Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

We took a ride to come and see his lifelong friend for the weekend. The drive was nice...I read to him most of the way. The rain didn’t stop the entire way...

We arrive to the house we rented...and it’s gorgeous. It’s an older home that has had updates...beautiful grounds with impeccable landscaping. The kitchen is my dream kitchen!! The down side to this house is...it’s kinda creepy...the kind where I’m pretty sure this has been in a scary movie at least once!!! 

This did not hinder us from having an amazing sexual experience on the bed that has a headboard and footboard made of rails! We rocked every inch of that bed! At one point something started flashing just a little....we noticed but were way to involved with each other’s pleasure to be bothered with it.

After we were spent...we set out to inspect that flashing. Here we are naked...looking for the flash. We found a motion detector that we assume is the culprit...and we believe that it was set to suspect anyone from movement from the windows...not expecting to have a crazy couple activating the motion with their wild sex capades! There might be some crazy pictures out there of us somewhere...but we don’t care...that was an amazing session that anyone would wanna see! lol 

Bonus of a scary house...in the middle of the night when you hear the noises sounding like a murderer is coming down the hall to kill us...we just hold each other tighter!!

Until tomorrow...

My Master said something to me the other night that really made me think. He commented on how its still strange to him that I submitted to him so fully so fast. I have to agree...especially when I look at the situation from the outside.

I immediately felt something with him the very first time we met...but in this situation we were both at work and I was in no way in a position to show him that there were sparks. Over time I would flirt with him...again nothing to dramatic because I only saw him in work settings...and since we didn’t work daily with each other...there is only so much you can show a person in our brief encounters.

Finally the day came that he asked me out...and on our first date...I knew. During our first time being intimate with each other...that’s when I knew that he was a Dom...and when I asked him if that’s what he liked and told him that I liked to be submissive and he eyes lit up...I knew again. Over time he slowly confirmed to me the he is my one...So when he asked me to be his full-time...I already knew that I was his...even without him asking or collaring me. I was his...

I have never been that way before...I had never met someone and felt butterflies in my stomach....not from the very first meeting!!! And still to this day I feel those feelings....why??? I have no idea why?? My brain still makes has reservations and has moments of doubts....but my heart is full in. All of it!

When you feel this...you can’t help but jump in with both feet. It’s like someone told me I won the lottery and found the foundation of youth...all I have to do is jump! Wouldn’t you??

He is my one....no doubts! 

Until tomorrow...

Change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s exactly what we need...sometimes it’s not wanted...sometimes the changes are good for you but somebody else won’t like it. Either way we all face changes daily.

I’m one of these people that is good with change...I can always find the good in it...it’s just my nature. But I do worry how it affects others...and I worry how they are going to take it or handle it. I know that they way they handle it is not in my control and my perceptions or ideas about how they will handle it will not affect my decisions...but I still worry.

I’m envious of people that dont worry about what other people will do...I really am. I wish I could just be that person that has no worries in the world...but I’m not. It’s hard...especially when you don’t get impose negative thoughts to others when the change is theirs.

I know it will all work out...but ultimately the change is good for me and my life. I just don’t like conflict of any kind...

Looking forward to the upcoming months!!!

Until tomorrow...

During a discussion today I found out something I have been doing that I thought was a good thing...was actually kind of hurtful to him. Made him feel a certain way...a way that I never would have wanted him to feel...or to have pressed upon him.

We talked and I understood why...but I can’t help but feel bad for  the way he felt. It made me sad...and when I get sad I get quite. I somehow start to feel like I just need to be quite and hope that I can make up for what I have done. This is turn makes him concerned because I’m now acting different.

How do you transition quickly from finding out you have been making the love of your life feel a certain way that he doesn’t want to feel...to just saying OK...I’m sorry and just move on. Wouldn’t it make you feel bad??? How do other people react when they find out they have made their love feel bad??

I’m not real sure how to deal with it without beating myself up...and making him more concerned with that?? I have to change what I have been doing...but not so much that it changes the way I show him my affection.

It’s all something I have to figure out...and ensure that it doesn’t change how I show him how much I care for him...but not in the wrong way.

I’m glad that we were able to talk and get it out in the open before it becomes a problem.

Until tomorrow...

Driving through the country side today...just enjoying the time with my Master.

It’s nice to be able just to enjoy each other’s company. Hold hands while we cruise down the road. Enjoying the curiosity of all of the things us have never seen. Laughing like kids...it’s the absolute best. 

Our time here is starting to wind down...and soon we will go home. I’m trying not to think about how I will be affected when I have to let him go back to work again. I’m hoping that this will end soon...and I can be with him full time....until then I will enjoy these moments.

Until tomorrow...

Being with him is bliss...even when he has to leave during the day.

I find myself a little lost when he leaves. Almost like when you see a kitten or a puppy right when their mother leaves them from nursing. I know that sounds weird...but that is what I imagine I look like when he leaves....blindly looking for my comfort, shaking and confused...maybe even whining. 

I was watching many episodes of Shameless today and this got me thinking about all the different types of addictions people have. He even jokes with me that I am adDICKed to him. I know I am a very sexual person that could have sex all the time...especially with him...but it’s more than that. I feel more with him...I feel more everything with him. He brings me so much more pleasure in the simple things not only sexual. He can also bring me to tears quicker than anyone else on earth...for no reason even...but my feelings are very raw with him...the good and the bad. It’s odd for me...I’ve always been able to shut out the feeling very quickly before...and with him I can’t.

