What is greater .. the power to win a battle or the wisdom and compassion to know how to wage it properly, regardless of the outcome? In our little world, there are almost always 2 people engaged in these disagreements, and how we handle them could very well determine our long term happiness.
The Dom - He or she who is, by the very nature of their position in the dynamic, the one who maintains control, gives direction, defends and protects the submissive. A person of strong will and determination, and according to rumor, leading by example.
The submissive -
He or she who has offered their submission to another. Entrusted them with their physical, mental, and emotional well being. But certainly no weakling, the power and internal strength it takes to be able to do that is far too often overlooked by others.
So - at some point these two wind up in a disagreement, or perhaps better stated, a fight, Both will draw upon their internal strengths to sustain themselves. Both most likely suffer from the human frailty of wanting or needing to be "right", to "win" the argument. And both can just as easily cross the boundaries in a fight and then it turns out to be a brawl of two very strong people, each capable of doing massive damage, locked into a battle, each with their own version of "tunnel vision" becoming more and more narrow toward their goal of "winning."
It is when the first voice raised in anger happens, the first insult, the first off topic "oh yeah .. remember when you" statement gets brought up, that a cease fire MUST be called. Simply STOP and remember what your role, your promise, your commitments.
To the Dom - Is this battle really even worth it? Did you do your job? Are you even listening to what the sub is trying to say? How can something your sub feels so passionately against be in their best interest? Is it possible you are wrong ( strength of character building opportunity). Give it a rest, let it diffuse, let it settle down, BUT DO NOT IGNORE IT, come back to it, settle this settle this at an agreed upon time TODAY (and do it before you go to bed)
To the sub -
Is this a "hill worth dying on". Have you heard your Dom? Do you truly understand their motivations? What are they trying to accomplish? Is there a trigger that has been hit here that your Dom is unaware of? WHY do you feel so passionately about it? Can you explain that to your Dom? Again - Give it a rest, let it diffuse, let it settle down, BUT DO NOT IGNORE IT, come back to it, settle this at an agreed upon time TODAY (and do it before you go to bed)
Those who have served to provide to us the blanket of freedom we have become so very accustomed to...That have given their time, their hearts, their courage, their bodies, and sometimes their very lives
Those who sacrificed so very much , who gave all ....
Yes, on this day we honor our service men and women, from the very first heartbeat of our nation until now...,through tomorrow and beyond. We honor the fallen, the wounded, those who served before and those serving today. What you have given us cannot be repaid. And as they come into the forefront of our minds today, PLEASE don't forget the others who have borne the cost of our freedom.
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Thank you to the husbands, wives, and spouses of the fallen, They cannot hold you today, but we can....
Thank you to the children who will never feel their parent's loving embrace again, or have their parent's to guide them through life, let us all do our part to do what may be done ...
Thank you to the parents who bore the ultimate injury, "No parent should ever bury a child", to the brothers and sisters who lost a sibling... we give our purest and sincerest thanks and eternal gratitude.
America, put aside for a day your differences, between us let there be no black, white, indian, asian or other races. Forget about ALL OF OUR DIFFERENCES for a day. For today, we must honor those who made our very existence and right to be free even possible, and remain ever mindful of the duties and responsibilities we owe the ones they left in our care.....
You go through life, sometimes alone, sometimes with another, but you go through life. And when you lose someone, or something dies that you thought never could, any other cornerstone of your world crumbles to ruins, you may find yourself suddenly lost, seemingly cast out of the light...adrift in a stormy sea... and feeling very...alone. The waves pound your heart, the relentless wind howls and screams from every direction drowning out the voices trying to reach you, and what is left of your soul desperately starts to seeks salvation, restoration, preservation, as you drift there, broken, battered, alone at sea, at the mercy of the elements it seems, and you begin to wonder if you will see the sun again in this existence.
This is also when predators seem to prefer to strike, (because frankly they could not succeed much unless we you are new or damaged) appearing underneath you from the blind side, circling, plotting, whispering those oh so tempting promises of safety and healing, when what they really want is to use you for whatever moments pleasures or gains they may be able to get, before casting you back into the storm, further damaged, not caring what their present moments pleasures have cost you in the future. You see the teeth, you know the voice you are hearing is misleading you for cause, that it is not to be trusted, yet you still feel drawn to what is being sold as sunlight. Don't let it happen, it is more hollow than the storm you are already in.
