This one is NOT about food

You said "That must have really impacted you deeply." 

The thing was it was beautiful. It was a song that had wonderful lyrics and a great melody. It was wonderful. But I know you. I saw you. I heard the words you spoke. I knew because of how you spoke. This was trauma. This was immense damage. As I listened to the song I saw you shift, uncomfortable. I saw you struggle and strain. 

I couldn't help but think over what I know about your history. I couldn't help but imagine what might have been going on the first and last time you listened to that song. I know your history, but I don't know the specific details. But I saw you fighting your demons. I saw you warring against the history your body knew. The experience that you must have felt. The way your mind and heart must have been ripped apart. I couldn't help but imagine the different horrific sensations that may have occured. 

But I also witnessed a change in you. Halfway through the song I saw you shift and turn your eyes directly onto me. I saw you begin to conquer your history by allowing a new memory to overlap the old one. It didn't take anything on my part. Just the past nearly 2 years of showing up. Being consistent. Patient. Understanding. I saw you turn your focus from the past to the present, and you stopped straining. You focused solely on me. 

The thing is as Dominants we can't change history. We can't remove the pain and suffering that anyone has experienced. We can't go back in time and stop harm or trauma. But what We do is give the present and the future hope. We give the opportunity to create something new from those old damaged spaces. 

When you care about the charge under your domain you do all you can to work at creating safe space where healing, growth and transformation can occur. 

I am a man incapable of anything beyond touching the surface. When I reach my hand out, when it makes contact with you it will only ever touch the briefest layer of who you are. My words may be able to sink into your mind and heart but even those still only impact the surface of those spaces. 

The thing is though I was created for a purpose. I have been blessed since the day I was born. I hit the genetic lottery of being "ridiculously average" which in fact is beyond average. I dont have any rare conditions. I haven't even been sick in years. My body doesnt suffer from paralysis, my lungs work exceptionally well, my body has aches and pains but I dont have significant problems that I can say I suffer because of >>> this. My existence has been one of blessings, and I can recount innumerable times where things just resolved themselves. Not because I did anything. Not because I was capable of changing the situation. When I had a need the situation presented itself such that that need was met. One way or another. 

As I walk my journey I have realized, I do not need to do, be or attempt anything. I simply need to exist. My existence will allow for the miracles and change I desire. 

I didn't set a scene. I didn't say "Today I will heal you." I simply sat and listened to a song with you. I didnt have to do more than that because of what we have been building together. I didnt have to work hard at that moment because I had laid the groundwork every single day. For years. And so when that moment came and went I didnt even realize what had occured. I saw. I heard and as I cried over the pain I knew you endured there was healing. 

I am who I am meant to be. I am a man without power, except that which has been given to me. I am a man without strength, except that which I have earned. I am a man without wisdom, except that which I have gained through experience, patience and observation. I am a man without knowledge, but I see and understand when it is right. I am a man without any ability, except what I have trained and been blessed with. I am a man without authority, except that which has been granted me. 

As we exist our experiences become ingrained into who we are. Positive or negative those things become part of what perceived life is. They become embedded into our being. I am going to do nothing except what I was put on this earth to do. I will fulfill my purpose. When I reach out, when I touch you it will not be my hand. It will be a hand guided by divine authority. It will be a hand, a word, a sensation, an experience that reaches beyond the surface. It will reach into the depths of who you are and miraculous change and healing will occur. It will transform you. You will be reborn, cleansed and made whole. I won't do anything because I am not capable of reaching past the surface, but as an emissary. As a vassal. As a servant of the One who created all I will be the conduit in which cleansing, healing and rebirth will be granted because you are of my domain. I have been given authority over you. By your choice to serve, by the grace of the Almighty, by the power of giving up your control to my guidance I will make a change in your life unlike anything seen before. 

To all those that read my words today this message is not for you. It is meant for only one. The one who has chosen to serve me. While I appreciate your time in reading what I have written, and as I hope these words will provide change in your life as you walk your journey they are not intended for you. I do hope that all who read this though end up finding their path. The path they were meant to walk. Know that when you align with where you are meant to be, great and powerful things will occur. 

Mstr J

Good Afternoon Cage friends, 

Today I feel immense gratitude. I am supported by so many wonderful and lovely people. I have been immensely busy these past two/three days unlike anything I have ever really experienced before. It has been a flurry of activity and productive progress going forward. So many little and big things being accomplished in such a short time frame. Each task requiring multiple actions in order to complete them. Phone calls being made, remade, emails sent, businesses attended and running from here to there and back again. 

Needless to say it has been liberating to go through the process as I have been waiting a while to take a lot of these actions. Because I didn't have a signed piece of paper. 

As I have been going through the process I have had the support of many amazing friends and family. Some reaching out on their own, others being called to action. I was thinking about the tools and resources available to me. What skills do I have that will accomplish the task ahead of me? Is there something or someone that would make this assignment easier? 

I have been enjoying the process of allowing creative thinking to spur solutions to different and sometimes complex problems. As I sit and reflect on my actions, what I did and didn't do, what I offered and didn't offer, what I said and didnt say, and how I have put the collective interest at the forefront of my decision making I am deeply satisfied with my conduct and behaviour. I am proud of who I am, and how I have acted. I am satisfied with my actions and how I kept my integrity. I am glad that I didn't allow bitterness or frustration to cloud my outlook and poison my domain. 

