My rants

I keep getting very annoying and sarcastic b*tchiness from dochebag wannabes.
I do NOT lie. If I am not into you or you are one of my many dealbreaker, I will tell you straight up. I usually try to be polite and wish you luck.
However if you are rude me, I will be ride back, get the last say and block you.

I keep getting guys who say I am making excuses like my phone is broke or I do not use kik, snap, or skype.

First of all, they do not know my situation.

• I have health issues, (fibriods and endrmetrisos) and both cause extreme pain when I have sex both in penetration and during the orgasm. (I have cramps at least through 3/4th of the month, yes this makes me both depressed and cranky and NO I and NOT looking for sex, that includes oral too.)
• I have some mental issues.
  These two things have made it hard for me to find a job. (Which makes it hard to fix my dead tract phone of 5 years.)

Secondly I am very picky about talking to people. I have gotten catfished, ghosted and harassed. 
I like to talk to someone on whatever site I started with first in case, we just don't connect. I will NOT give anyone my chat info unless there is some good, connection between us.
I just do not like snap, I tried it and I kept getting minors faking their age.
I hate kik, i cant talk to two people at the same time without thinking that i am a f*cking bot
I had a fcking stalker on Skype so I deleted it. He claimed he was sub, but all he wanted me to do was to tell him to jack off. (What the fck do I get out of that? Not a D@mn thing, especially when I offline dominance does nothing for me.)

Third, Submissive do NOT talk like they are better than me or than demand all of the answers.
I am willing to answer anyone's questions, just please kindly ask. (I am open book, but I may not have the answers or stories you want to hear.)

For those decent people and fellow reader sorry you had to read my bitter rant, but it sickens me when some calls me a liar.

(This a special treat for Valentine's day)

I finally find a guy who likes me, and I like him too. We established an Female led relationship: We enjoy each other's company. We make each other laugh. We kiss. We Cuddle. I demand things. He does them with a smile.

I feel my good boy deserves a treat. I know my lustful moves and my sweet body spray probably has been driving him crazy. However I am the dominant. I must be in control.

I have him lay on bed completely naked. I am wearing a comfortable purple teddy. I cuff each wrist to the posts on the head of the bed. Then cuff his ankles to each post on the foot of the bed.

"Safe words: Red light mean stop and yellow means slow down, okay?" I state. He agree. I make him repeat each word and ask what each mean. Then I ask. . .
"Who am I?"
"You are my beautiful, sexy dominant girlfriend. You are my Mistress of words and my Goddess of the Bedroom."
"You are my good boy." He passes the verbal test. I kiss him hard sliding my tongue pass his lips.
"I will be right back." I walk way for a few moments to let him think about being there.

I come back with chocolate syrup and whipped cream.
"How is my good boy?" I ask grinding my body weight on him as I kiss him harder.
"I need my Goddess. I want my Mistress." I kiss him harder and deeper with his words.
I feel his hardness under me.
"Your friend wants to play with us." I crawl down. I grab his cock.
"What is this?" I ask while I stroke.
"It is your cock my beloved Mistress. All yours. Please do with it as you wish."
"Since you have been a good boy, we are going to play a game." I demand. I am not giving him a choice.
"It is simple. . . I love giving a good blow job. You have been sweet and very good all week, so this is how we play. You will compliment me as I suck. If I feel you really mean your words, then I will let you release. If you are simply just being nice, then you will not cum and I will put a cock cage on for time of my choosing. Do you understand?" I question.
"Yes, my Mistress." He moan, and his growing cock is already throbbing from my stroking.