Friends try to console you with words, but words are never enough. They are naught but faint howls in the wrath of the storm, whispers on the wind, barely audible, faint glimmers of sunshine peering through the distant horizon, and so very far away from where you are now, that is seems unlikely you will ever reach that peaceful place, and escape the storm.
So you hold on to the wreckage, surviving moment by moment it seems at times, unable to visualize escaping the wrath of your existence, perchance only trying to survive this minute, this moment, until the next moment arrives and you desperately repeat the process again. Over and over the process repeats, the minutes tick by, the hours pass unnoticed, day turns to night, and night into day, days into weeks, and weeks into months.
Suddenly, and without warning, you will find the sea a bit calmer, the wind just a bit less brutal, and you know it is time to begin to heal. The pictures of the TRUE past come more into focus with reality, stripped of their fantasy existence . Your battered mind summons the will to outstretch your hand, reach for the light as it were. You have endured the pain, survived the barrage, and the edge of the storm is just a bit closer. It is now that your mind overpowers your heart, shutting it down, encasing it in a very necessary impenetrable shell, unreachable, protected, safe. With clarity of mind and purpose, you begin to paddle, working your way out of the storm, until you are finally in calm waters, still alone, but in calm waters.
So in the distance you see an island, and you make our way toward it. As the sea thrusts your shattered body upon the beach, at least you know you have found some security. Survival time has arrived. You build a shelter, find food, lick your wounds and continue reinforcing the hardened case your heart was placed in out at sea. Once you are certain it is safe, You begin planning your inevitable departure from the island, back to civilization, back to your life.
This is the decision point people. This is when you must decide if you are going to uncase your heart, and become a whole person again. Or will you allow the previous experience to prevent you from any chance at finding happiness again? You see, you are still in the rebuilding stage, the stage where you are laying the foundation for our future. Yes, you can rebuild completely and keep your heart safely encased, but it will mean a life without the possibility of a true love, the True Dynamic. Because you see, you need your heart to get that, you will have to trust it to another, as they trust theirs with you. If you want to be able to give and receive love, we have to open our hearts here at the rebuilding stage, so it gets stronger and healthier with the rest of us.
So where does all this power come from to do this herculean effort of rebuilding yourself from the center soul outward? It's inside you, it always was. But until now you were using it to calm, to heal, to nurture, to soothe your pains and wounds. Now add the BDSM personality type into the mix and it gets even more powerful.
Doms - Dom's tend to have a natural high power level, and most of it shines outward, in a leadership type role But a Dom MUST posses imho the strength of character and force of will to be able to set aside their own well being and selnse of self preservation, if needed, for the betterment and protection of another. Try finding that character trait in "Sammy the slick tongue snake" at your local vanilla bar.
Subs -
OMG, how to even begin. To have the sheer force of will it takes to submit (truly submit) to another human being is a power beyond my comprehension, and no simple words will ever explain it with any sense of justice. Don't agree? Then just ask the strongest Dom you know if he'll role play it with you and find out! Oh yeah ... "Bar-b, the bouncy boobed bimbot" at the local vanilla bar doesn't stand a chance either -- fyi
Now I know alot of people will disagree with this, they will say "until you are fully healed you cannot give to another", but I respectfully disagree. I believe that if you have rebuilt enough of yourself where you are done grieving and pining away for the thing lost, then you are capable of once again entering into a dynamic. But you must be careful, do not just jump on a ship because it is passing by. Take your time, learn about who it is you are talking to. Get to really know them, and for Gods sake, do it on the phone or in person. Alot can be learned that way, from inflections, tones, and body language, and best of all - predators don't have the time they need to edit and rewrite their bullshit.
The True Dynamic, once found, will not only heal your remaining wounds, but it will surge a level of power into your lives that will enshroud you both, keep you and protect you, you will fill their valleys, reinforce their weaknesses, as they will do for you. And each of us must remember, the other will have some protections in place, or maybe even just need to learn how to trust you, be patient, be kind, be understanding.
Anyhwo, just my 2 cents on healing and moving forward, take it for whatever you will.