Throughout all of this, I have realized the importance of maintaining and utilizing my tools and resources. 

When you do work, accomplish a task whether it be mental, physical, emotional there are different tools to acquire and utilize. Some will be much more effective. Some will yield positive results but require more effort to get the same result. Some will just fail you because they are not fit for the task you are asking of it. It takes a wise mind to recognize when you are thrashing about with wasted energy. Yes sometimes brute force is the solution but many times over finesse goes a long ways to accomplishing the task with less damage and resistance. Its about being able to identify what is needed in the moment, what tool will serve best? 

Not only must you have the tool, but you have to maintain and keep it ready to do the necessary task. For physical items it can be simple. Keep the edge sharp. Keep it fueled. Make sure it starts. Make sure its lubricated. Make sure you measured. Make sure you know the dimensions. Make sure there is space. It doesnt do you much good to have a tool that is there but in such a state of disrepair that it will not function. Part of managing your domain is ensuring the proper care of your property. Making sure the tool is ready to accomplish its task. Now with the emotional and mental tools we have those can be harder to manage. They arent tangible. They don't hold a corporeal form. How do you sharpen something that doesn't exist? It takes intentional use of that emotional or mental tool. Repetition can be very beneficial, but it also takes the right mindset. If you practice something in a lackadaisical manner you will get practice but it's not effective. Its about using the right tool, at the right time, in the right manner that will allow you to overcome tough obstacles and help you forge your way forward. 

Part of why I am writing this today is because I want to share the importance for a Dominant to recognize their strengths and weaknesses. To recognize what resource and tools you have available and how those things may be used for your ultimate benefit. When you are given the gift of submission of an s type, as they become your responsibility, you gain the authority to utilize them to their full potential. A poor Dominant will waste a good submissive. A good Dominant will not only help their s type grow, but help them realize and exceed their potential. Its all in how you choose to utilize them. 

A self aware Dominant will be able to understand where and when they are weak within a skillset. A wise Dominant will know when it is time to allow someone of greater skill the opportunity to serve them (with their consent). A smart Dominant will have used the person of greater skill from the beginning. Let's be effective. Lets be smart. Lets be wise. Lets be self aware. 

I thank E/everyone that reads my words today and I hope they offer insight and assistance on your journey. 

Mstr J

Good evening Cage friends,

It is done. 

Mstr J

Good morning Cage friends,

We have a responsibility that we accept when we take charge of someone who willingly submits to our care. An excellent Dominant that I am fostering a relationship with has often said "You are Dominant not because of what you take, but because of what you have to give." I fully agree with him. Its not about what I get out of having a slave. Its not the service I receive the most. Its those moments when I manage to make a difference. Take for instance being able to repair a broken window from across the world to ensure my slaves well being that she doesn't freeze because now her window shuts. I was able to give her peace and safety within her dwelling and that moment of fulfilling a need and making tangible change for good in her life was a moment that was insanely fulfilling and satisfying. I like to solve problems and fix issues. I enjoy making things better and leaving a lasting positive change. 

During this week my slave has been supporting my frustration endlessly. She has been there listening, offering her quiet courage, watching me express my frustration over things that matter to me but ultimately hold no great importance in the world. She has born the weight of my frustration and helped me carry my burden. She makes my day better simply because she's there. The thing is while she has been supportive and helping me manage my reactions I had noticed (but not verbalized) that she was struggling too. I could see it written on her face. With our trip coming up more and more her history is impacting her current state of emotions and mental space. 

Now I first have a responsibility to myself. I need to care and manage my emotions because they are mine. I need to be self aware and walk my path forward, to forge a trail that she may follow in my stead. Before I can offer any assistance I need to ensure I am grounded, centered and secure. If I am unstable then I cannot help tether her. 

I had a moment within the last few weeks where we had a mishap. I altered the game plan of our trip. I have all the authority to say "Nope, we are shifting this way now." Unfortunately when you don't have a clear vision for the future and what those changes will be it causes instability. Its like a ship rocking on a storm of giant waves. Your s type is putting all their faith and trust in you to manage and direct the ship safely through the storm. If you don't have a clear direction to get through those tumultuous waves or a gameplan that instability will impact her on such a cellular level it will destroy the dynamic if left unchecked. 

I was caught in a moment where nothing I could do was able to help give her guidance because I misunderstood why she was feeling unstable. I couldnt comprehend where the disconnect was and no matter what I attempted I could not speak peace to her heart and mind. That was because I was missing a really critical element. I had stripped the floor right out from under her. All that she had based her existence on had vanished. Disappeared into thin air and she felt lost. She couldnt breathe. What was missing was giving her the grace of intention behind an action. Everything I asked her to do was based in a previous intention *I unknowingly removed*. It left her stranded and my instructions did not give her an intention to focus on. Sure I gave her direction of an action but it was meaningless without a mindset to approach it. Because the previous mindset that she walked into those spaces was gone and the actions were now left empty and void of any real benefit. The actions were empty and just screamed into her being the loss she felt and magnified the feeling of instability. 

So how does this all tie together? 