I roll the cock ring on his hard cock. I spray the whipped cream and drizzles the chocolate sauce.
"Once I start licking, you start to compliment me, all of me." I demand. I lick swallowing the sweet and salt mixture.
"Oh My beautiful, wonderful Goddess, I love your curves. They make me so hard." He moans. I suck the sugary cream off.
"Everyday I just want to make you happy." I moan and smile licking and teasing his cock with my moaning and vibrating lips.
"I love your smile. I love, I mean really love your laugh! I never want to be the reason you cry or frown!" I lick and suck on the tip of his cock. He arches into me as the nerves on the tip of his cock are just so sensitive.
"Oh Goddess yes. You are my blessing." I put at least two inches of his cock in my mouth and swirl and suck.
"I will give up the entire world for you." I want to say "Good boy," but I focus on his cock, now my cock, my living blood-filled, twitching toy. I push his cock deeper in my mouth.
Oh, damn, oh yess. I need you!" I know he loves the feeling. I grab his hips to get him deep in my mouth. I love the salty taste of his pre-cum mixed with the sweetness of the whipped cream and chocolate.
"Oh My Goddesss, yess. Damn it,I want you!" He exclaim in a moan-ful cry. I have his entire cock in my mouth. The tip of his cock can tickle the back of my throat. My mouth is hot, wet and very sticky.
"Oh Goddess, I love your tongue." I slide him out of my mouth as my tongue teasing the back of his cock. I add more whipped cream to his balls and lick and suck each of them as I watch his cock switch.
"You make me get up in the morning, Goddess." I massage the small piece of skin with my fingers just between his asshole and balls. I hear him gasp.
"I just can't wait to finish my work to be with you." He speaks in a slightly higher pitch. I tease the head of his cock again while massage that piece of skin, more pre-cum oozes out. I lick it up. I push his cock in deep.
"Oh Gooddess, you are so beautiful. You are just amazing." I bob my head more as I push his cock deep in my throat.
"I love when you speak and put me in my place." He is so breathless and dry. I can hear him trying to get moisture with his lips, in between his many excited moans.
"You make me a better man." It stops me for a second and pull his cock out of my mouth. I unroll the cock ring and then I lick up and down the base.
"I cannot see my life without you." He gasped. His cock is throbbing. We both know he is a very good boy and I am very touched by his words. I bob my head up and down letting my wet tongue slide again his throbbing cock. I have his cock go in deep again as I hear. . .
"I. . . I love you, my beautiful goddess." I suck hard and swirl bobbing my head up and down just a few times before he arches into me and his cock explodes.
I swallow half and then I kiss him so he can taste himself. Then we laid in bed just talking to each other.

I keep getting guys who have no ambition on their own. THIS WHAT I DO NOT WANT. (A submissive is NOT someone who ONLY relies on the Domme for everything. I will NOT tell you to pee or take a dump, your body does that. I do NOT want a submissive as a puppet or a scarecrow (all I want is a brain). I’ve had a submissive before with his own thoughts, IT CAN HAPPEN AGAIN!)

I want a guy with his own hopes and dreams. . . (NOT someone who relies on mine.)
 I want to be able to support each other with our own dreams. (If you want to go sky diving, make your own cook book, rock climbing, make your own video game, collect action figures, travel, go to a com-a-con in each state etc Then please tell me. )
I played video games, RPG, watched Anime, and painted with my ex. 

To be honest, if the only things you want to do is “please” or make your future domme “happy.” Do NOT seek me.  I’ve learned the only person who can make me happy is ME. (The happiest time I honestly had was, when I was with my submissive ex, was the four hours in which I wrote my novel. Dominance and control are more a need to calm my anxiety.) I need support, not happiness. 

I need someone who lets me control the budget, menu, and activities (micromanaging) . . .  I want him to believe that I am controlling the household in the benefit of both of us. I am more practical than anyone I know with money and most food. I want to exercise together and compete (with bets and such like if my submissive boyfriend wins, we did to do his favorite activity, if I win I get massages or he makes my favorite meal etc.)

I need someone into me, not my domiance. It's a huge part of me, but it is NOT all of me. 

Many say I just want to control a vanilla relationship, but to be honest, I want somewhere between a FLR and vanilla date life (as I am NOT keen on letting the public know I am dominant as I have gotten called B*tch, babysitter, and other unkind and mean names for simply wanting control. The name calling, the fake friends, the gossip really kill my confidence even as a dominant. I feel it usually done by those who do NOT understand and they are afraid to ask questions.

