonconforming or third-gender, ceremonial roles traditionally embodied by some Native American and Indigenous peoples in Canada . . . ." Twin Spirits¹  Theopenness in me and acceptance of people who are different has its roots in my experience with the Counter Culture in the 1960s Related to the attitudes of Hippies² We embraced many people who were sincerely different not just there to capitalize on the business of the drug culture, acid rock, civil disobedience, antiwar, civil rights . . .

We had shops that we patronized of course. I collected teas from around the world. Dressed in Mod when it emerged and grew my hair and was beat up because I was so different.  But I demonstrated I could play football, and baseball, and be part of our High School Band too. But when a talent show came up I chose to sing songs by Bob Dylan and my gym teacher slammed me against a locker, "No one is going to like you freak," is what he said. Guess what? I received more than one standing ovation for Bob Dylan's, "Masters of War", "It's a Hard Rain that's Gonna Fall," and at least one of my original songs (My Love's Face).

So, so much has changed and yet so much has not.

¹

2

Yes, Friends,

My wife has Alzheimer's/Dementia/Aphasia but she shocked me a couple of days ago: She was crying in the kitchen doorway I went up to hug her and it seemed she remembered that we were married and said, "I love you." The fleeting moment did not last but it stirred within me a new sense of loss.

Sadness overwhelmed me because it is so rare for her to remember anything of our past.

Doctors tell me, "She will not recover."

And, so I continue to live with this worst-case scenario for more than 3 years now.

Hello Friends,

"Blood, Sweat and Tears" not the "Jazz Rock Group the idiom: Two years in Pennsylvania and a Year and a half in my 93-year-old home in the quaint Boyertown with mountains and farms close by (and a lot of nature) just what I need. Caregiving keeps me from taking mental health relaxing rides into the countryside. Whenever I bought a new house (new or old) I had to put BST into the transition. No difference here except my role as a caregiver takes priority so I am relegated to more of a hantyman. 

The house needs maintenance of course and some modifications to accommodate my wife with Alzheimer's. We share one common trait we are tough and refuse to yield to adversity. So my role as a housekeeper, pet minder, bookkeeper bill payer, and caregiver for my wife does require literally Blood Sweat, and Tears.

Yet, I can squeeze a little time to write songs and a blog, and, sometimes watch my favorite British television programs.

Yes I get frustrated, worn out, and flirt with anger, but my center of gravity is LOVE.