Today I saw on my slaves face her "disrupted/unsettled and trying to manage difficulty" face. Now I have been trying to manage myself and while I have been doing better than previous attempts I was quite focused on myself and not verbalizing the unsettled feelings I was witnessing in her. Because I was untethered the ground to which she attached herself was causing even more sway and shift, exponentially distorting her experience. Now while its important that I manage myself and create stable ground to help show her the way, she has given herself to me. She is my responsibility. It is my duty to assist her and work at creating a space where she will find success managing her own demons. Her own past trauma and history. I did not cause her pain and harm. I did not create the fear inside of her, but as we near the day we are set to meet this will rise as a tidal wave inside her. I have taken her on as my responsibility and part of that responsibility is working to create a space where she knows and realizes in every fibre of her being that I will not vanish. I will become more stable such that she may ground herself in me. 

Part of this process begins with open communication. She was able to set herself before work and express "I am not okay, and as we go forward this will continue to rear its head." Now, if I had been on the ball I would have pointed out "You are not okay, tell me what is bothering you." I should have been able to work at identifying the issue but I am not a mind reader. Sure I can read body language and I am improving but W/we work in collaboration. I cannot do this alone. She brought to my attention am issue that I now get to help her work through. I get to do my job. I get to use my creative mind to speak to this trauma and work at healing this part of her damaged past. Even just bringing this topic to the forefront of communication allows U/us to acknowledge and allow a part of it to be placed at ease. Its not immediately fixed. There is still a ways to go to help speak peace and healing to this area, but we are walking towards healing together now. 

It is my responsibility to manage what is mine. I need to strive to be healthy in mind, heart, body and spirit such that I create a stable foundation to secure and ensure the well being of my property. By working on myself I create the foundation for health and well being that allows growth not just in myself but in those that choose to accept my dominion over them. My slave has put this at my feet and it is an opportunity to grow our dynamic. To build trust. To bring about healing and improvement. I get to give. Now I just need to remember to create a solid intention behind the tasks and actions that I put in place such that there is clear direction and proper guidance. Its about creating a solid well defined plan of moving forward, sideways or backwards such that there is certainty and trust no matter which way we turn and move. 

To those that read my words today I thank you and I hope that witnessing a small piece of O/our journey helps bring clarity and guidance on your own walk. 

Mstr J

Good evening Cage friends,

Life is so very interesting. So many occurrences and different ups and downs. As well as life has been going there are still many moments that require my focused attention into managing my emotions. 

Recently (over the last few weeks) there has been tremendous growth in realizing and overcoming faults, mishaps, miscommunications and understanding the concept of self awareness. 

This lifestyle, this journey that we set about walking can be such a treasure trove of information and radical improvement. Despite the struggles, the heartache, the pain we move forward. One really important concept is being able to look for the weaknesses we hold. To really observe ourselves and critically look at our patterns of behaviour, to recognize our faults and shortcomings. To recognize where and why hurt and emotional reactions take place. 

We all have triggers and responses to information, and our perception will many times shape our interaction. When we see something negatively we jump into defensive formations, guarding our internal or external well being. Holding fast to keeping the awful bad thing away. But just because something is hard, hurtful or difficult to get through doesnt necessarily make it "bad". There can be such tremendous growth from walking through those hard moments. Our failures and failings can help transform who we are. If we observe with a watchful eye, gleaning any information about how we handle life. Learning who we are in strife, how we respond. Why we respond or react. What about that particular situation sets us off? 

If you approach with a critical mindset you can learn what not to do, how not to react. It doesnt mean we will get it all sorted after one mistake. But we can work at building a foundation of stability because we could fit one more piece that holds up who we are. We recognize that we dont do well when accused, or feel put down. There are a million different experiences and all of them can lend to growth in both positive and negative directions. So much of who we are can be defined by what happens around us, or what happens to us. 

A large focus of my life recently has been to live with honour, integrity and respect. The thing is, its easy to be respectful or have honour when all is well. When it's roses and sunshine and rainbows. But to hold onto those things in frustration, anger, disappointment? That's another story. 

Just the other day I had an experience which soured my mood and left me mired in frustration. I couldn't shake myself out of it and despite the best efforts of my slave (she had nothing to do with my frustration) she wasn't able to pull me free of my frustration. I had to take a hard reset and walk away for a moment alone and some clarity. The thing was I was projecting onto her. I was impacting her day because I was struggling to manage my own emotions. I didn't want to ruin the time we had left together for the day. I didn't want to sour the night because I was struggling to manage myself. But when I get frustrated sometimes I just want to live in that space. I am working on handling those spaces, working at being able to set myself right. Part of moving through my frustration though is not diminishing it. To feel it. Accept it. Exist with it. Allow it to be present, identify why I am feeling that way, give it its space and once I am at peace with my frustration release it. 

Fortunately I was able to work at setting it aside and refocus on a bit of story time so that we could continue to enjoy our evening and allow that frustration to wash away. Its not an easy thing but its part of my growth and something I am learning to manage more successfully bit by bit. 

Again its not about resolving your problems in a moment because likely they are engrained and will take multiple iterations of working through those issues to break free of that negative cycle. Its about trying to be better today than I was yesterday, because we cant go back in time and change who we were. But we do get to choose today who I will be. How will I respond? How will I choose to act today? Build those blocks today while looking toward the future. It will get better but it takes constant determined behaviour and action to intentionally work on resolving those issues. 

