Master and the Sub

Ok let's face the facts we all weren't shot out of a womb with either a crop in our hand or a ball gag in our mouth. Granted pacifiers do resemble ball gags for babies, it is a form of keeping us quiet. 

But seriously what brought you to the lifestyle? At what age did you know or were introduced to it? Did your life help shape or steer you into this direction? For some is this just curiosity because they saw something about it, or maybe deep inside they truly sought out something that burned in their soul. Another blog for a later time. 

So let me begin with my story. Got beat by a baby sitter, did this make me want control,  maybe. More abuse later in life. Moved 31 times in 29 years, stability issues maybe,  put in control of other people at a young age desire for control not sure.

Because I wasn't raised that way, my mother was subservient to my father because of the times. But my mother taught me women are as equal to men, hence she could do things like remode the  house, plumbing, many things she did I think were to prove to my father she was not weak.

I have great respect for women, she taught me well. I know from her about how hard she worked and the little respect she got. I can't imagine the hell that she went through as a child. 

I got older, life teaches us different things, about how we interact with each other, how we want others to see us. I am religious so that had a bearing on who I am, but not what I am, if that makes sense.  

I have been dominant in personality since I was about 18 years old. Let me explain, I was given total responsibility over several employees. When you take the role of supervisor at such a young age it teaches you how to deal with people. I learned that asking someone to do something in a nice way first got good results.

Don't get me wrong, I got an employee fired, because he failed to do his job, i didn't feel good about it but it was his fault not mine. Saying I learned from a friend, why would you do this to me, why would you put me in this position. 

I like being in charge, having the responsibility to get things done, feeling needed.  Because most of my life I never felt wanted or needed. 

Fast forward, first wife and I were both alpha types, truly fought most of the time. Sex was vanilla, but found she had toys she never told me about later while moving her out. Guess she had her own secrets. 

Second wife comes along, this is where I was introduced into the lifestyle. In a conversation one night she talked about how she paid to be trained as a submissive, curiosity peeked do tell more. 

Well this is where she says I think you would make a great dominant because you are a dominant person. She was right but in my mind we were talking about two different things. 

I am a disciplined person, have been since I was a child, taught that way. So I follow rules, lots of people do. Then I  start doing research on BDSM, ok mind is now open wider than before. I read lots of information, read more, have discussion about things with her, learn more. 

Now understand that I'm religious, so some of the things she wants goes against what I've been taught, some things go against everything my mother has taught me. So how does one do these things with a clear conscious? 

It was one step at a time, learning how to give pleasure to fulfill someone's wants and needs and also learning what your wants and needs are. It went against a lot of what I believed in but in the same breath opened my mind to what I had been missing. 

Anal sex. Big no no for many of us religious folks, but when introduced it's like sir step this way here's the back door just go on through.  Wow what a whole new experience to marvel in, to enjoy without the awkwardness or guilt. 

Degrading someone who you care about takes a lot of something that I can't really explain but you have to step out of yourself when doing it or you risk becoming someone you're not. Never lose site of who you are, because that can be dangerous. 

She was a slave with very little limits, I truly didn't know about aftercare until I met Hazel. This was a shock, i was told she was a submissive, but after I met Hazel I realized she was more slave. 

I have to give my second wife credit for bringing out my dominant side, because without the experience from her I wouldn't have met my beautiful lioness. 

Hazel and I have a wonderful life together, we enjoy many facets of our life and lifestyle and I'm learning more about her everyday. I hope to learn even more as the days turn to years.

So this is why I am here, finding myself buried in a facade of things I had been taught, things I lived,  to realize that once I crawled out from my perception of how I was supposed to be. I can now live how I want to live and be who I'm supposed to be. 

So sit down, grab a pen or pencil and ask yourself why are you here? Big hug family. ??

Good morning family. 

Hazel's mother is doing better, she's still in the ICU for a little longer then off to rehabilitation before getting to go home. Hazel's an emotional train wreck and all I can do is phone therapy from a 1000 miles away, makes me feel like I'm not doing my part. 

On a better note, she found out from TSA that she can board the plane with the papers she has with her, birth certificate, social security card, marriage certificate. She has to go through a little more security measures but a flight home will be faster. This is a relief right now because money is kinda tight.