So here I was, perusing the ol Cage last night, when I came across a very intriguing profile. It started out with "My pussy is mine!" Now it went on to paint a very good picture of the person, but that line stuck with me most of the day today. So often times in this lifestyle, we place claim on such things. Or do we? This person clearly felt a need to make that distinction.
When your Dom has you properly tied to the St Andrews cross, your body fully exposed to his every whim, whispering, growling, and nibbling into and on your ears, running his hands slowly over your body, kissing and biting your neck and inner thighs, edging you closer and closer to that wonderous moment of release, and then suddenly and forcefully grabs your crotch as you know he wants to enter you with all his heart and soul, yet pauses at the critical juncture to whisper into your ear ... "Whose pussy is this?" - what does that really mean?
Does he mean "this is now mine, you take care of it, but understand it's mine just like my Harley is mine, I get to ride it whenever and however I want, I can leave it sit in the garage as long as I want, ignore it as long as I want, and you no longer have any say in the matter. And if we split up, I want it in the divorce! I am taking it with me!
Now substitute anything else you want for the pussy. Tits, head, body, heart, soul, whatever.
Get the point? yeah, that's bullshit. submission is NOT slavery. Hell, even slavery isn't slavery in this llifestyle! Submission is never EVER taken. It is an earned honor for a sub to offer her submission to her Dom to HOLD PROTECT AND CARE FOR, as long as HE DESERVES TO... not to own forever regardless of his actions or deeds. If the Dom violates the trust of the sub, or the sub simply wants to be done, she has every right to do so for little or no reason at all if she chooses. And in doing so, everything that was is laid to ruin.
So when A dom makes such a claim, please remember, it really only means "while you choose to see me as your Dom" - and God willing, that will be to the end of days together :)
My "Lost in Space Robot when I was 10! he was motorized and actually spoke! Sadly, 2 months after Christmas my Brother amputated his motor to make and sell an "electric pencil"
2: Favourite album
Rush - 2112
3: Favourite childhood TV show
See above! Lost in space of course!
4: First film at the cinema
Tagging along with my much older sister and her date at a drive in theatre - Jaws! Never forget that silhouette swimming in the beginning!
5: First crush Celebrity and Personal
Celebrity = Batgirl from the TV series - actually wrote her a letter too!
Personal - Elizabeth Traylor - kindergarden - she loved being chased around and caught (go figure right!)
6: Favourite animal
Snow Leapord
7: Favourite film
Basically anything "Star Trek"
8: First kiss who and where
Hiding out in a tent in the back yard in Orlando with my GF - and it was well more than a kiss!
9: First real contact with the Kink world
several years ago now - The young lady I was dating at the time, while snuggling at bedtime, me stroking her hair trying to calm her migrane, looked up at me with her head resting on my chest and asked me if I would spank her sometime. Prior to that night, in my world, in my upbringing, BDSM was something only "those people" participated in, and was to be shamed and scorned.
10: Only one person to be left on a Island with for a year, without any technology.
Assuming alive or dead is available, Isoroku Yamamoto, CIC of the IJN in WWII - would love to speak to him, learn from him, and get his varied if not controversial perspectives on WWII
I woke up this morning in a place I hardly ever like to ... lol. Yesterday had been a very long and trying work day, one of those days where you come into the house at the end of a workday, and even though the only thing there to greet you is a couple of furry meowing hungry roomies,. you are happy to be finally home. So I had some dinner at my desk, and literally fell asleep in my office chair somewhere around 930 I guess.
So about 430 this morning, I woke up in that damn chair, one of my roomies sitting on my chest looking at me, the other lay on the desk, head resting on my arm, peacefully sleeping. There are worse ways to wake up, and while the sleep was not as good as it could have been, the day could not have started any better. Just how those little villain's knew what I day I had, I have no clue, but ... there they were, and I was happy to have them.
So my day started 2 hours earlier than normal, but it started out well. So I fell asleep with the cage on the the screen, and I woke up to a message and a new profile like! Both good things! As I normally do, I went to each users profile and read their posts and or blogs before communicating with them. I mean, if people take the time to write a profile, or blog, or forum post, I want to read it and learn some about this person reaching out in whatever manner in this electronic world. It makes me feel a bit more like I am talking to a new acquaintance rather than just tossing messages in a bottle out into the ocean
One of them had written a music in bdsm post, and I noticed a Sara McLachlan song on her list. Now that woman has haunted my soul since first hearing "In the arms of the Angels", so naturally, I gave this new song a listen, and once again, very happy about it! This naturally led me back to my favorite song from her, and every time I hear that song it means something different to me!