Either way I love being with him...even when it still feels very vulnerable. I have submitted my everything to him...and each day I try to give him some more. I hope he knows all of this through my actions...

I sit here watching him now...writing my blog...and I just want to melt into him...if anyone understands that...I don’t have to have his attention, I don’t have to have him talking to me, I don’t have to be physical with him(even though I want that too...lol)...all I want is to breathe his air, smell his skin and see his sweet eyes.

Sorry for the sap...I’m just enjoying my time and needed to express it.

Until tomorrow...

Cuddles....cuddling is probably one of my favorite things. I always try knew I loved to cuddle...but now it takes on a while new meaning for me.

During the day while he is away...even though I know that he will be back...it’s still hard. I know that it sounds crazy and it probably is a little...but the feeling of emptiness still happens just with him leaving to go to work. It’s not as bad as when he leaves for days or weeks...but just being without him for 8 hours will stir in me those feelings of emptiness. It’s hard to even know what to do without him. I lose track of time and have a hard time getting things done. I’m working on getting myself more in a routine...but it’s hard. 

When we are back together I feel better...even with him just in the room....in the same area! Being in the same space with him is comforting for my needy soul. But at night when we snuggle down in the bed and cuddle tight to each other...it’s like I just got plugged in and my body is recharging! Being able to pull energy from each other as our bodies are intertwined is the best feeling in the world.

I am thankful for every single second I able to cuddle with him. Even when we are hot, we are sweaty...I snore and keep him awake... I would not change any of our cuddle time (maybe the snoring...wish I didn’t do that)...but that is my time that he is completely mine...no phone, no work, nothing but us.

Until tomorrow....

Last night was a sweet beginning to our new year!!!

As we laid in the bed watching TV...just enjoying our naked bodies next to each other....my Master started to suck on my breasts...which a huge turn on for me!!! He sucked and kissed them until I was moaning and my body was crying for more...before I knew it he was massaging my pussy and asking me to cum for him....this was easy....he makes me cum and before I could start the after shakes he had his mouth on my clit...sucking and licking me...pushing my orgasm higher. He slowed down letting me enjoy the sensation of his tongue all over my clit...and that’s when he started going faster and sucking hard...willing me to cum again!!

That’s when he did it...he started talking demanding to me...telling me to come and suck Daddy’s cock...talking to me the whole time...telling me to take all of Daddy’s cock in my mouth...telling me what to do the entire time...I loved it...

This is turning me on like never before...I can feel the fire building inside of me while I suck his cock...he tells to to come give him my pussy...laying on his back...his cock rock hard urging me to get on top of him...he pulls me in top of him...his hands are on my hips and ass as He easily goes inside me...my body shakes when he enters me...as it does every single time...he feels so amazing!!! He continues to tell me how to give it to Daddy...turning me on like never before....telling me to grind myself into him...moving slow and grinding hard...we cum hard together...he have a slow and intense orgasm....Oh GOD it felt so good...

Hot sex, his hot body and all that hot hardcore talking...yes yes yes...I will gladly take another...

Until tomorrow...

Happy New Years!

I hope everyone had a great start to the New Years!! I was thinking about my friend (another sub in here)...I don’t want to mention her name on her because she might not like it...but my thoughts were with her today as I’m sure she had a rough day. Day 2 of feeling the sub-drop is the worst...its probably the worst of the days. It made me feel sad for her...and wish that I could have called her up and told her that we should get together...watch some movies in our PJ’s...eat some popcorn and just have a slumber party! 

I don’t there is anyone in the world that can understand our feelings like a fellow sub can. All the highs and definitely all the lows. I know that I mean everything to my Master and he would do anything for me...but not the way I would. I’m not even sure if he could fully understand the level of emptiness I feel without him. And I’m not sure if it’s because I’m female??? It makes me wonder if male submissives have the same feelings and sub-drop horribleness... If it’s due to the level of submission we give to our Dom’s or if it’s more due to DNA? 

I have been in relationships before...and NEVER felt this about anyone...and I’m not even sure what word to use...is it need? Is it dependence? No word I use can give what I feel justice.

Any who...I sure you know who you are...and when you read this just know that I have been thinking about you today....and really wish I could have just given you some hugs. It’s all worth it...but I know all to well the pain you feel...it hurts like nothing else. 

Until tomorrow....

Happy New Years Eve!

I hope everyone is enjoying their evening and pondering what 2019 has in store for each of you...and planning for it to be a great year!

Whatever you have planned for the upcoming year...make sure it includes focusing on what’s best for you. What are you going to do for you this year? I know for me I will be true to myself...and making sure that I remember that I am in control of my own happiness.

I have been blessed to have had the last 5 months in the bliss of being his. My journey as a submissive began and grows with the perfect man that I get to claim as my Master. This is the world I was meant to be in...and I’m so glad that I have found it with him. Our journey in this lifestyle and relationship just continues to be the dream I never thought would come true.

Thank you Sir for claiming me as yours and doing for me everything you promised. You continue to amaze me....

I love you...

Until tomorrow...