My journey

CrimsonPaw - You only submit to the Dom you choose. Spend lots of time getting to know a person before deciding if you two are compatible for a D/s or M/s dynamic. Being friends first and building on that foundation usually results in a stronger and longer lasting relationship. Sorry you've been running into negative experiences here. There are many of us on site who can help you avoid those types of Dom's if you'd like. ☺️ Hope things start to get easier for you. Reach out if you need to chat. 🌻

Max Sterne​(dom male){Morley} - Sorry you have had such a rough time.

Yes different Doms want different things, but so do different subs. You need to identify for yourself what you want in a Dom. Then be very clear about that to any Dom you meet. Have it on your profile too.

Then stick with those Doms that are looking for the same thing you are. Many Doms, including myself, are not into humiliation for example. If you can imagine it then it is out there. Dont settle!

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - Time is definitely very important. Many here want to just rush into something. Most say they want to take their time. But then ask for nudes or beg you to submit the next day. Lol. People need to slow down. My way of seeing things seems so much different from others.. That's why I'm wondering if I am right for the lifestyle after all.

CrimsonPaw - You are right for this lifestyle. You just aren't right for the predators who are trying to use you. You're doing the right thing by avoiding them. Don't settle. You'll gain a lot of respect, by respecting yourself and continuing to ignore the baby doms who try to get instant submission. 🙂

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - Thank you so much AmberRising... I'm glad I'm not alone and that it's not That I don't fit the lifestyle. I was honestly starting to wonder.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - Not ur not alone at all. And as ame said feel free to reach out if you need .

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - Thank you all. So much..... I'm glad I made this blog. I feel reassured.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } - Also read other s blogs . there are many that can offer tips and give you a path of sorts

Satindragon{Not Lookin} - I agree with all that has been said. You can control the pace. If they get ugly or to persistent use your block button. It can take some time to find the person that is right for you. Like the others have said, don't settle for less than you deservr.

NoOneofConsequence​(dom male){Taken} - Stop and breathe, Here4fun2learn.

First of all, you are the only you an this miserable ball of rock hurtling through space. And even sight unseen, I can promise you this much. You are the very best at consistently being you no matter what else you may be good at or not.

Second, there are Masters, Daddies, Dominants, Sirs,... and then there are Sadists, and Emotional Sadists. Your submission is a gift. YOU choose whom is worthy of it. And if they are degrading you and telling you that you are less than (and that is not your bag), then let them go play sit and spin on their thumb and wait for the next little miserable masochist or emotional mas stumble into their clutches.

The Cage, as with any site, as with your own street you walk down each day, is peopled by various and sundry. Some won't be worth crossing the street to piss on if their guts are on fire. Some will be worth tipping your hat to when you see them. And there may just be that One who will make the blocking and ignoring the dickheads worth your while. ***shrug*** S/He may not even be here as yet, but may come eventually. It's all up to YOU, of course. But, it would be a damn shame if you missed out on The One because you let a bunch of penis-headed twat-waffles unable to accept "No" scare you back into your shell, little turtle.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - NoOneofConsequences... Thank you for your post. It was very refreshing to read and you are absolutely right. My submission is a gift. I have learned through reading between last night and this morning, that it is pretty normal to feel frustrated and that many have been in my shoes or are in them right now. I have confidence that there is a right Dom out there for me. Just have to go through a bunch who aren't...and sometimes they are jerks...that is clear. But, no matter what I will always be me. I will only change for the better, but never because someone wants to make me feel lesser than.

NoOneofConsequence​(dom male){Taken} - Good girl! Hold tight to that, and you'll do just fine for yourself.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - 😉

CapnRick​(dom male) - I'll add that you can find reassurance in remembering that dciding on a Dom is not like an elopement --nothing permanent in your commitment.
If online, then of course you get to decide whether you want to continue every single day. (I don't advocate ghosting, but you can opt out with a nice explanation at any time.) It might be a little more difficult to disengage if he's an in-person Dom, but it can still be done.
Just like any relationship starts with a first date, and then another, maybe several before you make a commitment, so it is in this world. Doms make themselves available, you make a selection --but no guarantees on either side it will be a good fit. Yes, the odds get better with some getting to know you time. Still, we are humans, we sometimes don't read each other as well as we might, and sometimes what looks perfect turns out to be flawed, at least to our sight. So you need not strive for absolute perfection..maybe 'Good Enough' is actually good enough to learn a lot, to grow your understanding, recognizing that very few people find their ideal ther first time around. Think of it as a process of experiences and learning from them....
But yes, instantly block the juveniles and wannabes.
Hope this is of some help in taking a deep breath, and coming back for another look or two....

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - Definitely... Never know when meet someone. At the least, can make friends by getting to know people. I feel I hold my standards pretty high. Maybe too high.. I'm not sure but I feel I'll know when I meet someone and it's right. Until then, talk and get to know folks. The "baby Doms" won't get my attention though. Don't believe in ghosting but I'll be straight up if I don't feel a connection as well.