We're still waiting on our tax refund we filed last may, I told her by the time we get it we'll already filed this years taxes. She coming back soon, has to get a new driver's license, work until her mom gets home then go back for awhile. 

I bruised my ribs on the right side while replacing the bathroom fan, so it's been a new experience in pain, the dogs haven't been helping. My mother is having hip surgery in a little over a week, my youngest child is moving in with us come April. 

This year has started with a hi how are you, now bend over, grab your ankles kind of way. I'm truly hoping that the rest of this year is very fucking boring. Except for the ass smaking, rope tying, hot wax, mess the bed up stuff. I want to be the one saying, bend over my beautiful lioness and grab those ankles, master wants you now. 

On a positive note the new fan is working great, the true test will have to wait until she has her morning coffee and cigarette and I walk in afterwards. ??? lets hope it's more like ?????

Yes, I love my beautiful lioness every inch good and bad even if I need a gas mask on occasion. Have a wonderful day everyone, big hug. ??

Ok so most of you know that Hazel is in Baltimore to be with her mother. Update last night the nurse let her mom video chat with the family and her mother put up the hand sign for I love you. Except she missed a finger and Hazel corrected her, she then flipped the bird to Hazel. She's doing better, love that woman.

Now what you don't know is Hazel lost her driver's license, think its on a plane somewhere not sure at the moment. So it seems that to get it replaced she has to be here in the state of issue. Wow kinda hard when you can't fly without it, can't drive back without it, just got to love how much power that little piece of plastic holds over our lives. 

So here's where the expensive trip comes in. To get my beautiful lioness/wife home I have to get a dog sitter, cost is between 25-50 dollars a day per dog. Next comes the plane ticket, Hazel just spent 250 for that. Hotel room when I get there because there is already 4 people a dog and cat in the house, can we say cramped. Now her brother offered to pay for a rental truck so Hazel could get the rest of her stuff, great.

Now figure in gas prices for a truck that is not very fuel efficient through 5 different states, hotels along the way because I'm the only one that can drive legally, oh and food and or snacks along the way. 

Now it took 3 days last time we drove from Baltimore to Missouri with both us driving and 2 hotel rooms. I'm thinking this time 4 days, so low estimate 25 a dog times 2, 50 dollars a day. 200 dollars pet boarding. Plane ticket 250, hotel room in Baltimore about 79 dollars if we leave next day. Gas I have no idea for that one, hotels on the way back about 79 to 100 a night so roughly 350 to 400. Food just depends on how hungry we are and what mood we're in, so that's up in the air. 

I told Hazel the other day I figure about a thousand dollars in total just over a piece of plastic. Funny thing is she has her birth certificate, social security card, marriage certificate with her but it all cant replace that little piece of plastic. 

Guard that piece of plastic with your life folks because if you lose it the cost is high. Guess I will be seeing the east coast in the winter months this time. I would spend everything I have to bring my beautiful lioness home and she knows that. 

To all I say, have a wonderful day, big hug and best wishes. ?❤?

Ok first an update. Hazel's bags are packed, flight leaves today, she will be gone probably a month. Her mother had a mild heart attack on Friday, their doing open heart surgery on Tuesday. Just wanted our family to know. 

Now onto the blog.

Ok I'm just going to assume that for the most part that subs probably outweigh the doms in the amount of stuffies owned. Don't get me wrong I got quite a collection myself, but I'm pretty sure it pales in comparison to most people's. 

Now you love your stuffies, hold them tight in good times and bad, talk to them, tell them things that you tell no one else. But where are they? on the bed, on a shelf, sitting in a chair. 

Placement of ones stuffies can be as detailed as placement of belongings in a house. Some meant to be seen, others strategically placed for blending into the rooms asiatic feel. Needless to say their watching, but how much do you want them to see is the big question?

Example: One of Hazel's most loved stuffies was in bed with her, I started something, she said you're too young to see this and he hit the floor.

Now you have an idea about what you want your own stuffies to see, being naked ok, sexy lingerie ok, engaging in something more intimate, maybe not. 