To those that read my words today, thank you. I hope you find something worthwhile to help you in your journey and that you find success in forward movement. 

Mstr J

Good morning Cage friends,

Welcome to a new edition of the same old. There has been a tremendous amount of goings on in life. It can be insane. Challenging. Difficult. Stressful. Tiresome. 

Life is stuck in a bit of a holding pattern at the moment although the flood gates are about to release. I know for many with the Christmas season just ending and New Years right around the corner many are trying to create New Years resolutions and goals for their future. For me, I dont actually "believe" in resolutions specifically for the new year. I think that we need to make change when it needs to happen. When we struggle and fall down hard. When we realize that we may be more broken in areas we thought we were fine. 

I have set goals and ambitions for myself and have been working towards them semi diligently with moments of absolute dedication and moments of just barely passing the lowest standard over the last coming up on 2 years now. I have made progress in so many spaces and realized that I fall short in many more. I believe it is folly to wait for a new year to create a new me and that we should be developing and moulding ourselves each day. Especially once we achieve awareness of a shortcoming. 

In all honesty, I have been struggling lately trying to manage aspects of my divorce. I am finding new levels of old issues that have plagued me for decades. Problems that have existed all my life and now with the current situation as it stands weighing down and showing me that: Yes I really do struggle in this area. 

The thing with challenges and stress in our lives is that many times they are there because we have not learned a lesson. Right now I am working at establishing my boundaries, attempting to improve my self preservation and working at honouring myself and acting with integrity for myself. But I seem to fail more often than I succeed. Or so my mind likes to try and convince me. Because the actual factual truth is that I have made progress. I have found some success in these areas of my life. But I also do still struggle here. Immensely at moments. Overwhelmingly so at others. 

I am trying to learn and actively participate in understanding when I need to set a boundary of enough is enough. When is that line in the sand drawn? When will I personally reach that point? In many cases I have mentally. I can voice my frustration about being fed up and wanting to be finished and done. But when it comes down to acting on it, I dont follow through. 

So I dabble in golf, and by no means am I decent. I still have yet to break 100 as my best score last year was that exactly. (Although I did miss an eagle putt that could have set a record breaking 98 on my birthday) Alas it was not meant to be. The interesting thing about a golf swing is how the most minute alteration or adjustment can have large impacts on the result. Missing the sweet spot when striking the ball can net a vastly different distance travelled, can cause hooks and slices that put you right into hazards or take you out of play completely. The wind up of a golf swing is important, the contact is absolutely essential but the thing is if you don't follow through you will still fall short of where you are trying to go. 

I am learning so many lessons. Life, its challenges can be wondrous opportunities to grow and radically improve. If you bring the right mindset to the approach and how you handle it. What is the lesson of this struggle? What is it that you need to grasp and own to move forward? Many things seem to happen at random, but each event and trial can be a learning opportunity to create the next best version of who you are meant to be. 

I dont want to allow myself to become bitter. I don't want to allow negativity to pervade my life. I need resolution and forward movement. I am ready to end the last chapter and begin the next one. I am eager for what the future holds but I am also aware that I have some critical learning to do right now. I wont be able to move forward until I learn my lesson. I wont be able to take the next steps in life until I follow through and take hold of the current situation. 

I am grateful for the many blessings in my life. I am grateful for the pain and strife because those things are forging into me the values and skills necessary to become a more complete human. 

I hope the Christmas season has brought joy and happiness into your lives, that you have been able to reconnect with lost family or found new family. If you have been struggling over Christmas know that its only for a season, that it will pass and if you are willing to do the work it will become the foundation for growth and empower better things in your life. 

To all those that take the time to read my words I thank you, and I hope you find something that encourages you on your journey. Be well and a happy New Year to A/all. 

Good day dear Cage friends,

I was asked a very important question during an interaction that I am continuing to look forward to. 

The question revolved around my dynamic and what some of my plans were going to include once new changes occur in my life. 

If Y/you didn't catch my last blog it revolved around some of the happenings of my life. I am in a very prosperous place and I have the opportunity to completely restart my life. At the same time none of this will stop taking work. As life changes W/we must evolve with it. 

Now I need to tell Y/you a secret. 

My answer was remarkably poor. I responded by telling him: "Im going to wait and see." 

The LEAST Dominant answer I could possibly offer. I mean I muttered and tried to scramble and think of some things on the spot. I really was dumbfounded because I had no real concrete plan or path forward once this change occurs in my life. I was simply going to exist and allow to see how the nature of my dynamic was going to shift once January rolls around. 

Now for those that are unaware I currently exist inside a long distance dynamic, and things have been moving steadily forward. Piece by piece everything is starting to fall into place. 

But there are challenges and difficulties that exist inside a LDR, being able to feel connected and close when miles and miles separate you. How do Y/you manage and keep all that intensity alive? How do Y/you grow a dynamic from a distance? 

Well Y/you can definitely "wait and see", but if Y/you don't have a vision for the future and some clarity. Some self awareness. If Y/you aren't striving to push Y/yourself further then Y/your dynamic will fall flat on its face. 