 FLR needs to be agreed on both sides and the levels needs to be discussed. There is a very helpful scene in both book and movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” in which he gave her contract in which there was a list of kinks and fetishes in which she could ask about and agree or disagree to. Communication is a huge thing for me. If a submissive just says whatever the dominant wants, and has no opinion of his own, then please seek someone else because you are a puppet.

I need a guy who knows what he wants (which is me in the mix of things) and wants to control the household things. . . He can do chores, errands, help me and support me to earn fun time, release, and special time, allowance etc.

In other blog,  I will explain what is would be like living together.

I keep getting guys what can I do for you. . . get to know me and see if you like me (and let me get to know to see if I like you too) and then we'll work on the dominance. 

I need to listen to my gut. It is saying . . . I need to focus on myself right now. I cannot give my future submissive boyfriend (who is into me as human, not just a dominant), the full dominant experience.

I do NOT like or enjoy chastity or ruin orgasms. I feel it's mean. I am more about controlled pleasure, NOT pain.
Currently, I have to be in a chastity because as I have explained before I have endometriosis and fibroid. These cause a very super-sensitive pelvis. For the last four plus years if I have an orgasm my body gets stiff and I have severe cramps for days. I cannot enjoy sex anymore. Where is the fairness in letting my submissive orgasm while I simply remained teased and flustered?
I am going to see different doctors for these issues this year. My goal is a hysterectomy as I do NOT want kids. I also want as little scar tissue down there as possible.

It’s very weird how since December, when I decide I’m not looking for anyone special, that everyone seems to pop out of the wood work. Last Thursday I got several guys that were interested in my dominance . . . not me. Last Friday, I got a story from a male friend and a stuffed unicorn from another. (I didn’t ask for either one, both were sweet gestures though.)

I am just asking for more readers and friends at this moment in my life . . . I can't deal with a submissive boyfriend right now. (Besides I’m sick of the guys who just want my dominance and NOT interested in me.)

NOTE: Please read my profile. I am very honest in who I am and what I want. If you are not what I want please simply move on.

Most of the time when I chat with someone I state right away. I'm either just looking for cuddly, food friends.
Or I'm seeking a submissive boyfriend for a long term female led relationships possible marriage.
I'm into chastity, control, and micromanagement.
I'm not into humiliation or sissies or pain or extreme sex. (Or sex at all due to health issues.)

Talking to others, and reviewing profiles, it made me think about the idea of humiliation. . . .
Humiliation is different to everyone. 
When I think of humiliation, I usually go straight to public embarrassment. You know making someone feel bad for doing something, usually accidently, wrong. To me, it feel more negative than positive or fun.
To me directing someone or leading them, is not humiliation. Correction is not humiliation, especially if they are bettering themselves or correct a bad habit or action.
As a dominant, I try to use all assets including my future submissive boyfriend in the most productive and positive way that I can.

I do not like belittling others. I do not like putting others down.
I like control, but not in away that makes others feel bad.

(Pardon my french) but I do have a very bitchy, moody side; in which, I snap at others. My family even calls me the bear. I feel bad as soon as I snap. I instantly want to make it up to those I snap at. I feel like a humiliated monster. I don't like the feeling of belittle why would others like the feeling to be belittled?

I just want a submissive boyfriend who loves me and wants me happy while he is chastity and earns his love. (My previous ex got me into it and I want it again.)

The ironic part of this is that man (who was married, but never posted it on his profile) inspired me to write this. He wants humiliation, it will be humiliate if his wife finds out. (Why marry someone who isn't things you are or at least compromise sometimes? sigh. . . Its my loneliness talking)

(What is so screwed up is I one of the most loyal people around yet people who cheating and hurting each other are getting some else special.grrr that is another cranky blog for another day.)

I'm NOT deleting this blog, but I am taking a break. (From erotica and dating) 

I feel my muses are going in a different direction with my writing at this point. I am trying to get my writing caught up, and work on my paranormal. 

However I am sure will come back with my naughty writing sometime.

Meanwhile please enjoy my writings on here.