The things some stuffies have seen. Hell I'm pretty sure if they had therapy for stuffies there's no amount of counseling that would ever help. Maybe a really long wash cycle on the hot side might do it. Placing them in front of a computer playing a continuous loop of care bears might be a good start. 

But when all is said and done, and done again and again, it might just be to late to erase the image ingrained on whatever your stuffie is filled with.

So for the love of your stuffies people, Please turn them away from your sessions, toss them on the floor, cover them up, ( not with your intimates) move them somewhere safe so as to not traumatize them anymore than they might be already. For no cute, adorable, soft and squishy stuffie should ever have to see what the hell were all doing. 

This has been a public service announcement for the better well being of stuffies everywhere. Paid for by the coalition of adorable stuffies. We now return you to your regularly scheduled kinkiness. 

Stay safe everyone, much love Lion and Hazel. ??

So, there are plenty of blogs, information, and opinions about what to discuss with your dominant or submissive when first exploring the possibility of a relationship. Likes, dislikes, limits, fantasies,scenes, ect. 

But what I've never seen is anything on body fluids or functions. Do you have these discussions with someone you're considering or do you wait until that moment when it happens to discuss it?

Let's start with body fluids, it's a natural part of sex, but are you talking about how it may impact your playtime? Let me explain, for the dom men here are you asking the question of where can I deposit my, baby gravy, my love seed, my cum of love. Ass, tits may be fine, hair face not so much.

This is important, my last sub had no boundaries when it came to that, my lioness does and it was discussed prior to our meeting, I respect her boundaries. Now for the female doms, do you have certain limits for this, or do your subs. if so I would like to hear what you think. 

For the submissive's, did you inform your future dom or daddy that you flow like a river, cause a tsunami, are a squirter that can wash the walls? For me and others this is a wonderful thing, but for some it might be a deal breaker. 

I will say that having to change the sheets or get out the blow dryer so no one has to sleep in the wet spot makes me happy. Tip, look for an absorbent pad sold at pharmacies they work wonderful and can be thrown in the washer. 

Pms, ladies it happens, mother nature has a way of sneaking up like a ninja. Unknown until after the wave of ecstasy has subsided then the evidence is clear. The day we replace our mattress I may be arrested, they will have the evidence to convict me for multiple crimes. 

Now for the A word Anal, for those that enjoy this let me ask you a question. Do you prepare for it or just do it in the moment? Little story first, I was told something when I was a lot younger about a anal experience from someone I know. He explained that afterwards when he pulled out his penis there was corn kernel on the end. Now I told this story to Hazel and everytime we see this person she leans over and says corn on the tip which we both start laughing. I'll give you a minute to either whence or think about eating corn before an intimate session. 

Now prepping for this can involve, enemas, being on a regular schedule, or even avoiding certain foods. Whatever you choose just make sure you discuss this, rather than being the butt of a joke years later. It's all part of the relationship. 

Now for the body fuctions.

I'm going to start with the one thing we all do, fart, pass gas, small explosion between the legs, however you describe it farts happen. Sometimes not when or where you want it, your in the middle of a wonderful scene being played out, hands are tied daddy or your dom is behind you smaking your ass. Then it happens, the rumble from below, the oh shit feeling, the gas is causing discomfort, lack of enjoyment pains are getting unbearable. 

Now what do you do? Are you comfortable with your, dom or daddy to say excuse me, as you release the winds of potential death, causing  them to shrug it off or run screaming as the hair in their nose curls. Do you use your safe word, exit the room and make a sound like a bass drum beating from the bathroom?

Doms are you lying there having your beautiful sub service your man hood when the burrito you had for lunch rolls through faster than a funny car in the quarter mile. What do you do, hold it in, making the gas pains feel like your the one being punished, hope that you can release it slowly and pray to God that it's quiet and smells like the candle you bought but never used. Say excuse me as you run for the bathroom, releasing a sound loud enough for your neighbors to wonder if they should call the cops. 

Can we all say mood killer, we could but it's all dependent on how comfortable you are with each other, how strong the relationship is and did you have the discussion about how to deal with it. Its natural it happens, unless it smells like a dead skunks ass then let the laughter begin. 