So take some time and learn to understand what Y/you need. Learn what Y/your nature is. Take a moment and reflect on who Y/you are. Be able to identify what is important and necessary in Y/your life and then find someone who fits with the authentic version of who Y/you are. 

See part of my nature is that I want to allow what I am feeling in the moment to help inspire what action I take. I am an opportunist. I will see or hear a need that sticks in my brain, it sits there and the next moment when the right situation arises I will take my chance to act on it. So going with the flow is in essence a part of who I am, but I panic when I get put on the spot and I don't always handle myself as well as I would like to. So waiting to see what happened in my dynamic is an extension of that but the problem comes when the change is world shattering. The larger the change, the more impactful that change will be in your s type. 

Let's go back to an example. Lets say Y/you are about to lose time, space, closeness, daily interaction and consistency within Y/your dynamic. Those things are about to walk out the door but you have about a month to prepare. 

Part of where W/we choose our path is in how W/we approach situations. Do Y/you sit back and wait and see what happens? 

Or

Do Y/you take the remaining time Y/you have to develop the next stage of where things are going. Do Y/you have a plan for the future? 

Now regardless of what Y/you do, Y/your s type is going to basically hit a withdrawal. There will be so much anxiety, nervousness, worry and fear that is going to overwhelm her. Its going to sit deep inside and whether its internalized, vented, handled in whatever manner. Its important to recognize that different individuals will respond in different ways. Part of the process is learning how Y/your girl reacts. How stress affects her. Making sure Y/you are being observant and keeping a close eye on what things she starts doing or stops. 

So go back to the example. First how do Y/you properly speak to her heart and help her see that regardless of what may occur nothing is going to change. Because part of the responsibility of owning property is to care for it. Making sure that Y/your dynamic is safe, secure and that there is hope for the future. Its not just about this moment. Its not just about today. Its what do Y/you see in the future? 

Part of a really important lesson is that large change will yield similar sized results. So think about small things that maybe can be brushed off if they didn't exist inside Y/your dynamic. Y/you might be a little annoyed or bothered with its absence but it wouldn't truly impact you. Its a small hurt. But if Y/you lost everything Y/you had, Y/you would be devastated. Its absolutely heart crushing. But the flip side is true. As someone who holds complete authority over another individual, Y/you have so much potential to make changes. To make positive growth and change in Y/your girls life. To radically shift her existence, to bring healing, to bring joy, to bring pleasure or even pain. Y/you have the ability to choose what happens and where things go. That's a massive amount of weight to carry. Its not easy. It takes dedicated effort and consistency. But that responsibility also gives Y/you the authority (so long as Y/your s type continues to choose Y/your Dominance) to make changes. 

So balancing life and making sure that Y/your dynamic doesnt change when something drastic shifts in Y/your life will be a tremendous asset. It will grow trust. It will grow faith. It will instill devotion. It will bring about deeper levels of submission. Y/you will unlock new places to play because more trust is established and perhaps an old fear may be laid to rest at Y/your feet that Y/you are given the chance to govern and succeed in governing. 

If Y/you can manage to make sure that despite all the changes in life, Y/you still find creative ways to exist and interact. To find closeness even if Y/you don't have the same time Y/you do now. To find ways to exist in safe and secure places. To be able to grow the dynamic with necessary scenes. Finding ways to make life exciting. Giving your s type a task to focus on Y/you, something Y/you can learn together and bond over. Setting a daily requirement so that her mind may centre and bring Y/you into the forefront of her day. The important part is to make it meaningful and intentional between the two (or more) of Y/you. I mean doing something "because Y/you can" is still a valid reason and it does have its place. But more often than not taking something and transforming it into a really special and unique way of interacting such that there is deeper meaning behind the act or task or specific focus will always yield benefit. I got the very excellent suggestion of creating a code language so that I can talk to my girl in anyway I desire without anyone else knowing. I've come up with a way of making that suggestion mine because I like to put my perspective into the concept of creating O/our own code language. But it's about what works for Y/you, what Y/you need, or what need Y/you are trying to fill. Simply being creative in how Y/you wish to express Y/yourself and Y/your Dominance. 

Despite the fact I have some things figured out I am still currently working at developing my plan for the future I envision. Its barely begun, although in many ways I have been working on it since I entered the Cage just a little while ago. Its been steady self transformation day by day. I have been needing to take care of so many circumstances in my life and as I handle each situation I gain a little more experience and knowledge. 

There is still so much learning to do though. I'm really only scratching the surface of what could happen. But as I grow and learn new skills and unlock part of my potential I am seeing more and more the path that is right and good for me. 

I hope that A/all who read this will find T/their way on the journey thats laid out before T/them. 

Mstr J (I think it may nearly be that time) 

Good sweet Evening Cage friends, 

Holy freak its been a very long time. I have disappeared into the simple life focusing on myself and working at developing who I am and where I want to go. 

Now tis the season for all the change. Many things have happened over the last few months and weeks. I have been keeping quiet because I havent felt led to bring my journey into the spotlight. I like sulking in the shadows and this has been a period for quiet reflection and self improvement. 

I could begin to regale you with wonderful tales of how my life has shifted and I definitely will share some of the more interesting/big life changes that I am experiencing. I still plan to hold onto certain pieces of me that really are for myself and those very close to me. 