The first time it resonated with me, was right after I had gotten divorced some years back now. After 30 years of vanilla marriage, she had left, casting all our plans, hopes, dreams, and memories onto lifes funeral pyre. It had ended long before she left, we both knew it, and today, I place no blame or fault. Yet, when it actually happened, I remember how utterly alone and despondent I felt. How I wondered if I had the courage to continue on, to try and rebuild my life, or whether I even wanted to. I had thought of trying to reconcile with her, finding a way to stay together, and then a Conway Twitty song reminded me of the futility of of even trying, she had found somebody new, and was finally happy again, and I had no right to try to take that from her. The lyric that stuck out was:
t's your life, you say you need a change Don't all the dreams we've seen come true mean anything You say it's different now and you keep staring at the door How can you walk away, don't I matter anymore
If being free is worth what you leave behind And if it's too late for love to change your mind Then it's goodbye time
Publicly, you would not have known anything changed. I was stoic, strong, and determined in appearance, I sought neither help nor support, I especially hid my true condition from my two wonderful adult children, Both made regular contact checking in on me, and I did what I had to do to convince them I was allright, and help them come to terms with the divorce without casting blame or having them choose sides between their parents. Yet behind the closed doors, only my two furry friends ever really saw the truth. And then I was watching movies one night, and "City of Angels" came on, and that song "In the arms of the Angels" played. It gave me comfort, made me see a flicker of light for the future, and somehow inspired me to tap into my true inner strength and begin the long journey to find myself again, to repair my battle damage, and put my feet back onto lifes pathway/
So, after a year or so of the most honest introspective journey I have ever taken, I came to peace with the situation. I always thought I needed to forgive her for leaving, that somehow that was the ultimate goal. For abandoning everything we had built. For casting aside the vows of forever we both had taken in front of our friends, family, and God. But it simply was not true. You see, our marriage was tested many times. We had faced trials and tribulations most couples I pray will never have to. We had endured so many things, so many challenges, and in retrospect, each challenge took it's toll. Each victory was at the cost of some of our strength.
And when the police knocked on our bedroom door in the middle of a cold winter night ( I still have no idea how they entered the house unless the alarm company let them in) , we had to face one of our children attempting suicide, multiple times over several years, we each poured all of our hearts and souls for years into protecting and helping that child. In the end, it was fine, that child is now fully grown and happily married to a wonderful spouse. But, when that crisis had passed, we woke up as strangers. We still loved each other, and likely always will. But the other parts of the relationship had long since been abandoned, and had fallen into the abyss. We had given all we had into protecting one child, and making sure the other stayed safe. We had grown over the course of the years into different people, leading seperate lives, no longer a couple. And happiness had eluded us in the end. Was it worth it? Neither of us would do it differently if given the chance to do it again. A parent cannot take that risk.
So, my long term goal of forgiving her was true folly. Forgive her for what? For doing what she had to? What we had to? For having the courage to walk away and find happiness again? For realizing it was over and putting it to rest? If anything, I owed her a debt of gratitude. For doing her absolute best to protect the family, for helping to insure our childrens future. And for waiting until they were fully grown and capable of understanding before acting to find her happiness. Had it been left to me, I most likely would have continued on forever, with a good friend living with me, ever mindful of the promises I had made to keep, honor, and protect her. And I would have seen both her and I into oblivion, unhappy, unto the end of our days.
So nowdays, as I listen to this song again, it gives me hope and strength, it reminds me what I am seeking, it shines the promise of a brighter tomorrow above me, helps me continue my quest to find "her", and the true BDSM dynamic. I am finally whole again, able to finally give my heart to another after passing through the fires of hell to get here, and I am ever thankful for the "Arms of the Angels" for helping me get here. And I am eternally grateful for my two furry roomies who know me so well.... together, we'll find her :)
Imagine what the opening credits of Star Trek might have been if if were based on kink? Well .. wonder no more!
First off - the ship would be shaped a but differently ... lol
And the original opening prologue ...