Take this example, you spent time tying your submissive into a beautiful artform using the ropes you have, your so proud of what you've done it's making your cock hard. Then it happens, she has to go. Oh shit, and I mean oh shit, precious seconds are passing, your fingers are moving but the rope is not coming undone, stop reach for the knife or paramedic scissors you keep just for such emergencies. Oops you don't have them, well I hope you're close because this might be embarrassing. 

Just to say that was an example, not something that I have experienced. For Hazel's sake I wouldn't ever use something without her permission. 

Lastly let's discuss the queff, air being pushed into the vaginal area by intercourse, It happens. How you deal with it is another matter, some women feel embarrassed, some don't care, but it should be discussed because maybe someone hasn't had the experience with one and might react negatively. My personal opinion is let it pass, continue with the enjoyment. 

Body fluids are natural, how you deal with them is up to you, but it's a discussion that needs to be had. Body functions are also natural and a plan should be implemented for such occasions as to when something may go south and timing is of the essence. 

For all,  if you have ever ventured into the bathroom without warning and you feel like you have been personally assaulted by a smell that can only be described as death warmed over and reheated in a microwave then tell your significant other you still love them but they smell like shit. Lol 

Have these discussions, it saves the embarrassment later. Much love to all, and buy air fresheners. 

When I was first looking for someplace to find that special person who could fulfill my needs inside and outside the bedroom. I searched in my hometown, didn't really find anything other than a female dominant who for the high price could make your fantasy come true.

My oldest son recommended Fet Life, I typed in the site via Google and viola here was what I thought I wanted. Until I noticed I must sign up, pay to enter just for the possiblity of finding that one special submissive.

Then like a magical omen the cage site popped up, I clicked, I looked before I joined, I joined. This site had everything, profiles to read, pictures to see, information to be read and absorbed, blogs to learn, laugh, and realize people just like you exist. 

I created a profile, posted pictures, wrote my first blog, made new friends, had great conversations, even gave support to some that needed it. I felt like I finally belonged somewhere without feeling ashamed or guilty of what I wanted. 

I met the most amazing woman here, we talked all the time, we met in person, we moved here here, got married. Can't imagine a more special and magical moment in my life. 

Now fast forward a year and a half, things have changed or I was very naive, from what my Hazel said and a comment from a friend I always thought of Fet Life as being the craigslist of bdsm. Go there find a good fuck partner then go on your way after it gets old or boring. 

I say this because of what i have seen on their site, what I have been told about their site, and just the same vibe craigslist or backpage had at one time. Also reminds me of plenty of fish, nice to browse but not to invest much. 

The Cage I held above these sites, their site was welcoming, inviting, you could browse without commitment, once inside the place held many things. Go premium and the world was yours, so I thought.  

Now it seems every Tom, Dick, and Harry, Tom has a hairy dick with an e-mail address can join, post his dick pics, and demand every submissive bow down and suck his hairy dick. 

I'm beginning to think Fet life had it right, pay before you play to weed out the I'm just here to find a fuck buddy but we all know men will pay for pussy, hence why prostitution is the oldest working profession, long hours shit pay, and no benefits. 

Please don't think I'm gullible, I've been on dating sites and their all filled with people wanting true love along with just need to fuck someone, I guess maybe each of these sites need to have separate sections one for looking for forever and looking for after you make me cum, then makes sure you lock the door on your way out kind of sections. 

Sure would make it a little simpler, if you're feeling horny click here, after the shame and loneliness click here to find a more permanent way of dealing with your emotions. Life sucks then you die, hell of a way to look at things but it is what it is sometimes. 

I guess I always try to see the positive side of things, but every once in a awhile someone has to show me the world fucking sucks and I would enjoy flipping off the lightswitch to human existence until we have learned what it's truly like to be honest and good to each other. 

I'm not sure yet but this may be my final blog, I don't see things the same way as most people, guess that's why my psychologist said I have psychotic tendencies. What I see is not what it appears, guess I'm tired of standing up for what I believe is right only to be slapped down by those who I thought I was protecting.  

For those looking for someone forever, my best wishes in your search. For those looking for a quick fuck or fix to your damaged ego, good luck posting dick pics and no profile. 

With that I say ado, to all I say enjoy life it's what you make of it that matters. 

Lion?

Good morning my friends, hope all is well and good. This is open to all, dom/sub doms only, subs only, hell anyone who wants to put their own 2 cents in.