Probably the biggest news is the fact that I am finalizing my divorce. Going through the process of separation/proceedings/mediation which is now coming up on 2 years in January. The interesting part is that come January 1st of 2022 I will be officially divorced and making the necessary shifts to get myself back into financial stability and moving forward. The situation will be a little bit complicated as I will still be in some contact with my ex. As part of the process will include us being tied by a property for 4 years. This is all very good and positive though as I am able to move forward and so is my ex in our respective ways that were most important to us. 

There is a lot of change that has occured with work as we have moved into the reorganization of the work structure and while we have been existing inside the new system since the summer there are changes happening and being instigated now in regards to that. As much change is happening most of it is positive from my perspective despite the general low moral and displeasure of a lot of my co-workers. But its all in the perspective. I choose to feel positive about what's coming through although I don't have any issues working nights and weekends which is probably why I am less bothered than many who are up in arms over the foreseeable future. 

As for my personal walk within D/s and the lifestyle things are going well. I have found a remarkable opportunity that may indeed allow me to take massive leaps and bounds forward in my walk if all works out well. My slave and I are getting more and more excited for the impending meeting that we have arranged in February. The neat little wrapping up of my divorce also brings relief in some senses that I will be a free man (so to speak) when we finally do meet in person for the first time. In some ways I have not been stretching myself in new directions in my walk but focusing on mastering what's in front of me. I have added some new skills that I am just developing and trying to tie together all the ways I apply my Dominance into my girls life. We are enjoying the routines that we have built but even those will be altering once January rolls around. So taking these precious moments and savouring them while we can is important. 

There is still so much to do and so many areas where I *feel* lacking and like I may yet be so much farther along. But its the daily dedication to mastering the abilities I desire to make my life abundant, joyful, fulfilling, satisfying, exciting and thrilling. There will be new challenges on the horizon with all of these changes and a bit of a learning curve as W/we shift. Its just reminding myself that where I was a year ago I have grown so much. Giving myself grace and acceptance of where I am at. Knowing that so long as I continue to dedicate myself to my passions that I will grow more and more and continue to reach the goals I set for myself. I know I've come a long way and I am grateful I still have so much yet to accomplish. Reaching new levels will allow for more interesting interactions and I am very much looking forward to the near future and all that will unlock for me. Its a very exciting time with so much going on and I simply can't wait to see what's just around the corner. 

I hope A/all are well and finding success in walking their path, whatever that happens to look like for Y/you. 

As an added bonus here is a small bit of me and some of the foolishness that I enjoy doing with my mouth. This is me enjoying the learning process and testing what I can accomplish currently (really a few weeks ago)

https://voca.ro/1ePlLY5Y4YBN

Hello Cage friends, 

*Disclaimer: Cannabis was used in the production of this blog*

I have to admit I have turtled into my busy life lately. I have disappeared from Cage in order to work on myself and some of the imminent goals that require my attention. I have been self centered. I have not wanted to share my journey because somethings are simply for myself and my girl. 

That being said I am grateful that I feel motivated to open my voice and share a part of my life and my journey. 

Recently I had read a blog (as I have been dropping in from time to time to see what's been going on, but had not felt the motivation that my journey would be particularly useful to share) and there were some strong words used. Suffice it to say the comment that stuck with me happened to point a common flaw among men yet the writer pointed out it was inside every male. 

I did the guy thing. I immediately thought to myself "Yeah but thats not me." The funny thing is though the author wasnt wrong. But I believe the idea should in fact be more generalized. Its the human thing to be our worst selves. At least every once in a while. When I first thought back to my previous actions during my past relationships you could easily be told of a very different boyfriend/fiance/and husband. We all make mistakes, sometimes we say things we don't mean, sometimes we put our foot in our mouth. Sometimes we don't handle our anger well. Sometimes it feels like we utterly and completely fail. 

But here's a massive secret. 

We ALL fail. Fall short. We all miss the mark. It just depends what your mark is. Because mine is different and shifts every single day. Or week. Or month. 

You know what's amazing? We all evolve. 

Now dont get me wrong. There are those that intentionally create false identities to get what they can as soon as possible. Some people are created and made different. With different perspectives. Different opinions thoughts and feelings on what dominance is. How to express it. What does it mean? If you are someone committed to the lifestyle then you will do the work of finding who you are within this question. You will do this work and find this answer before you begin your search for your s type. Self awareness and understanding oneself so you can efficiently communicate that to your partner is essential. 

While we all fall down the best part about humans is we can evolve. We grow each day if we take the time and effort to try and improve. As I said depending which of my ex's you speak with you will get a radically different view of who I am. Or was. Each relationship I made mistakes and failed a required NEED of my person. While all of my history happened to exist inside of the vanilla world I still missed the mark in all sorts of ways. Because not being able to have something like honesty within a relationship is a sure fire way to have it fail. I struggled with that in every one of my relationships. Even my current one. 

There were days and weeks where I lied and the guilt ate away inside of me, causing so much internal damage and negativity. I had no reason to lie but I still chose that action. The thing is, now in my life I'm willing to bring my mistakes forward. I'm willing to admit I'm human. I'm not perfect and I never will be. 

So while as young humans we tend to make poor choices. The question becomes do we learn from that and evolve and improve? I cant go back into the past and change any action Ive committed. But I CAN walk forward and choose my best option. I can be my BEST self today. 