"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations'; to boldly go where no man has gone before."
Would DEFINITELY had to change! Here are my suggestions 😄 enjoy...
..............................................
..............
Dom Trek
Face, the final frontier These are the voyages of the Domship Enter-her Its five year mission To explore strange new toys To seek out new kinks And new bondifications To guide them both where his sub has not gone before
Sub Trek
submission, the final frontier These are the voyages of the sub-ship Earn-It Its life long mission To submit to one who has earned it To seek out he who is worthy And surrender herself To boldly offer what no man has held before
Brat Trek (oh God don't let us forget the brats! :P)
submission, prolly not the final frontier These are the voyages of the brat-ship "Oh yeah?!" Its private little mission To push your limits and hit your buttons To seek out just where your sanity ends to make you go and redden her ass far more than ever before
The sun peeks through the bedroom window and lightly warms my face as I awaken from a sound nights sleep, complete with yet another of “those dreams.” The dream was an erotic adventure of mammoth proportions, and as the fog slowly lifts from my mind as I become more awake, I also frantically struggle to remember all the events of the dream. The more awake I become, the more the details of the dream become foggier and foggier, further hidden from my conscious mind, until all that is truly left is a basic framework of the adventure, but that will have to suffice I tell myself, and get up and begin the new day.
Throughout the day I get glimpses of events from the dream, and begin to wonder if this was perhaps an intuitive glimpse into a possible future? Unresolved satisfaction begins to morph into insatiable frustration as I struggle to get a mental picture of the woman’s face in my dream. Who is she? Have I met her? Is she real? Yet she eludes me again, as she has on countless previous occasions, and I succumb to the reality that for now at least, I will not remember her face.
As I sit down to watch the news after the day’s work is done, my mind finally relaxed and at ease, I am able to recall more of the details which have been suppressed in my mind. I remember the way she was biting her lower lip as I bound her hands above her head in the shower. The soft gentle moans she was helpless to prevent escaping as I stood behind her in the shower, my body pressed against hers, her head titled backwards as I held her by her long brown hair and slowly hand washed her body.
Lightly yet firmly wrapping my hand around her neck, her, pulling her gently backward, and whispering into her ear “Who do you belong to?” She answers me with in a soft moan and presses harder against my body. I slowly run my hand down her body until I position my hand between her legs, and after getting a firm grip, whisper again into her ear “that was not an answer Princess, who do you belong to?” Another soft moan from her precious lips escapes her mouth before she finally replies “I belong to you Sir.” I release her crotch from my grip and whisper “Good Girl” as I move my hands back to her shoulders.
Now,moving my way down her body, slowly washing her breasts with the soft silky soap, circling her nipples but not touching them until at last I grasp her tits firmly with both hands and draw her body into mine. She begins sliding her moist pussy back and forth along my pulsating cock that is resting between her legs, beckoning me, almost as if she is teasing me to enter her.
And that is when the sun appeared, and the day had to begin. But now I am but a few hours away from sleep, and I hope and pray for the story to continue, but even moreso, I cannot wait for the day when the dreams become the life ……..
It is my (perhaps amateur) view that the hardest endeavor we can undertake in this flicker of time we are granted on this Earth is the one of self. The sordid journey undertaken to step back out of our lives and take "the strangers" views of something we may not really want to see... ourself. To be able to honestly and passionately take a personal inventory, To see ourselves as others would see us, to strip away the rose colored glasses that so wonderfully superimposed image of our desired version of who we WANT to be over who we truly are....
Yet, if we are to grow, if we are to develop, if we truly seek to find the heart that seeks us, to embrace it, to hold it, to become 1 heart with it, this trip cannot be avoided. We must learn who we truly are, and what we truly seek. So it must begin with definitions......
So who am I?
Does this mean I am weak? Damaged? Needy? Distraught? Hardly. Five days of every seven, I don my suit, put on my much despised tie (yes, I truly hate wearing them!), and go help lead a sales team of 25 "Alpha" type personalities, keep the peace between them, and help them retain their focus, energy, and pursuit of their personal and professional goals. THAT my friend, can suck the life out of you .... lol. So why in the world would I ever want to be a Dom in my personal life? Seemingly to continue that same type of developmental role in my time off? Because at my heart, in my core, at the center of who I am ... that is what I am. I can no more change that than the moon can decide to orbit elsewhere for a better view of the universe.