I am going to list at least 5 ways my beautiful submissive as changed my life and would like you to do the same. Now it can be a with the one your with now,  a former dom/sub anyone who has changed your life for the better. 

1. Trust.

I have had trust issues most of my life, being told one thing and then seeing the lie unfold makes you able to spot the bs a mile away. My beautiful lioness has told me the truth from the very first 14 hour conversation we had. We hide nothing from each other and it is liberating. 

2. Love.

I have known my parents love me, family, friends, that kind of love. But I have never experienced the love Hazel eyes has shown me. Anyone can say the words I love you, but it's the things she does every day that shows me just how much. In my case her actions speak louder than any words. 

3. Money. 

It's not my money, it's not her money, it's our money. She taught me I'm not a bank like my ex wives thought, I don't have to ask if I want to buy something. She actually got mad at me in Walmart because I asked if I could get some beer instead of just getting it. 

4. Family 

I have been close with my family, but we never did the Sunday dinners together, call once in awhile to make sure you're still alive kinda thing. Since she's been here I have seen my parents and children more than I have in years. She has a way of bringing people together,  and doesn't take no for an answer. My parents love her, I think more than me.?

5. Health 

I have a bullet in my chest, missing a few organs, for the most part I'm in good health, she insists that I drink 3 bottles of water every day, if I have a pain it's do you need to go to a doctor or hospital. I have never had someone who was so concerned about me in any of my relationships. She is so amazing, I do believe she's more concerned about me than I am. 

6. Home 

As my father said she made your house a home. I couldn't agree more, she took a place I live and made it a welcoming home for all that care to stop by. She decorates for all the seasons, brought light to the darkness, added colors to the blank canvas I used to call my home. 

7. Happiness 

I have been happy pretty much most of my life, but she brings a new perspective to the word. The buying 5 cans of shaving cream so she can ninja my ass in the shower. The try to stick her finger up my ass when I'm bent over, the pick my ass up and carry me through the house, the cold hands up my shirt while I'm doing the dishes kind of happiness.  It's the fact she takes the time to pay attention to fucking with me I am happy with, not just being ignored. 

I went past 5 and this is only a small portion of the ways she has changed my life. My demon has been un employed for quite some time, nothing to protect me from, she does that job extremely well. 

Title your blog my 5 ways, I look forward to reading how your life has been bettered.  Much love Lion ?

It utterly amazes me of just how childish some people are, heads up ladies there are quite a few newbies who will never learn. Walls up let the true Dom's knight up and conquer your walls with intelligence. 

We now return you to the cesspool swim at your own risk. Shit my dog is smarter. 

Words from the insane asylum, thanks for taking note.

Good morning everyone or Kalamera, Kalaspera, Kalanychta, good morning, good evening, good night, depending on what time zone you're currently in.

First, let me tell you a quick little story. While working my last job my boss and I was with a new employee one day, and we were working in one of the many buildings we serviced. This young man, overheard my conversation with my boss, and made the comment "you guys are married you are guaranteed pussy every day". This made both of us to laugh out loud about how inexperienced this kid was to life and to women in general. Reminded me of the old saying, young dumb, and full of cum.

Wisdom: the soundness of action or decision with regard to the application of knowledge, experience and good judgment.

Wisdom is something learned over time, you just don't wake up one day with all the answers.

Now, experience can be achieved in a shorter amount of time with the proper training, think learning to flip burgers at McDonald's, a lot of people have done this job. This does not take years of knowledge, training, and experience like many other jobs require.

So what is my point? In this lifestyle what do you seek, wisdom, experience, or both? Do you seek a Dom that has crafted his skill over many years through knowledge, experience, and/or observation. Do you seek a Dom that has had many subs that claims experience? Do you want a sub knowledgeable and experienced or one you train from day one? This is all up to the individual on what they seek as far as preference. I know what I was looking for and found it.

Now let's talk seriously about observation. Ask yourself, do you have a good observation skill or do you just skim the cliff notes to this lifestyle?

