I was encouraged to write my story and share what happened so that other femsubs wouldn't be taken in by my last Dom. He is still at the cage and I'll share the link to his profile in pm if anyone wants to know who he is.
He contacted me about a month and a half ago and we began to talk via pm here, eventually moving to texts and phone calls.
I thoroughly enjoyed talking to him and learning about his life. He is a Born Again Christian, which is what I was looking for and an experienced Dom.
All seemed normal to me as we talked. But one red flag I saw was that he wanted me to accept a collar of consideration after only a day of talking to him. After asking him what he considered that to be, I said no and that it was too early to do that. He was okay with that.
So little by little I got attached to him. And eventually accepted him as my Dom. Things seemed to be going well but I did notice that once he had the "prize" he began talking to me less and less. It's happened to me before but I kept it in the back of my mind.
Finally we decided to meet halfway between us at a hotel. He asked me to pick the motel and book the weekend that he selected. He said he would compensate me for all my expenses for the trip. And he told me what he wanted me to wear.
The location was 400 miles away, but still only a days drive. I got there and brought all the stuff in which you can see photos of earlier in my blog. And I got ready for him.
He showed up about 9 pm and we began to play. Just oral for both of us and the only penetration was one of his fingers. Afterwards we slept in each other's arms.
Sometime during the night he left. When I woke up at 5 am to turn over and hold him, the bed was empty. He mentioned the night before that he had to get some coffee in the morning and asked if I wanted something as well. We had enough food so I said no.
Around 9 am I texted him and told him that his key card was still on the bathroom sink and he'd have to knock to get in. I also told him that I had breakfast for us. There was no response.
At 10 am I texted him again and said I was getting hungry and could I eat and would like him to eat with me. No response.
So having some extra time, I got all dolled up as much as I was able to and waited. At 2:30 pm without any response from him, I got angry. I changed clothes, lugged everything up and down two flights of stairs multiple times to the car, turned in my key card and gassed up the car.
At 3:30 pm I texted him to tell him I was on the road back home and that it didn't make sense to stay if he wasn't there. No response.
The next day I texted him and asked why he left. No response. A few days later after giving him time to think about the situation and continued silence I texted him and really reemed him, blistering his ears. I tried calling him first but it went to voicemail.
This man was talking marriage to me and I was submitting to him and doing tasks for him. I must have spent at least $350 during the course of our relationship finding clothes he preferred me to wear, preparing food and the time it took to accomplish everything he wanted done, plus the cost of the trip. He never compensated me for anything. Basically I did all the work and he had all the fun, responsibility free.
And on top of this he gave me Herpes 1. Either he didn't know he had it or knew he had it and didn't disclose it to me which is a direct violation of our Safe, Sane, and Consensual BDSM code.
So, now that I'm altered forever, I have no idea if a good man would even take a chance on me. I've been with other men at least 25 years ago but never got a disease from them. I guess it was my time to join the ranks of Herpes victims, which are many.
All I can say is subs be very careful in your enthusiasm to submit, that you know the person very well. Don't be quick to latch on to someone too soon just because you have a longing to submit to a Dom. If the guy protests that you are taking too long to trust him, kick him to the curb. It's not worth playing Russian Roulet with your body and your future.
Also this applies to any BDSM situation as well. Mine just happens to be Maledom/femsub.
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UPDATE:
After researching this evening (11/16) I have discovered that it is a criminal offense to give someone an STD/STI in the USA. States vary on exceptions, and each case can vary. But I'll be talking to a Sexual Abuse lawyer and get advised about my situation.