Once I get my literotica.net figured out, I will post the link on my profile. 

I am focusing on me

I am NOT seeking a relationship for a while. (Yes, I know I have posted this, and yet I still keeping getting random guys that don’t read still sending me messages posting “do you want a slave?”)
• I DO NOT want a slave, I do NOT like the term slave. I think it’s morally wrong. (There is a huge difference between a submissive and slave. I was seeking a relationship, not an owner to a previous human now an object to do whatever the owning dominant wishes. I am NOT into that!)
• I do NOT Message me if you honestly did NOT read my entire profile or at least my deal-breakers. (I know what I want and what I do not want. Honestly, I want a reader more than submissive. The ironic thing is the people who read this blog are the same people who would actually read my profile, so thank you for both. The thing is I am writer first and dominant girlfriend second.)
• I am NOT seeking someone just to tell them what to do. (I eventually want someone so in-sync with me that he know what I want and what I don’t. if I have a craving, he knows to get it. Someone who wants me to be happy, but know I want them to have their own mind, dreams and things to make them happy too. I LOVE to micromanage, because I am a control-freak and being in control makes me feel better, it’s NOT my top ten things that make me happy.)
• I am NOT seeking an online half-ass wannabe relationship thing. (I have very weak wifi, my landlord is cheap and thinks a basic house modem can deal with more than ten devices. We have at least four running in our place alone. I also have NO privacy. I will NOT give my messengers or phone number just after one message or one day of messaging. I have learned my lesson. That just means I am dealing with impatient people. I just have one word for that CATFISH.)
• I do NOT want someone who just wants to “please” their dom sexually. (9 men out of 10 do NOT know what they are doing orally. Please google techniques. Hears two hints do not write letters or swirl with the tongue, and find the clit, its one of the most sensitive spots for most females.)

When I did search, I was looking for a submissive boyfriend . . . committed and connected relationship first, dominance second. I wanted someone into me, get to know me, read my work, and understand and truly me, and I did NOT get what I was seeking. I heard this on a podcast that even celebrity just want their relationships to be easy. It makes sense to me, let things come naturally. If you have to force things to make it work, then what is the point? At the end of the day, you are both tired and I just want to be able to enjoy the person I am with. I cannot do that completely in a relationship at this moment.)

I need to focus on my health issues.
• Currently my sleep patterns are off ( my cpap machine not really helping completely yet).
• I have a rash from the location I am in (the cheap paint and some of the bleach products that they use).
• My emotional issues (hyper, sad, angry, bouncy. . . uncontrolled mood swings and hormonal issues), and my female pains (taking sexual intimacy off the table. Which honestly sucks).
• Then I lost my main adult blog (tumblr, sigh. Anyone under 18 is off limits, it should be no one under 21 just to be safe, but someone dumbass has to pull in minors. It is wrong. For the horny teenagers, keep it your head, we do NOT need kids having more kids. . . enjoy your life. Because you can’t obey the damn law, I can’t express myself, damnit. Grrr. . . my 2 cent ramble.)

The thing is the three main reasons I cannot get a relationship.
• I think I do not have someone else yet is that I do not want to put my health issues on anyone else.
• I feel there is needs to be some kind of physical intimacy in a relationship and I think both side need to and want to cum it makes it fair grounds (I'm not asexual or grey sexual at the moment by choice.)
• I am not sure if I am truly over my ex as I keep comparing others to him and most do not add up (there is also a fear of getting hurt again. I know I am strong, but I am still working on the heal process. I do not think I can take another blow.)

I may take time off the personal sites for a while as I keep getting guys who instant want the dominant and slave, and yet there is no connection, no real relationship. I think I need to rewrite my profile because I keep getting guys against my deal-breakers. Some just want instant direction because they just do not want to control their own lives anymore and others just want to sexual please someone. . . I am NOT seeking either.