Now some of you may be confused. Why in the blue blazes is the title of this blog RoM?

Because part of my journey involves taking affirmative action towards my health. This happens to involve calisthenics. 

Now Ive spent my night shifts over the last while watching YouTube videos trying to learn my highest priority hobbies. These include beatboxing, calisthenics and Halo 5. I am trying to learn as much as I can within these fields currently to focus and spend in my free time. 

I recently observed a new to me channel of a calisthenics practitioner. Now I don't have a time stamped day of when I set the internal goal for myself to do a HSPU(hand stand push up) but I do believe I have been working towards this for over a year. Guess how far Ive made it? 

I still cant even manage a full handstand. 

I have been struggling to perform a balanced hand stand. I used to be able to do one when I was in middle school. Some nearly 20 years ago. As I was learning some different progressions the creator of this channel pointed out a few really critical important factors to find success. 

RoM. 

This is your bodies range of motion. Sondre Berg (heres a little sample of what he is capable of:

) as you can see he puts a massive amount of pressure on his joints and in one of his blogs he mentions getting the question "How do you manage those movements, how do your wrists cope?" He went on to explain the exercises he works at to build strength and flexibility within his wrists such that he gained "wrists of steel". Part of his explanation involved the concept that you have to have certain ranges of how your body can move. Getting proper alignment with shoulders over wrists and hips all in line, you need to be able to bend at least 90 degrees in your wrists. Because you will put way too much pressure on your shoulders if you don't achieve that angle, and you will eventually cause damage to yourself. The crazy amazing thing is that you can learn. You can work and build that flexibility. It just takes consistent effort each day. 

Because of Sondre, I now have the tools I need and the middle ground progressions that I am capable of managing to work at building the strength necessary to sustain my body weight. To find the balance. To have proper form. I have seen more progress in the last week and a half than I have in the year Ive been working towards my goals. 

The thing is I was throwing myself at the end goal, trying to be at the end of where I want to be. I'm simply not there yet. That is a fact. I was throwing myself up against this wall trying to be "perfect". But rarely if ever can we jump to the deep end of a skill when we are just starting. Some of us have natural talent, different bodies, different minds and can process and succeed in new skills with little effort. But each of us has natural skills and talents. Although we get to choose what we build and gain experience and expertise in. What we want to gain mastery of. 

I can be the best man I can be. I can do better than yesterday. I may fall down but each stumble will become my foundation. I will build my experience and walk taller standing on my past learned experiences. I will stretch my back, my wrists each day. I will work at building strength each day. I will take small steps towards my goals until I accomplish what Ive set out to do. Eventually I will no longer need "my failure today to build success tomorrow" because tomorrow will come and I will find success within that skill/goal. It will take daily dedication but I will accomplish everything no matter how many millions of small steps I need to take. 

I wish everyone success in life, and I hope that you are able to find the steps you need to fill in the gaps of where you want to be and where you are now. Sometimes I think it requires taking a smaller step because we aren't quite there yet. But you have to be willing to do the work. You cant blame anyone else. No one will change anything in your life. (<< This is not technically true, but the point is at the end of the day you must choose how you will act and what steps you will take responsibility for) The burden is on you to be better, and no one can hold your hand while you try and grow. Of course support is available and should be relied upon. No person stands alone. We don't have to accomplish every last thing by ourselves. Whether its a friend, a professional, a partner or even a random stranger you may need to reach out and lean on them. Ask advice and their perspective. Sometimes a second set of eyes can bring new perspective that opens your mind and allows you to see things differently. The more perspective you have the easier it will be to choose a path that you believe in. When you see all the information you can use what is best suited for you (or your person) and how you want to create a scene that will aid by creating the inspiration for growth and change. As dominants we aren't able to change anything inside another person, except we can lead. We can help inspire our perspective right side of the slash to want that improvement. We can show them that we are willing and able to do the work in our self. Create a guide and say "follow me". 

Part of this comes when you know your Will. When you can answer important questions. When you see yourself. 

The thing is we have a million things we can work on in a day. We can clean, cook, take care of property, do laundry, look after children (if you have them) and thats the humdrum life needs to happen things. Part of life is making sure each area is attended. That each section gets attention. Honestly I can neglect my dishes and my kitchen. I can procrastinate in any area. But I ensure that I get back to an area especially if I have neglected it. The funny part is how much more work something becomes the more you put it off. If only I had just taken 15 minutes each day to work at this instead of having to spend 6 hours or days and weeks getting something under control. Keeping on top all of the different areas is essential. 

This all said some days you are just utterly exhausted and like yesterday you just sleep, and nap and rest until you realized the whole day has been used up. Taking time to recuperate, to rest, to recover, to take a day off is important too. Overworking yourself wont gain you results, it will pull you farther away from your end goal. At least that has been my experience. 

To those that choose to read my words today I thank you. I wish you luck in your journey that you find success and joy. 

Hello Cage friends, 

Lately I have found myself choosing to take time for myself. I have not been desiring bringing my walk into the public life. I have been stepping away choosing not to actively read blogs (with a few exceptions) and spend my time focused on what needs to be resolved and worked towards in my life. 

Good things abound. 