So ...back to my inventory. My honest inventory ....
I am strong. I am resilient
Notice I did not say invincible. I am not pounding my own chest. But, I know I am strong enough to face whatever life has thrown at me so far. And I have both endured it and become a wiser person for the travels.
The death of a parent, the suicide of friends, the end of 30 year marriage, and all the other tribulations and trials of my life, I have weathered them. Not always perfectly, not untouched, and certainly not without damage. But I still exist..... and am stronger for the travel, and have repaired my battle damage, and healed the parts of my soul that took those hits to become the person I am today.
I am not perfect
None of us are. At times I am headstrong and bullheaded, especially when faced with troubles, guess it comes with being Irish German. I tend to muster my strength and prepare for whatever is coming in times of trouble. I know there will be time afterward to repair, but cannot be focused on that during the battle, And if the trouble involves a loved one, God help the person bringing it. Now not saying I am psycho with a pen fetish, but I won't give up defending my own ....
I am not the most physically fit person I know of, lol. But it is something I work on daily. Reason? Because I want to make sure that when I find her, we have all the time I can possibly give her together.. that's why. Because I want to see my granddaughter become the person she is destined to become. Because I want to see my grown children happy with their lives, and succeed in whatever manner suits them. Because I want to live long enough to die with no regrets...
I am not complete
My journey thus far has led me to see a part of me I never knew was there. There is a empty space inside me that will only be filled by completing my journey and find her.. this I know. An ever burning need to find the Holy Grail, the true BDSM Dynamic. Odd how we can live so many years and not see something inside us until we stumble on it unexpectedly ....and finally embrace it.
4 years ago. Friday, February 26, 2021 at 12:32 PM
Before I get started on this particular blog, let me preface it by saying if you are one of people in the world who's belief is that we live, then we die, and simply turn into nothing and vanish, this one likely is not for you! So if you read past this .. that's on you lol.
There are so many things science can and has told us about how we work, function, and continues on. But, when you look at the answers, it is blaringly apparent that science can tell us many of the "what's", but very very few of the "why's". For instance ...
We all know that if we get cut, it will heal and grow together. But WHY? What gives that particular section of our body to instruction to develop new skin and flesh, and heal the wound? And what tells it to stop producing new flesh or repairing old? Solve this one folks and you just cured Cancer.
All bodies, human or otherwise, are controlled via the nervous systems, using electricity to transmit signals and information within the body. But ... what generates this electricity? Where does it originate? How is it modulated? What allows our brain to actually store and retrieve information?
We all have experienced physical and emotional pain in our lives. Emotional pain can be recreated by revisiting the experience in our mind, but physical pain ... can be remembered that it was felt, but not the feeling itself. So what is it in us that allows for all this emotion? Why are we different than a tree in the forest, existing but not self aware.
Most of us would agree that there is a something, call it a soul, call it an energy being, something that basically uses our physical bodies for our existence in the world. And we are ever developing and changing over time. Science fiction (Star Trek and the like) many years ago actually had fantasy items that are some of todays realities. So, in that regard (here comes the leap for consideration!), what if they are right about human evolution? that someday we will be beings composed of pure energy, Or as some have suggested, when our physical bodies cease to function, the "energy" that is us continues to live on and evolve, free from the physical constraints we endure in our current states.
Now, let me ask you a question or two! Remember that (be honest .. no fibs!) person (Dom, sub, whatever) that you had interest in? The one who you chatted with for a time, all the while wondering if this was "the one" for you? The one who, because you had no idea of their physical anything, engaged in and were excited to get to know? Oh, but then came the fire hose! Stomping that fire out faster than lightning! Remember what it was? Ag difference? Height? Weight? Handicap? Eyes? What exactly was it that made you do a 180 and write them off or banish them to the friend zone?
Now, I ask you ... what if we WERE energy beings. What if you removed ALL PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES from that person, would you still have done a 180? See, the heart doesn't know any better. It just wants what it wants. It's the eyes, the fear of public opinion, our our own prejudices that torpedo these people from the good spot. Ever wonder how happy you might have been with them if you were blind?
Just food for thought peeps .. just food for thought....