I think the best for me is to find friends who I truly connect with.
I rather have fun with friends some dinners, karaoke parties, card or board games, cuddles with movies, and if there is that submissive-yet-more-than-friends connections I get with someone, awesome. If not, I am still happy with who I am.
If you want to be friends, awesome. If not then I hope you find the dominant. (Note: if you are into a relationship, please let your other know that you have friends. I will NOT be a secret.)

So I’m focusing on myself.

He snuck into her room. . . with no permission. 

He found his Christmas gifts, unwrapped.

He saw his new fuzzy cuffs. 

He was so instantly hard pushing again his cold metal cage. The cage kept it down, and made his desire more intense. 

He wanted to play now, with all his new toys. 

"What are you doing?" The dominant mistress caught him in her room.

He had the fuzzy cuffs in his hands.

"I want to play." He wined.

"No. Put it back, it was for Christmas. Put everything back." She got the paddle with drilled holes and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Normal naughty boys get coal, but submissive naughty boys get a red ass. Now over my knees you very bad boy."

"Yes, my mistress." He laid over her knees with his bare ass in the air. 

"Count, if you miss, I will add the viberator and make you recount. Now before we start why are you getting punished?"

"I was in your room without permission."

"And?" She asked.

"I was into the presents without permission."

The first smacks were done correctly and count just like he was supposed to. His ass was just a minor stinging and rosy-pinkish color. He called the 5th smack number 4. 

"You messed up. It was spanking 5, not 4 twice." She didnt know if the minor horniness and pain got him upset or if he secretly liked the vibrations in his ass.

"However instead of using the viberator while I spank you. I going to have you lead over the edge of the bed finish much harder and fuck your ass with my big bertha strapon." She felt so deviant. She had him lead over the and she swung the paddle like a bat with both hands as she could almost hear tears in his voice. Each paddle getting harder, the smsck sound louder and his hot ass much redder. 

"You took my moment away of me seeing you surprised on Christmas day." She stated putting the strap-on with extra long and wide and thick didlo. She can barely put her fingers around it. She added the guilt as lubed it with an extra slippery lube. 

"I knew you wanted those cuffs. Now you have to wait to use them. She added an vibrating egg between her pussy and the strap-on. She turn it on low and pushed the strap-on inch by intense inch. She didn't even give him warning, it was punishment not fun time.

Once she got it in half way, she turn her egg onto medium and main riding his ass. She push him deeper and turn it on high and gasp push in deep as she came. She did this for three rounds. She pulled out. 

He did not dare to ask to cum.

"Will you do it again?"

"Oh god, mistress, no." He was so very sore.

"Good. Now run me a bath and go clean the strap-on."

As a writer, I am an open book, I will post 99.9 percent things. I will answer the personal questions. 

I am a nice and try to be a helpful person. However I know what and who I want and what I don't. 

I will not bend my deal breakers . . . (age limit is 25 to 46. I will not seek those 50 or older. I feel more comfortable with men closer to my own age. I have tried to date older, and I have NOT had similarities or connection with. Yes, it also a slightly an attractive factor.)

I will not get with married men even if their wives let them. 

I have posted in several blogs my dealbreaker for reasons. This includes friends.

I can have readers 18 and up but I really want friends my own ages and who are preferably single. (If you are taken I will not get sexual or flirty in my chats, just straight forward q and a.)

Do NOT mistake my nicest for weakness. You do not want to see my b*tchy bear side and I don't want to show it.

As a writer, I am an open book, I will post 99.9 percent things. I will answer the personal questions. 

I am a nice and try to be a helpful person. However I know what and who I want and what I don't. 

I will not bend my deal breakers . . . (age limit is 25 to 46. I will not seek those 50 or older. I feel more comfortable with men closer to my own age. I have tried to date older, and I have NOT had similarities or connection with. Yes, it also a slightly an attractive factor.)

I will not get with married men even if their wives let them. 

I have posted in several blogs my dealbreaker for reasons. This includes friends.

I can have readers 18 and up but I really want friends my own ages and who are preferably single. (If you are taken I will not get sexual or flirty in my chats, just straight forward q and a.)

Do NOT mistake my nicest for weakness. You do not want to see my b*tchy bear side and I don't want to show it.