In May of this year I will have been around for 2 years, time flies when you're having fun. In this short time I have used the wisdom, knowledge, and experience to find what I was looking for. Took me less than two months after countless messages, profile reading, and observations to find my beautiful lioness. We have had our share of hard times, her being sick for months, me not feeling well, bills, stress from life and from family, but in the end it's all good.

I have observed lately with reading blogs, seeing profiles, hearing about imploded relationships, to those I wish to extend a heartfelt hug. That said every good relationship starts with honesty, plain and simple, if you lie it dies. It takes a lot of communication, a lot of questions, and it take's a lot of patience, especially if its long distance. It's not all sugar and spice, it's about blood sweat and sometimes tears that make any relationship a great one.

Now let me offer some wisdom, knowledge, and experience, along with observation, for not just the new but the old also if you're making the same mistakes.

1) If no effort was put into writing a profile, how much effort will be put into the relationship? A profile should be the first step in getting to know someone, like meeting a stranger "Hi how are you" it starts a longer conversation.

2) Look at how long they have been here. Did they just joined? Are they saying, "I'm an expert, bow down to me" or "Let me move in, I make a great sub". Ok, let's see your resume with references.

3) If you're going to post pictures make sure they are tasteful. If you're showing everything, maybe shuffle over to FetLife, the craigslist of BDSM. If you're just looking for sex, there are many places to find it. I'm sure it exist here also, but a good portion of you want what is real, not wham bam thank you sir or sub. Explicit pictures should be shared with someone you are intimate with, unless you enjoy showing everything off, then who am I to judge?

4) I cannot stress this enough, ask questions, ask more questions, and ask more fucking questions, it's how we learn. Gather all the knowledge, and make informed decisions.

5) Actions speak louder than words, if they say they're going to do something and they don't, give them a little time, if it doesn't happen ask yourself "how valuable is my time"?

6) Look for the person who fills your life with happiness, and without all the work. If it takes too much work it's just a job, and will not be enjoyable.

Lastly, I will say this, love yourself inside and out, be the person who you want to be, never settle for what you could have had, but be satisfied with what you do have. Don't ever need someone to be happy with in your own life, this you need first and foremost before you welcome someone in you truly want.

Take your time to discover who you truly are before trying to figure what you want and need. Life is too short to waste time on what could have been.

Good day my cage family, I hope this helps. Big hugs and much love. 

(Grammar corrected by Hazel, so if there is any mistakes blame me LOL) 

I first started cooking when my mother was hospitalized for 2 months at the age of 13 right after my brother died. Didn't cook a lot of things, eggs were easy, grilled cheese,chocolate chip cookies, nothing to difficult. Oh and the kicker was I developed an allergy to eggs a few years later. Imagine having eggs for breakfast, being able to clear a room from the stench and within thirty minutes rushing for the bathroom. Needless to say I quit eating eggs for about 20 years. 

After I left work almost 11 years ago, my cooking skills were ok but not what I would say proud enough to entertain a woman over for dinner or host a party. I'm quite sure spaghetti and jarred sauce with frozen meatballs wouldn't win you a second date or something else. 

Throughout those years I have had plenty of time to perfect my skills in the kitchen, I started by watching damn near every chef on PBS that didn't make cooking look like a major fiasco, easy to learn but extremely delicious. 

My spaghetti sauce is all homemade, along with the meatballs, have even made my own pasta. Make bread on occasion, cakes, pies, cookies,  have expanded my foods to dinner party proud.

When her mother was her in August I fed her well enough that she gained about 10 pounds, so when she went back home if we mention what we had or are having for dinner it's met wth a resounding Fuck you. 

Now this brings me to last week's menu, Tuesday shrimp risotto, Wednesday marinated flank steak with peas and carrots, Thursday she went shopping, steamed shrimp with old bay, homemade meatballs in her own bbq sauce, 18 full sized chicken wings think drumets and wings tossed with bbq sauce, hot sauce for me. Friday I fried the 2 pounds of bacon she bought, we have enough food to feed a small group of people. Needless to say it's going to be leftovers for the next few days. 

Since meeting my beautiful lioness, I've even been doing a few Greek dishes so far her and her mother approve. She is a wonderful cook in her own right and dinner has been quite delicious. Now if I can just get her to let me use the gravy in the bedroom I could do dinner and dessert. ?  much love to all. ?