Life has radically shifted. It has been very good to understand parts of who I am and being able to share that with someone tangible in my life. Not only to be able to sit down and spend 1 on 1 time with someone who was not a part of my life for multiple years, but beyond Covid to get close to being back with those who matter in our world. 

The part that made me especially proud was being able to express my interests and ideals to someone in my family. Not only that I could explain my path and reach into the different mindsets that I have developed into my style of D/s and M/s. I could simply explain my long term goals, my Will in regards to where Im walking and how I choose to get there. 

Part of this weekend (technically apart of my vacation) really for the first time in my relationship I left my home and travelled to visit my sister to help my family build a deck for her property. We've been working for 2 days and should have it taken care of tomorrow before we head home. While I'm away I havent had the same opportunities and it has been difficult to follow through with an intention that I set with my slave. Although I have managed to keep it thus far, there has been some tough moments to exist in. Its not easy when the P/person that makes life comfortable and relaxing and better in everyway isnt really around. So its been challenging for my slave. But even this bit of distance helps foster trust and gives some freedom to creation and inspiration for O/our journey forward. I have been blessed with good fortune that I would be able to learn and grow. To create more concrete ideas of how I want to experience life, and how I want my girl to experience life. 

It is time to share the fact that W/we have concrete plans to meet in person. W/we have set a date, a time, a location, and while W/we still have months away before W/we will connect for the first time. The countdown is on, its real, it exists and one day shortly there will be a moment where I can experience a scene beyond a camera screen. 

So to those ends, I do desire to bring up the point about goals. Making short term, medium term, and long term goals. 

I have goals I try to accomplish daily. This is the simple but sometimes exhausting everyday cycle. For me that exists with attempting to keep up with my animals, my housework, being hygienic, taking care of dishes and laundry. Exercising my mind and body. Speaking with my girl and having fantastic conversations that can distort time and vanish hours without realizing it. Its about following the daily routines that matter to U/us. I have things that I have created as medium and long term goals and I set daily tasks around accomplishing those goals which have longer completion times. 

For instance, setting a goal about building strength such that I may be able to lift my girl. To those ends, setting a specific goal of achieving a free standing hand stand push up. So each day I exercise, I focus on calisthenics routines that are working towards achieving that. Its about building a mastery in the areas of my life that are important to me. Whether someone else sees value in them is kind of secondary because these are things that I am passionate about. I get excited when I try to share and explain what my understanding of these things are. But I'm still learning little by little. Which is why I've adopted the mantra of " Failure today, leads to success tomorrow". It is about the parts of who we are that take patience to grow. Its about the respect for a craft that takes time to become a Master. Its the idea that what I accomplish today will be the stepping stone for my progress tomorrow. If I dont level everything out, if the proper care isnt taken to ensure everything is square, the next step of the project becomes more difficult because you are fighting with the mistakes of yesterday. Going slowly, ensuring you do the best you can on each step, so that you are most adequately prepared for the next stage, the next rebirth, the next iteration of what needs to happen. That is the essence of what it means for me "Failure today, leads to success tomorrow". 

Now there are concrete plans to meet and I finally have a chance to plan, orchestrate, organize and form my scenes that I want to begin walking and first experience next to my girl. The question of what do I want her to experience resounds so much louder in my head because I can see a time and space and place where this will actually happen. So what items and equipment will I require? What skills should I focus on with the remaining time I have to gain competency in the areas I need to play in? What is essential information? Where should I focus my learning such that I am capable of delivering on each promise and intention Ive made to her? Where is it that I am led to show her experience beyond trauma? How will I work to move through different phases of life and turn triggers into moments that simply take silent acceptance rather than explosive reactivity? Which triggers will I focus on? How will I approach each tender and sensitive area? What methods and means will I require and how will I choose to navigate these spaces and yet create the essence of safety underlying it all? What ways can I reinforce her security? What ways will build trust? How do we take this opportunity to deepen our bond and move into a much more real and serious place? 

I dont have the answers to these questions but I'm working through them. I'm finding answers in different spaces. I'm experiencing new things and taking those lessons to heart to better understand where I may ask my slave to walk for me. The fun part is when days of working on different aspects of life suddenly collapse into a single point where it all lines up with the concept youve been developing, the experience you just received, the daily work youve been doing, and you take an already amazing concept and add a layer to help create something more intricate, more intentional and very hopefully more rewarding in both short and long term. Although its all still a work in progress and will be until the day of the scene. After that it becomes a chapter in the book of O/our experience. Next time W/we pick up that particular book we can take the next chapter which may evolve given our past experience.  Or I may choose to open a new book and develop a different narrative based on different characters to focus on a different part of the soul. But once W/we write a chapter then W/we simply learn from that experience and expand and evolve the next segment to reflect what W/we've learned and how W/we have developed O/our skillsets. Taking each story a little farther once W/we have gained essential experience to truly level up O/our understanding and execution. 

Needless to say life is good, and there is so much hope and excitement for the future. It will all take time but I'm going to do my work on who I am. I'm going to do my best everyday to work hard at what matters to me. Thats all I am capable of doing, but I will excel. I will Master all of that which I set in front of me. 

Thank you for choosing to read my words tonight, I hope that looking into my journey you find insight into your own way forward.